Showing posts from 2008

Clean Coal?

A few days before Christmas, a Tennessee coal plants retention pond broke flooding a billion gallons of coal ash into the Emory River. The expected clean-up could take years, not to mention the amount of fish and wildlife killed. Add to that the arsenic and other chemicals dumped into the river. The Kingston Steam Plant is one of the many coal power plants, that contributes to the United States coming in second only to China in coal production. The U.S. produces half of its energy from coal, contributing to 40% of the worlds energy that comes from coal. Coal accounts for about 36 percent of the United States carbon dioxide emissions of around 6 billion tons every year, according to the Department of Energy. As well as the environmental impact that goes along with digging it from ground. This all leads to the question, is there really such a thing as clean coal?

Clean coal is a term widely used to describe new technology that is supposed to reduce the environmental impact of coal burni…

It Was The Saturday Before Christmas

Since it was asked of me to do a Christmas post, and I know how much you all love them, I held on to this one in the proverbial oven.

It was the Saturday before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, because all were at the mall

The parking lot was full, and jammed with SUV's, as soccer moms scurried and hurried, for the latest plasma TV's

People screamed and hollered with delight, as that last parking spot opened on the right

But alas it was to no avail, as they were to slow and all they got, was a BMW that beat them to the spot

With a cry and a scream, they flipped that jackass the bird, who only turned and smiled, and left with an unheard word

Inside the mall it was a great massive flurry, as the people where all in a great big hurry

They didn't care who got in the way, all that matter was to be ahead of the fray

Little boy Yates needed the latest video game, to kill all his friends with vibrate control, 3D interactive, Bluetooth headset, multi-playe…

The Education of Shelby Knox

In my constant attempt to kill time while I should be working, I watched the Documentary "The Education of Shelby Knox." And I have decided to play movie critic for the day.

The movie takes a look at a young girls attempt, to promote sex education in a conservative Texas school system. Lubbock Texas is a prime example of why abstinence only education is not an effective way to teach children about sex. Lubbock has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country, and transmission of STD rates. According to the movie, the pregnancy and STD rates can be attributed to the Lubbock school policy that teaches no sex until you get married. Teachers are only allowed to say, abstinence is the only option to prevent pregnancy.

Shelby Knox has loving conservative parents who take her to church every Sunday, and do the best they can to raise their outspoken and opinioned daughter. Shelby has taken a vow of celibacy through her church, but even though she has chosen not to have se…

Microsoft Redmond vs Fargo

I pulled this off the Seattle PI this morning. It's someone at the Microsoft's Fargo campus responding to the Redmond campus practically shutting down since it started snowing last week.

Due to normal cold weather and heavy snowfall the Microsoft Facilities in Fargo, including satellite areas (ABC, DEF, and GHI) will have NO SERVICES INTERUPTED due to Snow/Ice conditions in the local area.

Effective For: Thursday, December 18, 2008 through the end of April

Please exercise normal caution driving and walking on campus as you are more likely to be attacked by a bunny than slip and fall on the ice.

Shuttle: Campus shuttles will not be operating because there is no such thing as a campus shuttle in Fargo.

Facilities Maintenance Response: A full maintenance staff is at work on campus today.

Security: Corporate Security advises its services will remain available to the campus. If you need assistance, stop by the office and wake them up.

Parking: Park as usual, the snow plow drivers will jus…

Netflix Watch Now Maybe

A few weeks ago, I noticed that a large number of my movies in the Netflix watch now queue were marked to be removed at the first of January. At first I thought it was Sony removing it's movies because the Xbox now allows for Netflix users to watch now. But it turns out, it's all the movie companies. When will they learn, the internet is the way of the future.

- Click here for full story -

15 In a 35

Yes you rotten cunt, there is snow on the side of the road. But there is no snow on the actual road! Not only is there no snow on the road, there is no ice on the road. You want to know how I know all this, it's because I'm riding your slow moving ass on the exact same road you are on. The speed limit is 35 on this road, not 15! I don't care that you are a totally paranoid bitch who can't handle driving in bad weather. What I do care about, is that you are slowing me down! Obviously you were born and raised in Seattle because you drive just like the rest of the Seattle retards when it snows. So instead of forcing me to pass you while flipping you off, next time you are scared to drive because there is snow on the grass… Stay the fuck home!

