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Thursday, December 20, 2007

And it Didn't Even Taste That Good

The cafeteria's on the Microsoft campus are pretty decent most of the time. Sometimes the lines can take a while, so I usually choose where I eat based on that. Today I went early so I chose The Pasta ya Gotcha, who's lines can get slow. I usually order the Texas Tijuana Taco Penne or just Taco Penne for short. It's pretty good, it's easy for them to make, and they sell a lot of it. Instead of ordering the Taco Penne, I decided to give the Penne Puttanesca a try.

For those of you who don't know, Puttanesca is basically a tomato sauce. So I go up to the counter and give the girl my order, but being an English speaking person, I had a hard time with the pronunciation. I can't really spell out what I sounded like but it was roughly, "putschensciahss." I expected the girl to laugh at my bad pronunciation, correct me, and then make it. Instead she stared at me blankly. So, I tried saying it more clearly, basically enunciating each of the letters, "Putt-an-es-ca." She still had no clue. I tried pointing at the menu, and saying "the one on at the bottom of the menu." But it's hung above the counter so that the people who work there can't see it. She turned to the other guy working, who thought I wanted to know how much it cost. "No," I responded, "I want the Penne Putt-an-es-ca. How do you say it?" After some more hand waving and pointing they eventually figured out what I wanted and started to make it.

Since I was obviously still mispronouncing it, I wanted to know how to say it so they would understand if I ever ordered it again. So I asked, "How do you say it?" pointing to what she was cooking. She then said, "You don't want." with a thick Spanish accent, thinking I had changed my mind. "No, no I want it." waving my hands, letting her know to keep making it. At this point the other guy goes to the back to grab a third person. Now you would think, this third person would be the manager or at least someone who spoke English. But you would be wrong with that thought. The third person came out, and I asked "How do you say Putt-an-es-ca?" he also had no clue what I was talking about, and after a few more attempts at communication, I finally just waved him off with a "never mind." I took what they made me, and resolved myself to only ordering the Taco Penne from then on.

Bitch! If you work in a service industry, learn to speak the mother fucking language!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Reduce Carbon by Using Paper

Last week, I found this site carbonfund.com. It's basically a site that will take your money and use it to reduce carbon in the atmosphere.

The thing with these companies, is they tell you they are supporting projects that offset the carbon we spit out into the air, but if you read through the sites, they never really provide details as to how they are doing that. They just say, the money goes into replanting forests, and building wind towers. But are they really? Do they have pictures of people out planting trees? And where are these tress being planted? Because when I drive down the streets, I see a lot of trees being chopped down for new housing developments. And why do they need to support building wind towers, the government already offests that cost through tax incentives to companies that build them.

This carbon fund site, has a blog posting offering to sell people post cards, talking about the great work they do, and promoting global warming awareness. I decided to leave a comment on the blog, asking about how many trees died making those post cards they are selling, and that even using recycled paper has a negative impact on the environment. And aren't they supposed to be planting trees and not cutting them down. As you can expect, they have the blog set up so that my comment doesn't post right away, someone has to approve it. And as of today, it still hasn't been approved. Big surprise, someone calls them out and they don't want to post about it.

On a similar subject, MSNBC recently did an article on Miami-Dade Empowerment Trust, a non profit blowing money on all kinds of things besides the poor. The article as a whole was an interesting read on how Americans overall are donating 300 billion dollars to charities, and there is little to no oversight on how that money is spent. "the Supreme Court has ruled there’s nothing inherently illegal about a charity that spends just 1 percent of donations on good deeds" that's right, you could be donating to reduce greenhouse gases, but are you really? It's sad when people have to start sites like the San Francisco based Great Nonprofits, to tell us what nonprofits are worthwhile or not. By the way, Carbon Fund wasn't on the Great Nonprofits site.

Monday, December 17, 2007

The Seattle S.L.U.T

I occasionally volunteer down at Seattle's Center for Wooden Boats. This last weekend I was down there for the grand opening (if you could call it that) of the newly added 52.1 million dollar, South Lake Union Streetcar, or South Lake Union Trolley, aka SLUT.

For those of you who aren't local or up to date, Seattle has decided to solve some of it's transit problems by building a street car that runs a little over 2 miles, from no place to no place. What ever happened to being able to walk? I walk 1 to 2 miles every day after work with the dog. Yet, people in downtown can't walk a mile or two? Not only that, but this street car, is totally in the way. It has made it a pain in the ass to park down at the boat center. Street cars block traffic, and actually cost more to operate then buses. So why are we building this? Because we live in Seattle, and there is a reason we have the worst traffic in the country, because the people who make these decisions are fucking retards! And that's why we voted no, last month of prop 1. For those who don't like buses, and since we are like little San Francisco, let's build a subway system like the BART.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

10 Reasons to Hate Christmas

Last year around this time I did my 10 Things that Make Me Go Cranky at Christmas Time, I've decided to follow that up with this years 10 Reasons to Hate Christmas

10. Environmentalist throw out their beliefs with the trash - Read my posting on Christmas Garbage.

9. We spend money on pointless crap that usually get's forgotten about, broken , or lost by next Christmas - "In 2006, the average US household is expected to spend about $1,700 on Christmas and holiday spendings" according to a report in the economist. Maybe if people weren't so obsessed with belongings, they could just sit back and enjoy spending time with family, instead of crying about wanting the latest game for their Xbox or PlayStation. Such as the new ACE COMBAT 6: Fires of Liberation game for my Xbox 360 that is out right now.

8. Speaking of air travel - Holidays are the busiest time of the year for air travel, which equals longer wait times, delayed flights, and other travel hassle. Yet we all just accept it as part of the holidays. And of course, the negative impact on the enviroment.

7. The fat get fatter - We start with Halloween candy, work through thanksgiving dinner and Christmas egg nog, and top it off with a drunken blowout New Year's eve. And we do this every year, with a New Year vow to loose some weight that we never follow through with.

6. More fires - Yep all those lights, dry trees, paper, and candles lead to one thing; people burning themselves. One report I read stated, "candle-related fires rise by 140%" during the holidays. Although I'm not complaining about the dumbass adults who start the fire, I do have issue with that dumbass adults kids being included when the house burns down on them.

5. More traffic accidents - lets take some ice and snow covered roads, add some holiday cheer in the form of alcohol, then drive home after that Christmas party.

4. Chinese toys - Most all toys we buy come from China. Many of these toys have been recalled due to safety issues lately. Not to mention, that they are manufactured by low paid, over worked people in a communist country. Yet that doesn't stop anyone from buying them. Isn't it sad that websites have to publish articles titled 10 Green Toys for the Holidays, because it would be to hard to find 20.

3. Political correctness -When I was a kid in school we actually would get a tree for our classroom and decorate it. But now we wouldn't want to offend anyone, s0 schools don't do that anymore. But does anyone go to the PTA, the school board, to complain. Nope, they just complain at home because we wouldn't want to offend anyone. All those newspaper ads you all read looking for specials, are all "holiday" specials, not "Christmas" specials. But that doesn't stop you from looking and buying. And my favorite is how companies have a holiday party instead of a Christmas party! If t-shirt hell made one, I'd buy the t-shirt that says "Merry Fucking Christmas Bitches!" and wear that to my company holiday party.

2. Did you finish your Christmas shopping? - How often to we hear this each year? Or how often do we say,? "I finally finished my Christmas shopping" or "I still need to finish my Christmas shopping." And we always say it in the same way, it's always a chore something we have to do for Christmas. Yet we do it anyway.

1. The holiday spirit - have you ever noticed how during Christmas, if someone does something nice it's because they are in the holiday spirit. It's like the rest of the year they are total asses, but since it's Christmas they can be nice. What, you assholes can't be nice for the sake of being nice!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The Hand of God in Colorado

Another nut by the name of Matthew Murray went on a shooting spree in Colorado, going after people in a local church. But instead of reading about a huge number of dead, we get to read about a couple of bad asses. The first is Larry Bourbannais. According to the story as told by him, he was wounded in an attempt to confront the guy. He didn't have a weapon but as a former Vietnam vet, he wasn't afraid of a little gun fire. When the shooting started he ran to the room to where the guy was at, and found a cowardly security guard, who was armed but not returning fire. Bourbannais did try to get the guard to hand over his weapon but the guard wouldn't do it. Personally I think Bourbannais should have bitch slapped the guard and taken the weapon, but he didn't need to because Jeanne Assam a former police officer was there, gun drawn, and ready to use it. And God was with her, because she calmly identified herself, then shot the mother fucker.

For those of you who are for more extreme gun control, and banning fire arms. This is why that is a bad idea. Because the only thing most gun control laws do, is make it more difficult for law abiding citizens to get weapons. Murray would have gotten his weapons anyway, and even if he didn't, he could build a bomb, or who knows what. But, by allowing Assam to own a firearm, she was able to stop this guys before the killing got out of control. Think of all the other shootings that have happened, and imagine if we had a couple people like Larry Bourbannais and Jeanne Assam at those locations, each armed and ready to take care of business.