Bush Get's New Shoes

I would imagine everyone has heard about it, and if you haven't seen it, here is the video of Bush having a shoe thrown at him. I'm not going to use this as an opportunity to dog on him, I’m actually pretty impressed. The guy has some quick reflexes. He dodged both shoes, long before the Secret Service got a hold of the thrower. If I were Bush, I’d be worried about their reaction speed if the guy actually had a weapon.

Annual Christmas Blog

"Hey, we were all looking at your blog and no Christmas blogs yet. This time last year you had already done a few about this joyful holiday you love so much."

It's true, I haven't done a post yet this year about my favorite holiday. There are a few reasons that could having something to do with it:
I haven't had the time to write a post about the holiday I haven't had the motivation to write a post about the holidayOr maybe, I've said all I wanted to say about this waste of a day in previous posts. As you mentioned reading them, then you know how I feel about the damn holiday. But, since you asked, here it is, my Christmas blog post... Shut your fruit cake filled snatch, and go hang some lights after a few eggnogs, on a really high tree, you reindeer shit soaked holiday sap.

Day Without A Gay

For those who don't know, and I would imagine most don't, today is "Day without a gay." It's the day where the gays are supposed to prove how valuable they are as employees, by calling in sick. So far, I haven't noticed any proof of value. On my drive in this morning, it took about as long as always, and in walking around the office all the gays seem to be here. Although, I haven't seen the weird guy (with the framed TV Guide of Friends in his office) walking around, who stares at me just a little to long. Beyond that guy, I would imagine most of the gays know well enough that skipping out on work and pissing the boss off, probably isn't the best way to prove a point. When I asked a gay friend of mine about it last night, he didn't even know it was "day without a gay" day.

I think this is one of the problems with the gay community, and why they haven't been getting the same recognition as the rest of us. They lack organization. Think …


I haven't felt like writing the past few days, but since I haven't posted, and to uphold my responsibility as a cranky blogger, here is my post for today…

Dear Sole Patch

To the sole patch wearing fuckwad I pass in the hallway all the time. Look you looser fag, the sole patch was only in style for about a week, and that week was ten years ago. You aren't hip and cool with your little patch of gray hair under your lower lip. You look like a mid 40's looser, who spends way to much time at the dance club picking up on women younger than the daughter you no longer see, because she decided to live with your ex-wife when you got divorced. If you really want to think you are hip, shave the patch and go buy a Corvette like the other mid-life-crisis fuckwads your age . General Motors could use the money. And you could use a car that you might accidently race into a tree one night, ridding the hallway I walk in of your lameness.

Bailout for Two

There has been a lot of talk over the past month about the big three auto companies, asking congress for a bailout similar to what the banks have received. The whole subject of bailouts pisses me off, as it does most people. If any of the rest of us were to run our businesses into the ground, we wouldn't get a thing. But, since these companies have such a large effect on the economy, they get government money. And I'm sure the big three will get something this week as they meet with congress again.

It's nice to hear that they have wised up a bit, and decided not to fly in their corporate jets to Washington this time around. And I'm impressed with the CEO of Ford who is willing to forgo his salary next year. Even though I'm sure other compensation will be available.

So on the subject of the bailout, I've decided they should provide loans to Ford and Chrysler, and let GM go bankrupt. Why am I picking on GM? First of all, they have crappy cars. At least Ford makes …

Snot Salad

This was sent from a cranky reader...

O.K so at lunch today I totally pulled a Cranky Monkey. I was at The California Pizza Kitchen a nice restaurant but nothing fancy. I was sitting at the bar by myself just watching everything that goes on in the kitchen area and the bar. The bar faces the work station for the kitchen so you can see everything that goes on while they prepare your food. So I am talking to one of the girls that works there (very cute) anyway notice quite a few times that she blows her nose. She obviously uses a Kleenex but does not wash her hands when she's done. This kind of bothers me but oh well. Then I notice while she is making my salad she wipes her nose with her hand. She not only does this once but twice while making my salad. She brings it over to me and sets it down in front of me. I look at her and ask her if I could have another one. She looks at me like I'm stupid. She said, "is that not what you wanted" I say, "yes however, I w…