MSN Article
The Denver Channel Article

Friday, December 07, 2007

Early Morning Asshole

The break room counter in my office, has to the right a water cooler/heater. It's typical of most break rooms. It has a hot, room temp, and cold. Just to the right of that, is a stack of styrofoam cups. There is also a stack off to the left of the counter near the teas.

So, I'm at the water filling my mug with a little hot water to rinse it out. As I'm standing there, a guy, a good two feet taller then me comes into the room, and reaches over me to grab one of the styrofoam cups. Keep in mind he could have went to the other stack, but it would have involved taking an additional two steps to get to. In the process of grabbing the cup, he elbows me on the side of the head. It wasn't hard, but still he did it, and it was rude. He could have waited two second for me to finish, or like I said, grab a cup from the other stack. But what really pissed me off is, he didn't do what most of us would do, which is immediately apologize. So of course irritated I was like "Excuse me." In retrospect I should have said "excuse you" but it was early and my mind hadn't woken up yet. At this point he says a quick, "oh sorry" then goes to start his coffee and leaves the room while it brews. As I finished what I was doing, I slowly get more and more aggravated. Maybe because it was early, or maybe because I was a little shocked, but I didn't actually get as mad as I normally would have while he was there. And unfortunately or maybe it was a good thing, but instead of waiting for him to come back and immediately punch him in the nuts, I left and went to bitch to a friend of about it.

As I'm writing this, I realize the appropriate response would have been to spit in his cup while he was out of the room.

It's people like this guy, that are why I don't want to be a Microsoft FTE, and why I enjoyed not being here so much over the summer. As I've posted before, they think everything revolves around them, and they don't even notice when other people are in the room. Unless of course, that other person in the room is a higher up manager, then they totally know that person is in the room. Fucking ass hounds!!!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

When Nature Interferes with Our Drive

the Seattle PI had an article yesterday, about the recent rain storm we had in Western Washington, and about I-5 being closed down. In the article they mentioned in order to raise the interstate through that area, so it doesn't happen again, the estimate is around 300 to 400 million dollars. And we all know, with the way the government works, if they actually do it, it will end up costing twice as much by the time it's done. Oh, and keep in mind, it's not like that money will go toward preventing any of the homes from getting flooded, only raising the highway, so we can drive past and look at the flooded houses.

Are they seriously thinking about spending nearly half a billion dollars to raise a road that might flood once in a lifetime. And the result of not raising the road is, that people will have to spend twice as long as they normally would driving from Seattle to Portland. Big freaken deal people, so it flooded. It happened, it might happen again, lets accept it, wait it out, and move on. Stop making such a fuss when nature happens.

Photos courtesy of the Associated Press

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Border Problem Solved

On the drive into work this morning, I was listing to a talk show and they were having a pretty heated debate on if we should build a wall to block off Mexico and the U.S. I'm sure we've all heard the arguments, so I'm not going to get into that. What I'd actually like to do is propose an alternative to the wall.

Instead of building a wall or even a fence we build towers. On the top of each of these towers we have snipers, and their job is to shoot anyone who tries to cross the border. We'll put up some signs, in both Spanish and English, letting them know attempted crossings will end it death. But, we will also allow anyone who makes it through to become an instant U.S. citizen.

There are a lot of advantages to this idea. First, it will greatly reduce the number of people trying to cross the border. Once the word is out, my guess is fewer people will try. Second, We will reduce the cost of border management. We won't have to spend the money on the cost of building a wall, and I guarantee we will have no shortage of gun toting Texan's willing to volunteer to sit on top of the towers. And we are helping to reduce the population growth we are experiencing. And for all those concerned about illegal aliens, like I said if they make it across the fire zone, they become a citizen and can go get those jobs picking fruit and mowing lawns.

It's a win, win situation for all. Well, except for the people who get killed, but that's okay, because as Star Trek teaches us "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few"

Friday, November 30, 2007

Christmas Garbage

This last year has been a big year for the environmentalist. Al Gore won the peace prize, every where you turn there are advertisements for going green, the hybrid engine is what everyone wants, and global warming is one of the big issues facing this planet. Yet, as Christmas is now less then a month away, other priorities take over the need to save the planet. We need to get to the mall and get those gifts bagged and wrapped, we need to hang the lights, and of course strap a tree to the top of that Prius to take home and decorate.

Where are the ads letting people know that all those lights use electricity, and that those trees will die and most of the time don't get recycled? Where are the people buying toys not made in China? And how much off all that crap people buy will get recycled? Here is an interesting statistic, we throw out 25% more trash from Thanksgiving to Christmas according to the Stanford recycling center . Where are the environmentalist now? I guess being an environmentalist is something you only have to do 9 months out of the year. Makes me wonder what Gore has planned for the holidays?

This year I've decided to take a stand against Christmas and killing the planet. I've decided not to drive 300 miles to visit family and use gas. And I've decided not to visit the department stores from Thanksgiving to Christmas (except for tomorrow because I need to get myself something). I'm not going to decorate my house with gaudy lights, and I'm going to save a tree by not getting one. And if anyone feels the need to get me a present, they will be getting a picture of me in return flipping them the bird, which can be immediately thrown into the recycling bin.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Texas Joe the Bad Mother Fucker

There are very few things about the conservative south that I can appreciate, in fact, there is really only one I can think of at the moment; the way they deal with criminals and guns. Recently a 61 year old Texas man named Joe Horn caught a couple of people breaking into his neighbors house. The first thing Joe did was call 911. The second thing Joe did was grab his shot gun. The third thing he did was run out to confront the two guys, and shot the fuckers dead.

How many of us would do something like that? Sure we might do something if someone was breaking into our homes. But to protect a neighbors, that takes a certain level of courage/craziness, and Joe has it. Unfortunately, as you would expect some people are saying Joe should be prosecuted for shooting these guys. That he should have waited for the police and let them take care of it. Shooting these guys is no loss to society, and maybe if more people were like Joe, we'd have less crime on the streets. And as for waiting on the police… Come on, hours later when they would finally show up, the criminals would have been long gone. The only thing the police would have done is file a report, and go back to writing speeding tickets or hanging out at the local Starbucks. And for the people saying Joe should be prosecuted, they need to have their houses broken into, get tied up, and fucked in the ass while people take everything they own. At that point, I bet they would wish someone like Joe was living next door to them.

- Full A.P. News story -

Monday, November 26, 2007

Jack in the Crotch

This last weekend on the way out of town for a little trip, I was hungry for a quick breakfast, and swung through the Jack in the Box. I ordered a breakfast jack meal. This is usually a breakfast sandwich, orange juice, and those little potato sticks. After leaving the drive through, I start eating my sandwich, then got to the potato sticks only to find out that instead of the usual 4 potato sticks, they gave me 2 chicken fingers. We had two options as to what could have happened; one is the retard working thought they were potatoes and mistakenly put them in my bag, or they ran out of potato sticks and were sneaking in chicken tenders thinking people wouldn't notice. The second option is what I think happened. Not because I don't think fast food employees are total fucking retards and could mistakenly put in the wrong thing, but because Jack in the Box normally puts in 4 of the potato sticks and not 2. at least they could have been honest about it and offered me some dipping sauce. Because actually, I prefer the chicken tenders over the potato flavored grease sticks.

On the way back to Seattle I decide to give McDonalds a try. This time I ordered the crispy chicken club meal, this usually has cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. The only modification I made was no mayonnaise. I should have known they were going to fuck up the order when the guy taking it, was really intent on trying to sell me a Coke. And of course, it's not till I'm on the highway that I notice the massive dumping of mayonnaise on the sandwich, and besides that, they gave me the regular chicken sandwich with no tomato. Since the sandwich doesn't have cheese, it was basically a chicken patty on bread.

Like Pesci said in that classic Lethal Weapon 2, "they fuck you in the drive through!" Not through intent, but because they are fucking morons, who can't pay attention to the simplest little task of placing an order.

For those of you who feel my postings haven't been cranky enough lately, specifically "Deanna" I hope this one is up to the standard you are asking for. And if it's not; piss off you cunt licking cum dumpster! You and my scumbag, garbage collecting, overweight, bald, looser neighbor, who lives in his moms condo, can run off together and start your own blog at cuntlickingcumdumpster.blogspot.com and make it as cranky as you want.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

2 Months

I've hit the two month mark here at Microsoft, and I'm ready for another three month vacation. Sometimes it's the little things. For example; the 3rd floor mens room doesn't get hot water unless you run it for about 5 minutes, and one of the sinks hasn't had the soap refilled the entire time I've been here. But more importantly, the 3rd floor vending machine, hasn't accepted change the entire time either. It normally accepts bills but not today. Today, I'm guessing it's full of bills and can't accept anymore because no one can use change.

We can afford to spend tons of money on useless crap, but can't afford to spend money on something that will feed me and keep my hands clean. Only ten more months to go!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

That's General Terrorist to You Scumbag

Here is a funny little blurb I pulled off of Fox News. Yes, I know, what the hell am I doing reading the conservatives favorite source of spreading propaganda? Just because, that's why. Now read…

Frequent Flier
You would think a retired general who fought in two wars — has four medals for valor plus the army's top medal for service — and has a top-secret security clearance — would not have much trouble getting on a commercial airliner.

But a Denver TV station reports Major General Vernon Lewis Jr. has been delayed more than 40 times because he shares a name with a suspected terrorist on the TSA's no-fly list. General Lewis has tried to resolve the matter by going through his congressional representatives and taking part in the TSA's Traveler Redress Program. He was even sent a letter last year saying he had been cleared off the list. But the next time he flew — he was stopped again.
Says the general — "My credentials are impeccable. It burns me up to be treated like a terrorist."


A friend of mine has a similar problem as the general. Whenever he travels, he get's pulled aside and harassed because he has the same name as someone who's on the terrorists watch list. This is just another sign of how worthless our airport security is. You would think, that in the process of profiling flyers, they would have taken into consideration that some people who fly, might have the same name as someone else, and how to remove that person from the watch list.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Go Auto, Go

Take a look at this bus and the traffic around it. As you can see it’s pretty congested, actually at this point in the picture it’s stopped, but prior to the picture it was congested. Also, look at the car behind the bus.

Prior to this image, the bus was in the left lane of traffic, and the driver decided to change into the right lane. In congested traffic like this, I can see the need to be a little aggressive, but what this bus driver actually did was just cut straight over to the right lane, while the gray car was in it. Basically the person in the gray car, had to hit his or her brakes, and swerve over to the right so as not be hit by the bus.

I can imagine the driver of the bus saying, ‘This is the way we do it in L.A. kids.”

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dangerous Donuts

The week before last a cop in Philadelphia was shot. Yes, yes, sad that a cop was shot but the reason I’m writing about it… the cop was shot in a Dunkin' Donuts. When people stereotype, it’s situations like this that create those stereotypes.

Click here for Full Story

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Yippee Skippy No Prop 1

Western Washington voters, apparently read this blog and were smart about voting because it looks like Prop 1 is out. Prop 1, was proposed as the largest tax increase in the state to pay for a few miles of a light rail system, and some road improvements. A light rail system that we haven't even shown will improve traffic, and road improvements that we can guarantee won't improve traffic.

Check out the story on the Seattle PI, my favorite quote: "County Councilwoman Julia Patterson said it wasn't clear to her why voters said no" Seriously? You can't figure it out ? How about it was a butt load of money and we got nothing useful for it. Hey Julia, guess who I'm not voting for next time she's up for election. Yeah, bitches who are totally out of touch with the voters, that's who.

Lets hope that legislators spend all their time trying to come up with a new way to propose this, and fighting amongst themselves as to why it failed, instead of actually putting this on another ballet.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

at&t Wins, Employees Still Loose

I recently posted about how at&t is getting cheaper and many other postings on the way it treats its employees. According to a recent article I found on newsvine, at&t has seen nearly a doubling in revenue since last year. They discuss the Bell south “merger” as a source, and the article also points out the increase in subscriber base due to the super popular iPhone.

What I think is interesting here is; that the company is making record profits now, yet still feels the need to be cheap when it comes to its employees. Employees at that company have some of the worst medical benefits around, they get some of the lowest salaries, and as mentioned in previous postings, they don’t even get cups in the break room.

Previously at&t management uses low revenue as the reason for many of these cuts. I wonder what excuses they are using now to keep being so employee unfriendly.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Butt Sex at The Davenport

I think the reasons republicans are so against the gays and any legislation in favor of gay rights is, they hate themselves and take that out of people who are capable of admitting to their homosexuality.

A Republican Washington state legislator Richard Curtis has decided to resign in another Republican gay sex scandal. For those of you who haven't heard, Curtis a man who is supposedly not gay, voted against every gay rights bill that came through his office; met some guy at a sex store in Spokane, took him back to his room at the fancy Davenport hotel, and shagged him. Unfortunately for him, the guy he met wanted a little money out of the deal, which Curtis didn't pay. If he was smart, he should have paid, considering the guy only wanted a thousand bucks for his participation in the butt sex. Let's look at some of the facts of the case, Curtis was the one who called the cops, and he actually admitted to meeting the guy in the sex store, and taking him back to his room. It is at this point the stories differ. Curtis said he was just helping the guy out. Yeah right! He's a republican remember, they don't help people out, that's why they are republicans.

Just like when you invite a girl back to your private island; if you pick up someone at a sex store in the middle of the night, there is only one reason you take them back to your room.

Full PI Article

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

DumbAss Democrat’s

The Seattle PI posted a survey done by the University of Washington on how some of our local Seattle initiatives are doing. The first one on the list is Prop 1. The transit package that will drastically increase our taxes, while providing nothing useful in return. According to the poll, 43% of those surveyed are leaning toward a Yes vote, with 46% leaning towards no. Yes, I’m glad the no votes are ahead but it’s by way to narrow of a margin. The sad part that unfortunately doesn’t surprise me is; “The transit package runs well among Democratic voters, and holds a narrow 47-43 lead in King County. But Republicans oppose it by a two-to-one margin, and Pierce and Snohomish County voters are going against the measure by a 49-37 margin”. It’s not often that I agree with Republicans, but when I do it’s usually on issues of finance. So all you Dumbacrat’s who are thinking about voting for this, smarten up, stop doing what the TV commercial tells you, and vote no. It’s a bad tax increase, and what we get isn’t worth the cost.

Monday, October 29, 2007

The God Gene

I’ve never been much of a religious person, primarily due to the fact that people abuse the system, steal money, molest children, and of course use it as an excuse to create wars and kill people. Wars and killing has been a staple of almost all religions since the beginning of time.

We’ve all heard of the Catholic Inquisition during the middle ages, or the Crusades, all sanctioned by the Pope. Prior to that, we had Romans killing Christians and Jews. Here in America we’ve had the KKK using religion as the just cause behind their kind of fanaticism. We’ve had religious sects committing mass suicide via various religions cults. And of course there is the Middle East, where they have almost always had one religion against the other, including the current fanatical Muslims using holy wars as an excuse to attack Americans, and just about everyone else not of their belief. I recently read a book called The God Gene, about research showing we are genetically predisposed to believe in a God. And they do a pretty good job of proving it. One thing the book doesn’t talk about, our predisposition to war with one another in the name of religion. And this is the ultimate proof that there is a God.

Let’s say God is all knowing and all that other stuff we are lead to believe. If that’s the case, God would have realized by endowing us with the desire to procreate, as time went on the population of the planet would increase, straining the natural resources. So, by instilling us with different variations of similar beliefs in an afterlife, and that our religion is the right religion, God gave us a method of population control – Wars, fighting, and killing. Yes, we have disease, famine, all that other stuff but when it comes to total numbers, my money is on the holy war for population control.

Friday, October 26, 2007


I’ve been using Windows Vista for about three weeks now and so far, I’d have to say... It sucks!

My company provided a high speed fancy IBM laptop, which is supposed to keep up. It has tons of ram and a super fast processer. Well it doesn’t keep up. I don’t blame the laptop, I blame Vista. I'd bet if it had XP on it, it would probably run like a dream.

So for those of you thinking about upgrading, here are some of the things I hate about it:

It’s SLOOOOW: When powering on my laptop in the morning I usually start it up, go to the break room, get some coffee or tea, walk back to my office, and it’s only about half way through the startup process. This is easily my number one complaint. I've even removed a bunch of the startup crap in an attempt to reduce the startup time. It helped… a little… I think.

It freezes up a lot: Whenever it’s in the process of trying to figure something out, the screen fades, and the spinning circle (formerly hour glass) hits the screen and I can’t do anything. On my XP home computer, depending on what the issue is, I might be able to open a browser and surf the net while it resolves whatever the problem is, in word or whatever other program I am using. On Vista it pretty much locks me out of everything. And a spinning wheel seems very appropriate for this product.

Compatibility: Actually this hasn’t been an issue for me, since I use it for work, which is at Microsoft. I’ve read enough on this happening to others, and I’ve decided to hate the product for this reason on their behalf. I will comment that last year when they launched Vista, we were told not to install it, due to compatibility with internal software.

Things I’m supposed to like about it but don’t:

Doesn’t crash to the point of having to power down and reboot: Honestly this hasn’t been an issue for me on XP, they’ve managed to work out most of the kinks by now.