Top 10 Things That Make Me Cranky About Riding the Elevator at Microsoft

10 - The countdown: One of the crappy parts about riding the elevator in the morning is how similar the floor notifications are to a timer counting down impending doom... AKA the workday.
9 - Having to spend time in a closed space with another person: In some cases with a person who might smell bad or be creepy.
8 - Spending time in a closed space with a totally hot chick: Because when she gets out, I become "that creepy guy in the elevator" she tells her co-workers about.
7 - Encountering a co-worker that I know but don't really want to talk to: We then have to make idle small talk while we stare at the floors waiting for the door to open.
6 - Riding an elevator with multiple people who know each other: If they are riding in the same elevator at the office, they are going to talk about work, and I have to hear it. Or even worse, they start talking about the cute thing their kid did last night!
5 - The chatty Cathy: This is that person who can't handle being in a closed s…

A Dreamy Morning

It's kind of messed up what we force ourselves to do every morning. We usually start it off with the sound of an alarm clock, forcing us to do something our bodies don't want to do, which is wake up. Since we are waking up earlier than we should, we then spend the rest of the morning in a half awake daze just walking through a routine. We shower, get ready, maybe eat, and drive to work. Then when we get to work, sit down, and actually wake up, we realize that we don't remember everything we did that morning. Then the anxiety kicks in, "Did I feed the dog?", "Did I shut and lock the door?", "Am I wearing pants?" All of which really sucks if you have to drive an hour to find out the answer to two of those questions. So instead, you just spend the day wondering how pissed your dog is going to be when you get home, assuming the dog is still there.

The Bathroom Police

Going to the bathroom this morning, and shortly after I walk in a guy comes in and uses the urinal next to mine. As we finish up I noticed that he didn't flush. As we wash our hands this is the conversation:

CM - you don't flush after you are done?
Guy - (acting surprised) Oh, I didn't flush?

He walks over and hits the handle. And goes to leave.

Guy - What are you, the bathroom police.
CM - No, I just don't like to piss in someone else's pee. I'm… oh what's it called…. Considerate!

He walks away, not turning around.

I hope I have a meeting with this guy someday. That way when everyone else is around I can introduce myself and say, "Oh yeah, we've met, you are the guy who doesn't flush the toilet after he is done."

Laptop in the Break Room Guy

After my hour and half drive to work this morning, I walk into the break room to make a cup of tea. Standing next to the counter with all the supplies, is a guy with his laptop open checking his e-mail, while waiting for his coffee to brew!

Really, you feel you need to get in everyone's way, and can't wait to check your e-mail because you are just that important! You need to get in MY way, just because you can't wait till your coffee brews and go to your office to check e-mail.

Laptop in the break room guy, you are the douche of the week..

Early Morning Trash

Now that the elections are over I can get back to complaining about truly important stuff. As I was lying in bed this morning, listening to the dump truck outside my house, I thought to myself that I've never lived anywhere that the dump truck didn't visit so early. I've lived in quite a few places and it seems odd that everywhere the trash is hauled away super early in the morning. Why is this? It's not like the trash is time sensitive, and if it doesn't get hauled away before noon it explodes all over the yard. These guys already have a bad enough job as it is, why is it they have to wake up super early in the morning as well? Let the poor guys sleep a bit, let the customers sleep a bit, and pick up the trash later in the day. I really don't think its going to hurt anything. And I sure as hell won't find it as irritating.

Since we are on the subject, why can't the mail get delivered a little earlier? The mail usually doesn't show up at my place til…

Proposition 8 Yes from California Voters???

This was sent to me from a cranky women out there who is as pissed as I am, that on the same night they voted for the first black president, California voters also approved Prop 8 banning gay marriage. Segregation isn't just about race, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can take the next evolutionary step as a nation.

I just don’t get it? If someone was to say to me that I could not get married because I wanted to marry a man, it would be unfathomable? I don’t understand why people fight so hard to take away basic legal rights from a committed couple? They are not doing anything to religious people, they are not trying to infringe on their legal rights for tax purposes, power of attorney laws and families. I heard they spent record numbers on this proposition for what; because religious people are scared that their beliefs are being dumped on? If two people want to get married why not just let them…who’s it hurting? I have heard arguments it’s hurting the foundation of …

The Pendulum Has Swung

Last night the country voted Barack Obama the next president of the United States. It's not often that I get impressed with this country. Usually, I'm sickened with the conservative movement holding all the sway, but I'd like to think of this as the beginning on a new era for this country, a new era that I will look forward to being the part of.