Widgets: Big freaken harry deal! I actually turned these off to help reduce the amount of startup time. And when had them, I didn’t even use them. If I did really want these, there are plenty of ways of getting them on an XP computer.

Search Functionality: one of the big hypes about Vista is the desktop search actually works. Once again, big freaken deal! If you aren’t a total and complete retard, you can actually organize the crap on your computer so that you can find it without the search.

The layout: I know everyone loves the new friendly mirroring a Mac look of Vista, but honestly, I didn’t have a problem with XP. I knew where everything was, and I could find everything I need. I don’t care at all that it looks prettier.

On a site note; I have started using Microsoft One Note, and have to say I love it. It is probably one of the most useful programs Microsoft has come out with since Excel.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Road and Transit Proposition 1

This year on the ballot in the Puget Sound we have Proposition 1, a traffic package that will raise taxes by the "largest local tax increase in state history", according to King County Executive Ron Sims. Here in the Seattle area we have some of the worst traffic in the country. In fact, when they compare all major cities we average 2nd place. Which is why people feel so strongly about reducing the amount of congestion. But if history has shown us anything, it's shown us that no matter how often we approve traffic taxes, the traffic never gets better.

The major point in prop 1 is that it will allow them to expand the light rail system they are building. If anyone remembers; we had a monorail system they were building, that was voted on and approved, spent millions of dollars on, and never got built. Now they are trying to do it again with this proposal under a different system.

They are also saying the money will go towards roads, and bridges. Yeah, right! Our local government is completely inept when it comes to these items. Instead of asking for more money, why don't they take the money they currently get and use it correctly. The proponents say it will "Repair Seattle’s most vital bridges." that's right, not replace, not expand, just repair. Why are they saying this, because a bridge collapsed a few months ago, and they are trying to use scare tactics.

Last year I occasionally took the bus. Over in the Canyon Park area of Bothell, they built a walking overpass near the transfer station, and re-routed the southbound buses for it. The bus driver told me, it reduced his time by about 5 minutes. So millions of tax payer, road construction, release congestion dollars, cut about 5 minutes off the bus rout. Near my house, they are building a roundabout. After driving that road for 2 years, I can honestly say, traffic didn't get backed up, there weren't accidents, and as far as I can tell absolutely no need for this roundabout that has now caused congestion, where there wasn't any.

If you are thinking about voting for this because it's said to only last 9 years, and then it will expire. Come on! When was the last time you saw a tax expire? Personally when I get my property tax bill, I've never seen it go down. I've never gone to the store and noticed a reduction in the sales tax. And the only time I saw a reduction in my car tabs, was when we voted and approved reducing them, not because the current taxes were expiring.

So if you are a local resident, please be smart for once and vote no in this proposition.

Check out these links for more information.
- If you only read one thing about the tax, read this one. It's by the guy who should know. "The roads-and-transit plan: so much cost to do so little" by Ron Sims
- The Seattle Times opposes
- The Stranger opposes

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Odd, Very Odd

You’ll have to cut me some slack on the quality. This was taken at about 6:45 in the morning, with my point and shoot digital camera, on auto. So the quality isn’t that great. But it was such an odd thing to see, that I had to take a photo of it.

If you will notice, the cop is driving in stop and go traffic, in the slow lane with the rest of us. The carpool lane was open and he didn’t actually drive in it. How often does this happen? I’ve never seen it before…

Friday, October 19, 2007

Paint, Plumbing, and Carpet

Here’s something odd; Microsoft, a company that can afford to pay 10 people to do the job of 1, and can afford to paint and re-carpet the offices in my building for no reason, can’t afford a plumber. One of the urinals in the 3rd floor men’s room has been broken for a week. The water to the 3rd floor apparently comes from a low level water heater, because it’s pretty much always cold. One of the sinks on the second floor men’s room doesn’t shut off. And pretty regularly, the kitchen sinks are out of order. Obviously the building has plumbing issues. So being a logical person, I would think instead of painting all the offices the same color, and replacing the carpet that doesn’t need to be replaced, they could spend that money on having the plumbing redone properly. But hey, what the hell do I know, I only work here. I’m sure the person responsible for facilities, has never even been to this building.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A Briefcase in One Hand, A Schlong in the Other

I walked into the bathroom at the same time as a guy carrying a briefcase. I’m running from one meeting to another so I have my laptop in my hand. I do what most people around here do, I set mine on a bench they have in the men’s room. He walks to the urinal with the briefcase in one hand, and takes care of business with the other. This is pretty impressive - he manages to unzip, hold, shake, and zip back up with one hand.

What he didn’t do: After he was done, he didn’t bother to flush the toilet, and he didn’t bother to wash his one used hand. Instead he grabs a paper towel and walks out. I’m assuming it was to open the door with; apparently he’s paranoid of all the other no flusher no hand washers that use the men’s room.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Breeders Hate the Environment

In honor of blog action day

Last week the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Al Gore for his work on promoting global warming awareness. Personally, I don’t see how making a documentary and doing a bunch of speeches deserves a peace prize, but hey, it’s better than awarding it to someone for starting a war in the Middle East. But what good is Gore really doing with his global warming awareness campaign?

People are jumping on the hybrid car fad. Reducing the amount of carbon being pumped in the air, doesn’t eliminate it. Plus with the ever growing population, more and more drivers are on the roads. Even if we all drove hybrids would it really make that much of a difference?

Most everyone I know does a decent job of recycling paper, aluminum, and plastics. But we still have plenty of other waste that ends up in the landfills. The trash collector comes every week, as compared to the recycling that comes every other week. Why is this; because we throw away more trash than we recycle. With the average family producing two children, and the old living longer, the amount of trash only increases.

When it comes to food and water, we are already seeing situations of shortages. Yes, not so much in this country as others but it’s still visible. If Florida has a bad year we see a reduction of oranges and increase in price. And with the ever growing population, we are eating more and more, especially here in America where we need to feed our increasingly obese.

Around the country we are witnessing the constant destruction of forests to support the plethora of housing developments for the ever expanding population. Here is Seattle and the surrounding area there is a never ending stream of developments going up. Just about everywhere I look, there are three-thousand square feet homes being built, for these two child families.

Yet throughout all of this, we run around acting and pretending like we are doing something good about the environment when we recycle that plastic water bottle, or inhale the beautiful fumes being released from our French fry oil burning biodiesel Volkswagen.

What it comes down to is, if you really care about the planet, the environment, global warming, etcetera; you would stop having so many children. As we each add our genes to the pool, we are increasing the strain on the planet and continue to slowly move towards exceeding what this planet can support. People! Save the planet and stop breeding! Or if you have to breed, limit it to one child. Unless you are a republican or just plan and simply stupid, in that case, get fixed and do the planet and future civilizations a favor by not procreating at all.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Jog Lady Jog

Here’s one for the stupid bitch file. I usually leave my house for work pretty early in the morning. Early enough to where it’s still dark outside. The route to the highway involves traveling down a road with a decent sized shoulder on each side but no sidewalks, except for the new developments that have installed them along the roadway. I’ve started to notice a woman jogging down the side of the road. Nothing unusual except for the fact that she is jogging with the flow of traffic instead of against it. For those of you who know the law, it’s that you actually have to walk or jog against the flow, so that you can watch for oncoming cars. I know from experience that this kind of sucks when it’s dark because you get lights in the eyes. But the reason for this being a law is, you can see the oncoming cars, and hopefully jump out of the way was some drive-tard comes along talking on their cell phone, doing their makeup, or sleeping, and drives into you. When jogging with the flow, you don’t see this and they end up hitting you from the back. Based on the way people drive on this road, and the high volume of traffic, I am waiting for it to happen to this lady. I’ll be sure to post when it does.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

The Worst Season

A lot of people tend to babble on about how nice fall is. They make statements about the pretty trees changing color, or the fact that Christmas is coming up. Personally, I hate fall. Out of the four seasons it is by far the worst. Fall represents the end of summer and the beginning of cold. And as mentioned, Christmas is coming, the worst holiday of them all.

I went to a craft store today to pick up some picture mounting materials, and they already had a display dedicate to Christmas. It had a countdown clock, telling us the number of days till Christmas. They had lights, lawn crap, and worst of all they had Christmas music playing from a little display item.

So what does October and fall represent? Three months of Christmas music, people talking about Christmas, and Christmas crap at every store I go to.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Crafty Janitors

If you will notice in this picture, we have a box. On the left of the box is mixed paper and the right is white paper only. Also notice, inside the box are two plastic garbage cans. If you didn’t know any better, you might assume that you are supposed to throw the paper into the garbage cans inside the box. But what you can’t see here, on each garbage can is a label. On one, it says cans, and the other says garbage. So what we have here are four containers with two being stuck inside the others. This is normally how this setup looks. So as you can imagine, since people are lazy we don’t bother to take the two containers out of the box. We just throw cans into one, and everything else into the other.

What is happening here is; as the janitorial service comes through the Microsoft office, they dump the items then stick the two containers into the box. After giving it some thought I figured out why the janitors are doing this. If the janitor comes into the room and has to empty four containers, then that’s twice as much work they have to do. But by prearranging it this way, and knowing human nature (I’m not going to separate them that’s the janitors job), the janitors have decreased the amount of work they have to do.

Screw recycling if it helps me do my job faster.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Always the Same

There are quite a few things about working in an office that never change, and using the men’s room high on that list. Today, I went to the men’s room and walk over to the open urinal. There is a guy, just finishing up in the one next to mine. He zips up and walks to the sink, doesn’t bother to flush. While over at the sink, he does that thing that some people do, he blew snot into the sink. It’s such an amazingly nasty sound to have someone blowing their nose directly into the sink, that I wish I had a tape recorder with me. After blowing his snotty nose, he proceeds to dump water into his hands and splash it all over the place in an attempt to wet and comb his hair, before leaving.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Names that Piss You Off

Here’s an interesting conversation I was having that is so true it sucks. A friend of mine commented on how when watching the Office TV show, he doesn’t like or find attractive the character of Jan. During our talk, he pointed out it was due to some old rag he had to work with at one point that ruined the name for him. And it’s totally true how one name can run everyone with that name. I used to have a snatch of a manager named Chrissy, and even though it’s not a common name, if meeting someone with that name, I’d probably hate her… unless she was totally hot, then I might make an exception.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Cheap Gets Cheaper

Any corporate office I have ever been in has a break room with a pretty standard stock of items. They will usually provide a soda machine, coffee, tea, filtered water, and of course paper plates, plastic utensils, and Styrofoam cups. At Starbucks corporate office they have an espresso machine; and here at Microsoft all the soda and juice you can drink is free. AT&T (aka Cingular) in their never ending need to screw employees by cutting cost has recently one upped themselves. A few of my friends, who for some odd reason are still employed there, have just had the few items they were provided with in the break room cut. AT&T stopped resupplying the cups, the plates, and the plastic utensils. Not only that, the removed the filtered water. We are assuming so they don’t have to pay for new filters. And, they increased the cost of soda in the machine to .75 cents. That’s right, not only are they cutting cost on the employees, they are trying to make a little money off them. I did find out that they are still providing the cheap crappy coffee they’ve always provided, you just need to bring your own cup.

I was talking about this with a friend last night, and he pointed out that not only is this cutting cost, it’s reducing productivity. If you think about it, they are forcing people to leave the office for most everything. So there will be no more work related discussions when bumping into people in the break room. Lunch is lasting longer than it would if people ate in the office. And of course, they are creating disgruntlement with the employees. I hated working there for many reasons, this would have just added to the list.

Microsoft has done a pretty good job of motivating people and keeping them at their desks. I can walk into the break room, quickly grab a Mountain Dew full of sugar, and return back to work. Or if I’d prefer, I can hit the button on the fancy Starbucks coffee machine and have coffee ground before it brews a fresh cup. If I bring in a lunch, I can cook it up real quick, throw it on a paper plate and head back to my desk to eat it, while working.

I can see why AT&T would need to cut cost and make a little more money. They do change their
name every other year. It’s not cheap to change the signs on all the stores, and I’m sure it’s not cheap to change the paint scheme on the corporate jet.

If any of my readers are thinking about going to work there, don’t.

Thursday, September 27, 2007


I’ve decided to add a new word to my vocabulary; Republicrite. It really has to do with what a bunch of hypocrites the republican party is. The republicans often spout off that they are the party of fiscal conservatism, i.e. the party that tries not to spend tons of money on crap. Yet, under the last few years of a republican controlled congress and presidency, we’ve seen the national deficit go to its highest levels ever, and the largest increase in spending primarily due to the 200 million we are spending EACH DAY on the Iraq war.

It’s budget time in Washington and the democrats are looking to pass a bill expanding and existing State Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP), which will cost about 60 billion dollars over 5 years. George Bush has stated he will veto this bill in an attempt to save some money. Yet, in practically the same sentence, Bush is requesting another 50 billion to hold the war over for the next few months, and another 190 billion for next year. When all is said and done, projections are that we will end up spending over a TRILLIAN dollars on a war that we started, in another country that doesn’t even want us there, yet, we won’t spend a slight percentage of that amount of money to make sure poor kids here in the United States, have access to health care.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Oh how I love being back at work. The day usually starts off with the alarm waking me from whatever dream I was enjoying. After laying and fighting the urge to go back to sleep, I have to get my lazy butt out of bed. On the drive to work, (not counting the side streets) I spend about 30 to 40 minutes on the interstate, to only go about 15 miles. For those of you not quick at math, that’s average about 25 miles per hour on a road that should be 60 miles per hour. I then get to work and search for parking. After finding a spot, I go to the elevator to enjoy some jackass getting on before me, and not catching the door as I try to get on.

To finish it off, I get to drive an hour home.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Return of Cranky

I’ve received a few comments from people that the crankiness of my postings has been a little week lately. Well yeah people; I’ve been on vacation for the last three months. My time has been spent sitting by the pool, traveling all over the place, hiking and camping, and of course drinking. So, yes not a lot of things to bitch about for the monkey. But don’t worry; just for you my faithful readers, I’m going back to work next week. So you can look forward to the return of Microsoft trash talking and bitching about whatever is in the news. You can look forward to crankiness because I’ll be getting up early, dealing with traffic, and the general irritation that goes along with wintering in Seattle… Enjoy

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Sad State of Protesting

It’s kind of a long video and not all that interesting, but there is something funny about these anti-war protesters, from Saturday. As you can imagine, most people are behind the fencing, holding signs and chanting. But, on occasion it will cut to people being pulled off by the police. It’s more or less people who cross the barrier, no big deal. They go accross, then lay down to be arrested. What makes this funny is, all the protesters in the background start cheering as each person is pulled off. It’s like, "yeah, good for you, you stood up and got arrested for your beliefs! Oh me? Oh no, I’m not going to do it. I’m just going to stand back here and cheer. I don’t want to get arrested, I have to be in the office Monday morning.” Hippies from the 60’s put us to shame.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Overly Sensitive Bloggers

I received an anonymous comment about the lack of crankiness in my paid advertisement of a posting yesterday. So here is some cranky commentary for you anonymous.

Have you ever tried to leave a comment on someone’s blog only to get the notice “pending blog owner approval” or something similar? I know I have, and it pisses me off. These insecure little bitches, can’t accept the fact that someone might say something they don’t like, so they have to check it first before letting people read it. And of course, if the comment doesn’t go along with them, they just deny it. I’ve found this often on political blogs, as can be expected. I found it on some chronic depressive loser’s blog, who probably didn’t want people to see all the comments telling him that, yes he should just end it all. And of course, I’ve found it on photography blogs, who probably didn’t want people to comment on the crappiness of their pictures.

So all you little babies out there who can’t handle some criticism, or someone who disagrees with you, just come here to The Cranky Monkey. Because on my blog, you can say whatever you want and I won’t stop you. If you are someone I know, I might respond in person with a kick to the balls or a bitch slap across the face. But for the rest of you, say whatever you want, because I don’t care.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Any Straight Republicans?

Every once in a while I’ll get in a political debate with one of my conservative/republican friends, and they tend to act like something is wrong with me for being a liberal/democrat. And thanks to the news over the past year, I’ve come to the conclusion of what it is that’s wrong with me; I don’t like to have sex with boys in public bathrooms. Now don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a tryst in the local men’s room stall as much as the next person. It’s just that I prefer the person I’m doing it with, to be a girl and someone I actually know.

U.S. Senator Larry Craig was arrested last June in a men's room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for… yep you guessed it, soliciting himself some gay sex. He can now be added to the ranks of Florida Republican congressman Robert Allen, and many others who have ended up in the news the past year.

Once again the party that wants to constitutionally ban gay marriage, arrest men who enjoy UFC fighting a little more than they should; turns out to be the party getting busted for following in the footsteps of our favorite 80’s pop star George Michael.

Cartoon by: Rob Rogers, The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pennsylvania

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Volunteers Needed

Having this summer off from work, I thought it would be a nice idea to do some volunteer work... Because I’m such a nice guy. The first place on my list was the National Forest Service. This last winter we had some crazy weather, and I knew that quite a few of the hiking trails in the Cascades had been closed because of it. Personally, I hike pretty regularly and the idea of working outside for the summer, sounded more appealing than my regular job of sitting at a desk. I went to the website and printed up the volunteer form. After printing the 4 pages, I filled out the questionnaire. I’ve filled out less paperwork for actual jobs. After working out the cramp in my hand from all the writing, I mailed the form off. That was in May, it’s now September and I’ve never heard back. What the hell forest people? Next time my dog shits on one of your trails, I’m not cleaning it up.