America is a country of opposites, always leaning towards one side or the other. During the 60's and 70's it was about free love, women's liberation, and of course racial equality. Beginning in the 80's the conservative movement picked up speed, and Americans became scared of the rest of the world. Last night the country has moved again. Having traveled outside of the U.S., I've experienced the shame that goes along with acknowledging the country of my origin, and listened to people speak about the war mongering and hate they perceive in us. With last nights election, hopefully soon that perception will change.



I will fully admit that I'm kind of a junky when it comes to the elections, but this year has been ridiculous. And today, it's finally over. We will pick our next president, vote on some local issues, and offices, and get to move on to something else to bitch and complain about. I can't wait…. Now go vote bitches.


Why Everyone Should See Zack and Mira Make a Porno

Because protest always helps ticket sales, everyone who reads this blog needs to go see Zack and Mira Make a Porno. Larry Miller the owner of the Megaplex Theaters in Salt Lake City Utah has decided to not show the movie due to it's content, even though the movie has a R rating and is a comedy. The movie has the same R rating as Saw V, a movie full of graphic violence, and a movie they have no problem showing.

Another sign of your typical conservative stupidity. They have no problem with graphic violence being shown to this countries children, but mild sexual content, no way do we want children to see that. It's ok to let children see the proper way to torture someone, but a Kevin Smith movie with porno in the name. Heaven forbid!!!! A parent might have to explain to a child what a porno is.... as if the child doesn't already know.

More on Yahoo News

Misconceptions about I-1000

My buddy The Rooster posted a blog today about why he isn't voting for I-1000. I already figured he wouldn't based in his religious views. In his post he pointed out the reasons he didn't agree with the law, and I responded with why he's wrong!!!!!!

Since I am such an outspoken supporter of this law, I decided to post what he wrote and my responses.

Rooster Not Fully Studying - There are no penalties for doctors who fail to submit or falsify reports of participants in the Death with Dignity act. In fact, death certificates are actually required to be falsified stating the cause of death was the terminal illness, not the lethal overdose of the “drug”. This means the initiative is safeguarding itself from being reported on and identified as being taken advantage of for potentially ill motives from less than honest people. Face it, the health industry is full of people like that.

Fact - Who gives a shit what the death certificate says. It's all clearly documented (and re…

Door Knob #1 or Door Knob # 2

Here is Washington the governor is up for re-election. We've had a difficult choice this year, because we have to decide which one we hate less. As it turns not, it is the exact same choice we had the last time around. Basically the republican candidate lost, but by such a narrow margin that he has decided to give it a another try.

Door #1 leads to our current governor Democrat Christine Gregoire. As far as I know she's probably one of the least liked Washington governors in recent history. She's shown that she will provide favors for whoever puts the most money in her pocket, and generally spouts off nonsense every chance she gets. She can barely make decisions and that's usually only when she if forced to. Beyond that, she doesn't commit to anything in an attempt to be as non-committal of a politician as possible. On the plus side, the state hasn't broken off and fallen into the ocean while she has been governor.

Door # 2 leads to challenger Dino Rossi. Rossi a…

10 Laws The Next President Should Enact to Make This a Better Country

With a little over a week to go till the next president will be elected, I decided to help the next president (Obama) out with some advice on a few new laws he should pass.

10 - Tighten the border with Mexico. I know this is in contrast to my liberal stance on most issues, but every time I go to Home Depot I feel like a riot is about to break out. I do support a guest worker program though. Come up and work, make some money, then go home to raise the 10 kids.
9 - Put a cap on the salaries of executives. I've met and worked for many upper managers and business executives, so I know they in no way shape or form do anything that justifies the salaries they receive.
8 - Increase the marriage age to 25. If you are in love and going to be together forever at 18, then you will still be in love and together at 25. I'd imagine we'd see fewer divorces if people had to wait a while.
7 - Legalize gay marriage. Look, there is no reason marriage shouldn't be between two humans who love …

Dumb NASA Very Dumb

This is why the American government is dumb, and the government agencies within it are equally dumb.

NASA is always complaining about the billions of dollars needed to fund its various endeavors. We currently fly space shuttles with empty seats, back and forth to the international space station. Yet, we don't allow tourist to pay for rides. Russia on the other hand, just sent another tourist Richard Garriott to the international space station for a mere 30 million dollars.

NASA wake up you dumb fucks and start offering this shit. Or even better, start a lottery. People across the country can buy a 1 dollar tickets, and win a ride. You'd make millions. You pick 3, so there are backups in case anyone fails, and use the money to fix Hubble.