I did end up volunteering at the Center for Wooden Boats. I figured I’d get to hang out around boats, pick up some fun skills, plus volunteer hours count towards boat rental time. This place did actually get back to me, and I’ve been heading down once a week. The job consists of sanding, then painting, then sanding, and some more painting. No new skills picked up yet, but at least I get some sailing time.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Tough Dilemma

So this friend of mine was telling me about this tough issue their family is dealing with. They recently found out that a person can only own so many vacation homes in the U.S. without being penalized by the government. That’s right, they are so rich that the government is getting on them about owning to many homes. I’m guessing the 6,000 square foot vacation cabin, for two people, they just built in Idaho must have pushed them over the limit. In order to solve this dilemma they did what most people do, they created a LLC and put a bunch of the homes in a business name. But it turns out this has created another issue for them. Since a couple of the homes are in a business name, they have to pay additional insurance on the house my friend lives in. I’m not sure why, but now they are going to have to pay an extra two hundred a month in order to keep vacation homes all over the country.

Stories like this sure make me feel better about my 1,200 square foot condo in ghetto Everett. Problems I don’t have to deal with.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Screw FedEx Up Its Corporate Butt

I’ve started to notice a pattern when it comes to having items shipped to my house, and that pattern is that FedEx is a fucked up company, that can’t do shit right! Some of you might recall my posting on June 13th about a fun experience with them. Now I’ve got another one. I recently order some archival quality DVD’s made by a company called MAM-A, through Amazon. Amazon uses FedEx for delivery. The order was placed on August 10th. On the 22nd it dawned on me that they hadn’t arrived yet. I logged on to Amazon’s site then to FedEx’s site to check the status. On the 16th of August they tried to deliver but apparently didn’t have the correct apartment number for my condo. So instead of trying to contact me, they took it back to the FedEx facility and it has been sitting there ever since.

First of all, when I placed the order through Amazon I gave them the correct address. And when reviewing it on the site, they have the correct address. I’ve ordered from them before at this same address and never had a problem. So I’m blaming FedEx for this problem, because FedEx sucks!

I was able to call them, give them the correct number and get my package. Good thing I didn’t need it by a certain time though.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Thanks Comcast

I finally managed to get rid of my crappy roommate last November, and in the process, decided to cut cost and save a few bucks by canceling the cable. I realized that I spent way too much time vegging and flipping through the channels, when I could be spending my time more creatively. I was too attached and needed to break away. Besides, I still had a DVD player and a Netflix subscription.

In calling to cancel the service I pretended I was moving in with someone and didn’t need it anymore, so as to avoid listening to the keep me as a customer sales pitch. You know the kind; let’s make a deal, what it would take to continue service, etc. After hanging up the phone I felt great. I had set the cancellation date for that following week and was ecstatic. Soon, I would be spending my evenings practicing the guitar, or working on that great American novel I’ve always talked about, or actually using my brain in the ways they did back in the days prior to TV.

As the week timed down and the cancellation date grew close, I found myself canceling plans in order to sit at home and watch the television, even watching shows I didn’t normally watch. After all, I only had a few days left and needed to get as much TV time as possible before it was gone. I figured I could spend time with friends or being creative at home the following week.
As the workday went on and the expectation of my last night with cable began to loom I started to think of ways to compensate without the cable. I still had a fancy plasma TV that I didn’t want to go to waste. I could get a media center and attached it to the TV. I could get an Xbox 360 and use Windows Media Center with my computer. That way I could copy movies and shows to my computer’s hard drive and watch those. All kinds of great ideas came into my head, all of which involved expensive electronic upgrades, which kind of goes against one of my points in canceling the cable, saving money.

My last night with cable came and went, it was a good night and my final show = South Park. At least I can continue to get it on DVD

Unfortunately the next day I did the thing that many of us do, I plugged the cable wire into my TV to see if they actually flipped the switch…. They didn’t. The cable still worked. Damn you incompetent Comcast!!! I spent half the next day vegging in front of the TV. It’s now August, going on one year since the cancellation date and I’m still receiving free basic cable, so I want to watch it even more. I know I could call and tell them they didn’t shut it off, but come on, free cable, I’m not that dumb. I’ll wait for them to figure it out. Unfortunately, until then, I’m trapped in front of the TV, doing the same thing I did before, only with fewer channels to choose from.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Microsoft Bubble

I’ve decided to coin a new term, “Microsoft Bubble”. First I want to clarify what I mean by this, it’s not the bubble in the sense of “housing bubble” or “economic bubble”. The bubble I am referring to is that imaginary bubble we all have around us. The bubble that says this is my space. Most of us can respect the bubble, yet can still see that there is a world outside of the bubble. Microsoft employees on the other hand, have a hard time with the world outside of the bubble. Obviously this doesn’t mean all MS employees; I would say the “Microsoft Bubble” applies to about 80% of the employees.

It’s getting to the end of summer and I’m considering doing another contract at Microsoft, and have been thinking about what a joy it is to work there. How a Microsoft employee can be having a conversation, heating lunch in the break room, standing or walking yet not acknowledge that people are in their vicinity.

One morning I was heading to the elevator. There were four people getting on counting myself. I was the last of the four. Most people, when getting on an elevator, who notice others coming will catch the door, so that last person can make it. This however did not happen that morning, which is why I have a series of posts about riding the elevator. The first two got on, selected their floors and stood. The third person, talked on her cell phone, all three of them looked directly at me as I was walking towards the elevator, yet none of them reached to grab the door as it began to shut or hit the hold button. I of course was close enough to catch it myself but still, since it didn’t involve any of them, they took no action.

There can be two people in the hallway carrying on a conversation. What most of us would do is, stand off to the side so that others can walk past, not MS employees in the bubble. They have expanded their individual bubbles to merge into one and use it to block paths of travel. The rest of us in turn must walk around, usually involving pivoting sideways, or even having to walk through the bubble. Walking through the bubble of course breaks it and you the passer are the one who gets nasty looks.

The “Microsoft Bubble” is that attitude of entitlement that people get when working for this company, which leads them to believe they are above the rest. That they are entitled to do what they want, stand where they want, and totally disregard anyone without that same entitlement bubble.

I can’t wait to go back!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The I-Bill

A friend sent me this one. No wonder they can’t pay their employees a decent wage, they have to cover the expense of shipping bills.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Dude, Eat it Quick!

Finally a cop does something useful. Actually he’s an ex cop, and it’s not so much providing a service as it is, making a few extra bucks. Barry Cooper a former narcotics officer put together, a “Never Get Busted Again” video.

According to a quote on MSN, “The nation’s fight against drugs is a waste of resources. Busting marijuana users fills up prisons with nonviolent offender” He’s saying what I and many others have been saying for years, let’s stop wasting money on this bull shit war on drugs, legalize some of it, and spend the money and resources where they are really needed, like invading middle east countries.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Take this Corn Dog and Shove it

The food industry pisses me off sometimes. For example; if I buy a corndog and want to make some french fries with it, I more or less have to cook them separately. The corn dog has to be cooked at 375, while the french fries are cooked at 450. WTF people, can’t you geniuses come up with a way so that we consumers can prepare these items at the same time? It’s not like everyone in the country has two separate ovens for cooking! My options are cook separately, or set the oven at 400 and try compromise cooking, which usually results on the food not coming out right. So get with it Oscar Mayer and Ore-ida, set up a conference call and work this shit out. Oh, and the people who came up with 10 buns in the bag and 8 hot dogs, you do the same….

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #20

I haven’t posted in a while about my hate/hate relationship with the police department. Here is an article I found in the Seattle PI (How far is too far for vice cops patrolling Seattle strip clubs?). Basically, a bunch of cops are getting harped on about being overly aggressive when trying to bust strippers. What pisses me off here is; our tax dollars are going to the cops salary, our tax dollars are providing them with the money for lap dances, and our tax dollars are going to prosecuting these people!

Give me a break, they can’t actually catch thieves and rapist, they can’t catch real criminals, so instead they go after easy targets. Plus, they get a lap dance out of the deal. You know what? If a stripper wants to make a little extra cash on the side, let her! Honestly, it’s her choice, she’s not being forced, and if people want to pay for it, let them. Big freaken deal!

I have an idea “Law Man” why don’t you get off the stripper couch, and do something useful! You know, like catch the person who steals cars then leaves them in the parking lot of my condo complex.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Cowboys are Beer Pussies!

I've taken a couple trips over to eastern Washington lately, I've been to Texas in the past, and I've visited various small towns and red states throughout my life. One thing I've noticed when going into a bar and asking what's on tap, the response is usually, "Coors Light, Bud, Bud Light, Miller," etc. If I'm lucky they might have Alaskan Amber, or some other brew on a single tap. One of the things about living in the Seattle is the beer selection. When I go to a bar here, it's usually microbrews or other beers with flavor. This has resulted in a certain taste for beer, and that certain taste means when I go rural, and my choices are domestic crap beer, I usually end up drinking hard alcohol. Now, I don't mind drinking hard alcohol but it does make me wonder what the hell is wrong with these people. Why do Texan's for example; who think their state does everything better and bigger than everyone else, drink stuff that taste like chilled beer urine? And when I drink my real beer, I can drink a few without getting hammered. When cowboy Joe drinks a real beer, he tends to not handle it well.

When it comes down to it, I might not know the proper way to inseminate a cow, but I do know the difference between an ESB and an IPA. In my book, I'm ok with that.

Friday, July 27, 2007

My Day

I’d like to dedicate today’s posting to my friends and former co-workers who are sitting at their desks or cubicles, typing e-mails and creating PowerPoint presentations, and of course attending conference calls. I just got back from enjoying the sun, and enjoying no children in the pool.

Next stop - off to barbeque and drink beer

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Doers and the Do-notters

There are some goods and bads that go along with living in a condo complex. The goods; I don’t have to maintain the lawn, external repairs are covered in the dues, and some utilities are covered. The bads; having neighbors right next to you, sharing the pool and hot tub, and having to pay dues.

Last year I volunteered to serve on the board and help out. I didn’t think it would really involve much work at the time. Since then, I have become the only male on the board. What this means is, I keep getting stuck doing the odd jobs. A door in the clubhouse breaks, I fix it. Light posts need replaced, I replace them. Sure we could hire someone to do the work, but that would take from the budget and potentially result in us needing to raise the dues.

I don’t have a problem volunteering except for the fact that, I pay the same in homeowners as the next person. In this case the next person, isn’t doing crap. They drive by me when I’m digging the light posts, but they don’t offer to help. They complain about other , but don’t bother coming to the meetings. And of course, they have no idea that my labor is saving them money.

Neighbors - a Starbucks card or something would be nice!

Monday, July 23, 2007

Redneck Breading

This last weekend I went to visit some family who live in Elk Washington. For those of you who don’t know, and I can imagine is most every reader, Elk is about 30 miles north of Spokane Washington. It’s not so much a town as it is a post office, VFW, and a bunch of farms.

The first night there, we went out to the local bar for a beer and a game of horseshoes. The beer choices consisted of; Natural Light, Coors Light, Miller Light, etc. For a Seattleite it’s hard to adjust from beers with flavor, to beers that taste like someone drank a lot then peed into a can, before chilling it in the fridge. Three local guys joined us at the bar, local friends of my brother and sister. All three guys looked exactly the same. Have you ever seen Larry the Cable Guy? If you have, you know what these guys looked like. They were all overweight. They had either shortly shaved beards or goatees. They had almost shaved heads, and a couple had baseball caps. They wore jeans and t-shirts. As the night went on, a couple more guys joined us, also looking exactly the same. Now back to Larry the Cable Guy. If you have seen his comedy, you know he is from the south and has a slow way of speaking. Well, these guys spoke the same! That’s right, it’s like they sat around and watched his comedy, and for some reason started to believe Elk Washington was part of the south. The difference being, their jokes weren’t funny.

As the night wore on, my sister suggested we go to The V. To me, this sounded like a hip bar in downtown Seattle. In Elk Washington, it’s the VFW. At the VFW, I almost got in a fight with one of the locals, my brother wanted to fight some guy with a guitar, and of course some of the locals were looking for a fight. Amazingly, no one actually fought, but you could tell it was how they usually spent the evenings. Everyone was drinking Natural Light, and some of the guys were peeing off the patio of "The V".

My family tends to ask me why I never really want to spend time visiting them, stories like this have a lot to do with it. I won’t even go into the rest of the weekend, were I almost got shot in the head with a 22 caliber rifle, and had to fight the urge to bust a bottle over my sister’s neighbors head.

Friday, July 20, 2007

First Time It’s Love, The Second Time It’s 20 Bucks

One of the great things about this country is free speech, and the fact that I, a blogger, can take time to comment on the hypocrisy of our elected government. One of the great things about being a liberal is the conservatives and republicans make it extremely easy, to point them out as hypocrites and ass fuckers. And by ass fuckers, I don’t mean it in the way, I say ass face, or ass hole, or even ass wipe. I mean it in the way that Florida Republican state congressman Robert Allen means it.

Allen was arrested for offering to perform oral sex on an undercover male officer for 20 bucks. Not receive, perform. Once again, a republican is arrested for offering or doing something homosexual. A republican, whose party wants to constitutionally ban same sex marriages, the party who spends more time and effort creating laws around pornographers than they do real criminals, and the man, who according to fox news sponsored a bill “that would have tightened the state's prohibition on public sex”, was caught attempting to engage in public sex. Oh, how I love America!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

“i’m” Not Surprised

For those of you with MSN messenger, you might have noticed the “i’m” tab in your messengers tab list. It’s some charity thing Microsoft is doing, “Every time you start a conversation using i’m, Microsoft shares a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes.” It’s not clear how the whole thing brakes down, but it’s easy to set up and doesn’t cost anything. And you have nine charities to select from.

On the Microsoft campus near the cafeteria they had some guy handing out flyers and barbequing in order to get employees signed up. They also have posters all over the halls in the offices.

I’ve been using instant messenger for years at different companies. As you can imagine I’ve got quite a few friends, former co-workers, and Microsoft co-workers on instant messenger. And if you haven’t guessed already by the tone in this post, not a single Microsoft person has set this up. Keep in mind it takes less than a minute. Multiple former co-workers and friends have set it up; but not a single, not one, not any Microsoft full time employees that I know, have set this up.

For fuck sake you self absorbed Microsoft pricks, there is a world outside of the Microsoft campus!!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Mustang Shelton

Sometimes when it comes to photography, I have a tendency to agree to a shoot before getting all the details, and it usually bites me in the ass. For example; a studio I occasionally work for, asked me if I wanted to assist, “photographing 400 Ford Mustangs in one shot... That's right.. Ron, the photographers uses a camera that was built in 1900 to capture it all in one photograph. It is truly amazing to see." Since I wasn’t working today, and it sounded fun, plus I could snap a few shots of my own, I agreed to do it. After agreeing to do the shoot, I found out it was at a drag strip near Sanderson Air Field in Shelton Washington. As you can see by the Google directions, it’s a two hour drive from my house.

I woke up nice and early allowing extra time for the Seattle, Tacoma, and Olympia traffic that I would need to go through. I followed the directions as provided by Google maps, only to end up down a dirt road surrounded by trees. That’s right, the directions as seen here provided by Google, do not take you to the airport, they take you to nowhere… literally! After turning around, and going to Shelton, I talk to a gas station attendant, who tells me the airport is right off hwy 101. In step four of goggles directions, it says to exit, instead of what it should say, “Continue to follow 101 until you hit the airport”.

Google, I would like to say, “fuck you very much for those wonderful directions.”

In case you are wondering; the shoot was fine, a few of the drivers were a little bitchy about it taking so long, and the drive home took twice as long, thanks to rush hour traffic. But I was able to snap a couple quick pictures while there. -Check them out-

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Just Drown Already

This morning I wake up with a pretty good day planned. I force myself out of bed by 9:00am, go run a few errands, and take care of some business. After that I come home, grab the dog and head to the beach. After a while at the beach letting the dog play in the water, I come home with a plan of spending the rest of the afternoon on this hot day, sitting by the pool. I drop the dog off, grab a towel, a magazine, and a drink. I walk towards the pool of my 40 unit condo complex, and see a bunch of kids in it. It’s still early in the afternoon, so instead I decide to wait. An hour goes by and I go back, there are still kids in the pool. This time I give up. I grab a chair, drop my stuff off, and dive in. The water feels great. I talk to one of the neighbor kids, and then sit down to read. The neighbor kid leaves, and I’m hoping the lady with the other two kids will leave so I can sit in quiet and relax. They don’t leave, and it’s obvious they aren’t planning on leaving anytime soon. The mother is so tanned, it looks like she had her skin removed and replaced with leather. Another hour and the woman will look like a giant piece of beef jerky. The two kids playing in the pool argue back and forth about toys. Except for one point when the boy goes to his mom and mentions that his skin is peeling. She doesn’t pull out a bottle of sunscreen for him, she doesn’t tell him to sit in the shade, instead she said, “Oh that’s not good.” Then the kid jumps back in the water. I was at the pool for about a half hour, and I’m pretty red skinned, so you can imagine how this family looked.

I realize as a species we feel the need to procreate and overpopulate the planet, but come on! Your arguing children are interfering with my day of relaxing in the sun, swimming, drinking, and reading. Damn leatherneck bitch!!