"Tourist reaches space station"

The Triad

My buddy eccentri_city set up a Windows Live discussion forum to banter over some of the things we will be voting on here in Seattle next month. If you have a Windows Live ID and feel like participating, feel free.

Link -

Lazy Microsoft Janitors

I walked into the office this morning and something didn't seem quite right. I walked into my office and noticed something wasn't quite right, the lights were on. I usually have one light on and the other off, and I turn them both off when I leave at night. I didn't use my office at all yesterday, so at first I thought maybe the person who did left them both on.

After starting my laptop I then went to the break room to make myself a warm liquid caffeinated drink. It's at this point of walking through the halls that I realize what wasn't quite right, all the lights were on, in every office, even the empty ones. I also notice that all the garbage and recycle containers are in the hallway.

What happened is the lazy ass janitors did their job, but didn't bother turning the lights off or put the garbage containers back into the offices. I've noticed the garbage thing before. They regularly walk the halls, dump the smaller ones into the large one they wheel aroun…

Prop K

So check this out! San Francisco, the ultra liberal city that it is, has a ballot initiative that would stop cops from arresting prostitutes for selling sex. Yep, it's almost legalized prostitution. I haven't been able to find any polls showing if it's going to pass or not, but if it does my buddy B-Rad will be happy. He can save a few bucks in travel for those "work trips". Instead of going to Nevada, he can now catch a shorter flight to San Francisco.

Mormons Who Hate Butt Sex

Mercury News in California recently did an article about how the Mormon church has contributed 8.4 million dollars to promote Prop 8 in California. The proposition if passed, would add a state constitutional amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman. Interesting that a religious group that spent much of its time fighting for religious freedom is spending so much effort in fighting for restricting the freedoms of others. But then again, I guess that is what most religion is about.

Having spent some time in Utah and touring around Salt Lake City, I would equate the Mormons more to a cult than I would a religious order, I do think it's interesting that they are spending so much money on an initiative in California. You'd think they would prefer to spend that kind of money changing the Utah state constitution to define marriage as between a man and as many women as he wants. After all, it's not like they wanted to change their religious beliefs to support the one ma…

Balancing parental and professional duties‏


Religious Nuts Spout Off on I-1000

People who read this blog regularly have probably figured out by now, that religion pisses me off! There is an article in the Seattle PI today that totally points out why religion pisses me off. The article "'Playing God' or dignified death?" is all about how various religions are up in arms about I-1000 the death with dignity initiative. As you can imagine the Catholics are pouring money into the campaign fighting it, saying we are playing God by allowing people to die. Then of course there is a Jewish Rabbi arguing " that taking extraordinary measures to treat someone with terminal cancer is also prolonging the dying"

I have an idea you fucking religions fucktards! How about you stay the hell out of it, and let the person who is dying make the choice! It is not your religious duty to tell everyone else how to live their lives!

In Defense of Dignity

One more thing on the death with dignity posting from yesterday. Dan Savage a writer and editor for "The Stranger" posted a touching story about his own mothers death, that I think people voting on this issues in Washington should read.

- Click her for the article -

Yes on I-1000

Have you ever thought to yourself about what you would want to do if you has a terminal illness, suffering from massive amounts of pain, and how you would want to deal with it. Currently Oregon is the only state in the country that allows death with dignity. The idea behind death with dignity is just that, it allows someone who knows they are going to die, to go on their terms. Specifically it "allows mentally competent, terminally ill adults with six months or less to live to receive - under strict safeguards - a prescription for life-ending medication"

I know the religious nuts out there are against it saying, God should be one who makes the decision on when someone should die. Yet, they don't seem to have a problem with keeping someone on life support to keep them alive, and they don't seem to have a problem with medication to keep someone alive. If it weren't for those things, would that person be dead? Wouldn't that be God saying it's time for this pe…


I was at a bar during the debate with some friends, and one of the things we joked about was, what a good drinking game the debates would make. Apparently we weren't the only ones.

No on Prop 8

I normally don't post twice in one day, but since I didn't post much this week here is another one.

My buddy over at the Rooster Strikes did a post on a Religious extremist and gays, So I feel that I should add this link; No on Prop 8. For those who think marriage should be between two people who love each other, rather than our current BS antiquated Christian conservative beliefs. Help California fight the narrow minded fucktards. If you don't live there, donate, and if you do vote no. send the Christian conservatives back to the deep south, back woods, redneck, towns where they belong.