Monday, July 09, 2007

It's News to Them

I recently read this news article (Airline passengers dissatisfied with service) about how, “Bankruptcy can be a wake-up call for airlines” and that some of the cause might have something to do with the quality of service they provide. United and Delta rated the worst. They obviously didn’t call me for feedback, as I would have said, “yes United sucks, but American Airlines sucks even worse.” I can’t speak on Delta, I haven’t flown them in a long while. The thing that gets me cranky about this is that it’s nothing new! Come on, anyone who has flown in anything other than first class, over the past 10 years knows, the service sucks. And “this year” Delta is focusing on improving baggage handling. They are not, focusing on providing decent in flight movies and baggage handling. Not, they are focusing on improving flight attendants service skills and baggage handling. Not, they are focusing on providing enough people at the front counters to get customers through faster and baggage handling. They are just focusing on baggage handling! Well, whoop de do! I’ll get bumped, be delayed, get rude service, but hey at least my baggage will arrive at the destination.

On the plus side, my favorite airline to fly, Continental was rated as a top quality airline.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

In English This Time

Yesterday we celebrated our Independence Day here in America. I was hanging out with some friends on the night prior to the 4th, and at one point we were discussing vacations, and places we’ve been. I was asked about Thailand and the language barrier. For the most part, I was able to communicate fine. We talked about other countries, and overall found that most people spoke enough English for us to get by.

On my way to a 4th of July party last night, I passed a Dairy Queen. I decided to pull in and order a Butterfinger Blizzard. I went to the counter, placed my order and the lady said something back. I couldn’t tell what she said, due to her thick accent. “What?” I asked. She repeated her statement, “medum Buuer Figer Bizzaed.” Oh, I thought, she was repeating my order back to me.

Why is it, that I can go to another country, go into a restaurant and communicate better with the waitress, than I can in my own country? Look, if I were to move to another country, the first thing I would do, is learn the fucking language! And if I didn’t know the language, I sure as hell wouldn’t work at a job that involved communicating with others.

So on this 4th of July, let’s celebrate America, the only country in the world where, its language is not spoken by the majority of its population.

Monday, July 02, 2007

The Dog Club

Having the summer off, I thought it might be a good idea to find things to do with the dog. I found a large dog club online. Having a decent sized dog, I thought it would be good to hang out with other big dog people, provide my dog the opportunity to work off some energy. The only other times my dog gets to work off serous energy, is when my friend Brad plays find the peanut butter (inside joke to the outside world). The first meeting, we met at a bar with outside seating, so people could bring pets. This would give everyone the chance to meet, then we could decide on doggy play days, hikes, or whatever from there. I left my dog at home, and so did everyone else, except for one person.

The guy who brought the dog, put no effort into controlling his dog. It crawled all over the place, it was shedding everywhere. Out of the entire evening, not once did he tell it to “lay down,” “sit,” or “get off that person.”

There was the girl who set the group up. She lives in a small apartment in downtown Seattle with two huskies. I’m sure the dogs just love that.

And, of course there was the girl with two pit bulls. Out of the group, she actually seemed the most normal. She actually spoke about the need to be the boss of the dogs. But then again, I guess you have to be in control, when you bring two pit bulls over from your village on Hawaii.

You would think, at some point in the evening, people would talk about something besides their animals. And we did, for brief moments. But for the most part, it was all dogs. It was like a bunch of soccer moms, getting together trying to top each other with how great their kids are. “Oh my dog has the most beautiful eyes. Want to see a picture?”

About the only thing I did like about the group, was our mutual hatred for little dogs; the dogs that bark, and yelp, and are completely worthless. We all agreed the only purpose for those dogs, is chew toys for big dogs.

On the plus side, the bar was pretty damn cool; good food, drinks, and outdoor seating.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I Hate Paris

… And I’m not talking about the city. Since I’ve been on vacation, I haven’t been checking the news as often. I would have thought this could assist with avoiding some of the celebrity news. So, even though I’m not aware of what’s going on in my own city, I still have managed to stay in touch with what’s going on, in Paris Hilton’s life. Why is this? Because it’s everywhere! Adam Carolla in the morning! The Daily Show! Channels that I surf past on my way to something else! News briefs! People! Magazines! And the list goes on. Damn it people, Michael Moor was bumped from Larry King in exchange for Paris Hilton. Yes Michael is totally irritating, but in a totally different way, in a way I can actually stand.

What has this woman done? She was born rich, born stupid, stared in a shitty reality show, and an even shittier nudie video. Yet for some reason, the public can’t get enough of her. And yes I’m say “you” the public! I’m not blaming the news or the paparazzi, it’s the people who go out and buy the magazines or watch the shows, boosting their ratings when Paris news is on.

People! The woman is a snatch, we all know it, now get over it and stop encouraging these news sources to talk about it.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #19

I haven’t posted on the running joke, our police force in a while. Here is an article I found on MSN about one of the cream of the crop. Kenneth Freeman a former reserve sheriff’s deputy from my home state of Washington, apparently raped his own daughter. Then, not only did he enforce his own personal law on her, he videotaped it so other fuckwads like him could download it.

Looks just like any other cop on the road, doesn’t he?

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Well Worth The Cost of Admission

For those of you who appreciate my men’s room postings, here’s a nice picture for you. This was taken at the Museum of Natural History in New York. Lucky me - I had my camera in hand to capture this modern art exhibit on display. Luckily I only had to pee; there was another guy in the restroom that apparently had to go number 2. He walked down the row of open stalls looking for one that he could use. So, I can only imagine the others were just as bad or worse. If you’ll notice around the rim, it looks like the culprit was nice enough to try to wipe some of it up.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Remembering The Men’s Room

I was going through my e-mail this morning and I found this old posting I intended to do but never did. When I was at Microsoft, sometimes instead of posting while at work, I would e-mail it to myself to post later that evening. I must have forgotten about this one.

Today (11/29/06) I walked in the men’s room, and there are two guys using urinals, one of them is talking on his cell phone with one hand, and taking care of business with the other. I go to do my thing as the other guy flushes, washes his hands and leaves. As I’m finishing up, the cell phone guy gets done and leaves, with no hand washing. Which makes sense I guess, he probably didn’t want to get his phone wet. In this time though, another guy comes in wearing a suite and carrying a Coke can. He goes to the bathroom and flushes by the time I’m done washing. I was so distracted that it took me a little extra time. He then follows me right out the door, also not washing his hands and drinking his coke.

I always use the towel, I dry my hands off with to open the door, so I’m not touching the handle. I must been having a mellow day, because I didn’t turn around and comment on the fact that people like him are why I use a towel to open the door.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Let me tell you a little story about FedEx customer service and a delivery I received a few months back.
Tuesday, the first delivery day, the driver attempted to deliver it at 11:30am. Like most Americans I have (had) a job. I called Tuesday afternoon to see what alternatives they could offer. The person I spoke with said she could put in a “request” to have it delivered in the afternoon the next day. I figured I could leave a little early to catch the delivery.
The next day, at work before leaving, I checked the FedEx website. Of course the driver attempted to deliver it at 11:30 again. So I called, and spoke with another person. I explained my situation and he said I could go pick it up.
“Great”, I said, “Where’s that at?” He told me it was in Bellingham WA . For those of you who don’t know, I live in South Everett and work in Redmond . Which means, driving from home would be an hour, and driving from work, would be two hours. That’s right; this guy wanted me to drive over an hour to pick up a package that I paid to have delivered. I explained that driving that far was not an option. “Why don’t you send it to one of the other FedEx offices?” I asked. I knew they had a location in Bothell, because I had picked up packages at that location before, and it was on my drive home, about 15 minutes from my house. Plus they had a shipping center in Seattle , 30 minutes away from my house.
“No” He told me, they can’t send it to another location.
I asked, “What other options could he provide? He told me I could call the shipper and have them redirect it to my work. First of all, that would involve calling Hewlett Packard, which as anyone who’s ever called customer service in a large company should know, getting them to change the deliver would be a frustrating experience. I explained that to him.
This customer service agent, (I use the term customer service loosely) continued to argue with me. His options were taking a day off of work and waiting at home, or calling HP were my only two choices. After arguing with him for a little over 10 minutes, he finally said, “I can have it delivered on Saturday.”
“We’ve been arguing for 10 minutes with you telling me I had no other options and NOW you are saying I can do that!”
His response, “It hasn’t been 10 minutes.”
Yes as a matter of fact it had, I made the call from my desk phone with a timer on it. Minus the time I spent in the automated system it had been over 10 minutes. And the fact that he would argue with me about it just goes to show the level of quality service this guy provided.
At this point I escalated on the guy and spoke with someone from the customer advocates group, or whatever they call it in that company. I explained why I was upset, at the guy not offering the Saturday delivery earlier, and about his attitude. I’ve work on the phones customer service with large companies, so I have no faith that anything will come from my complaint. In the end I did get my delivery, four days later and no thanks to FedEx customer service.