Low Expectations

As most of us know the vice presidential debate was last night, and now all the pundits and new agencies are talking about it. What are they saying of course is that Sarah Palin did well… Of course she did! It's not like she didn't have weeks to train, advisers, and speech writers to tell her what to say to each of the questions she knew she would be getting. Now all the conservatives out there are going to be saying, "see told you she can do the job." Give me a break. When the expectations are so low for someone, that all they need to do is show up to look good, that does not mean a person is qualified to be vice president.

No Commentary Needed, Just Watch

Screw You WAMU

Yesterday, the government seized Washington Mutual, and sold it's assets to JPMorgan Chase. That's fine as far as I am concerned with my banking, but in regards to stock, it sucks ass. I would like to thank all of the employees, management, and executives (with huge payouts) at Washington Mutual for driving the bank into the ground. The stock I bought from your company is now worthless!

I should have known not to buy it, after interviewing at that place for a job once. To summarize, I got up and walked out about a third of the way through, knowing it wasn't the kind of place I wanted to work. And now it's the kind of place that has brought down my stock portfolio.

The Birk Economic Recovery Plan

This was sent to me and athough the numbers are a little off, the idea is pretty damn good.

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.

A husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing cri…

Palin Says No To Reporters

In an attempt to seem like she's more of a politician and less like a incompetent, Sarah Palin is meeting with some U.N. leaders this week. The catch is, no one will hear how the meetings went. In an effort to make sure people don't realize what an incompetent she is, she is banning reporters from the meetings. Photographers only. She knows she looks good on camera, so photographers are okay.

The point I'm making; if this is how she is as a candidate, how controlling and closed off will she be as a vice president?

Full story on MSNBC

I'd also like to add for the people who think that women will vote for her just because she is a woman, check out Women Against Sarah Palin. A bunch of smart ladies who are voting based on the issues, and not just the gender.

Survival of the Mentally Fit

I was reading an article on MSN today about hurricane Ike. One of the things they talked about is that there are still some holdouts that won't leave Galveston and other effected areas. The other day, I read a story about how many people had to be rescued during and right after the hurricane because they wouldn't leave. Look, if these people don't want to leave don't make them. And when they start calling for help and need rescuing leave them. They made there choice to stay, so let them, and let them live with the consequences. It's called survival of the mentally fit. It's what helps us improve as a society.

Sarah and Hillary Together on SNL

It's not to often that SNL does a funny skit these days, but this season they started it off right.

Word of The Day

The N-word: This has a long standing history of offensiveness, unless you are black. If you are black it's apparently totally appropriate to use it. I also believe it's appropriate for anyone to use nigga depending on the context. For example when a skinny white boy is trying to be cool by saying, "Yo nigga beeitch what up!" but then again, I could be wrong on that.

The C-word: Apparently women find this one offensive, so it's not okay to use when referring to anyone. Unless you are British. Many Brits use this regularly when talking to friends, so it's acceptable for them. Personally I prefer snatch, as it just sounds funny when saying it.

And now the R-word: According to the American Association of People with Disabilities (AAPD) it is now offensive to say retard. They are so offended by its use in the movie Tropic Thunder, that the AAPD is attempting to boycott the movie. Which is fantastic if you ask me, because as we all know, when that happens it only pro…

The EPA Does Something

The EPA Actually did something useful . Under the Bush administration the EPA has done more harm to the environment, due to inactivity, than it has done good. So it's nice to see that according to this article on MSN they actually came out and said lawnmowers and boat motors need to reduce emissions.

Why am I talking about this, other than just an excuse to bash the Bush administration. I'll tell you why. Because I haven't posted in a few days, and don't really have anything to talk about today.... That's why. But to make it up to you my loyal cranky readers, I promise my next posting with be doubly inflammatory .

Sarah Speaks

Although I found Sarah Palin's speach at the RNC last night well spoken and entertaining, she could use some corrections in the statements she and other speakers made. Lucky for me Jim Kuhnhenn of the Associated Press already took care of it for me. Here are some highlights:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed n…

Good Call Obama

Yesterday I posted on why I think Sarah Palin was a bad choice for McCain's vice president. Today, I figured I should post about why Joe Biden was a good choice for Obama.

Experience: This is of course the area that everyone says Obama is weak in. He's been in office since the early 70's. unlike Palin who's the governor of a state about as far away as you can get, and only served a couple years in office. Biden as been around Washington long enough to know how the system works.

He's the chairman of the Foreign Relations committee: In this day and age of most countries not liking the U.S. it's a good idea to have someone who knows how to work with other countries.

Supports the rail system: Biden takes the Amtrak back and forth to work each day. In an age of ever increase airline ticket prices, rude service, and long lines, I would love to see an increased focus on the rail system and using it as an alternative. Biden co-sponsored the Passenger Rail Investment and…

Bad Call McCain

Ever since hearing that McCain and Obama were going to be the presidential nominees, I've been eagerly awaiting their choices for vice president. The reason for this, is I actually like both candidates. I've been a fan of Obama ever since I first heard of the guy. And I've always said McCain should have been the candidate the first time around, when he ran against Bush. I agree with both candidates of different issues, so for me it came down to the running mates. This last Friday McCain announced that Sarah Palin, the governor of Alaska as his running mate. I was worried that he would choose Mitt (The Ratt) Romney, but I think this choice was almost as bad, if not worse. Besides the fact that she's an obvious attempt at winning over some of the disgruntled Hillary voters, she has many, many other reason why she's a conservatives wet dream and not the right person to be that close to running the national government.

She's a hypocrite: This seems to be the party p…

Superhero Sissies

After watching the last Batman movie and thinking to myself, "what a pussy" I began to realize that it wasn't just him, and that many of our supposed superheroes are big babies. For example:

Batman: "my parents where killed, I'm traumatized, I can't have a meaningful relationship with a woman, booo hoooo." Cry me a river Batman, you are a billionaire with access to anything you want and all kinds of cool toys. Yet you spend all your time crying about it. Oh, and man up. I realize that in movie world the good guy doesn't kill the bad guy when he gets a chance, but in reality, we totally would.

Superman: He's always crying about being in love with Lois (movie) or Lana ( Smallville show) but they can't be together because he's worried that someone will hurt her. Hello! Have you noticed Superman that girls not being involved with you, end up in just as much danger. Oh and your annoying it sucks to be me, overly moral self, get over it. You ar…

Can I Have My Friday Night Back?

This was sent from one of my cranky readers. And before anyone leaves a comment; No she was not on a date with me.

My worst blind date ever…usually I screen better than this-I must have been tired last week…

Presentation: I looked hot…you didn’t even change clothes from when you worked that day-and you have a physical-labor type of job! Need I say more?

Too Much: Don’t tell me on our first date that you are filing bankruptcy then proceed to quiz me on what I know about it (what? the fuck should I know? all I know is you are screwed and it’s not going to feel good). I’m not looking for a sugar-daddy…I mean I have done it all on my very own for the past 13 years but-WOW…talk about overshare. Plus it kind of ruins the illusion of security that us girls are looking for (don’t kid yourselves girls…we want a guy who is, at least, responsible…even if we aren’t).

Future: You said that since you were filing bankruptcy, you would never be able to buy a house or be financially secure so you wa…

20Cent Fee on Plastic and Paper Bags

I posted recently about the city of Seattle proposing a 20cent fee on bags at grocery stores. Well, apparently not enough people protested it, because it passed. Starting this January every time a person gets a bag from a store in Seattle, they will be charged an extra 20 cents.

For those who think this will save the planet, it won't. it doesn't have any effect on the amount of plastic going into the dumps. People will just have to buy bags that they use for trash instead of using grocery ones. All this does is allow the government to make money, using environmentalism as an excuse. And note; if this did have to do with plastics in the dumps, then why are the also charging a fee of paper?!?!

If you want to learn more about this chicken shit new law, check out these sites and fight back. If you see a petition somewhere to get this repelled, sign it.

Start Learning Spanish White Boy

The U.S. Census Bureau is reporting that by the year 2042 good old whitey will no longer be the majority of the population. If you read the story on MSNBC, at least, that's how they make it sound. Technically that's not true. Yes, there won't be more white folk than minorities anymore, but Caucasians will still be the majority, as compared to any individual minority. So to all you conservatives sweating it out, don't worry, it's just that when all the groups are combined you won't be the top dogs.

If you want to know the largest growing population, assuming you can't guess, it's the Hispanic population. Besides all the immigration, those Mexicans are breeders. The Hispanic population is projected to double. And as anyone who has visited a fast food restaurants knows, they don't speak English all that well, so start studying Spanish, because one of these days, it might be the only way you will be able to order that Big Mac.

Cranky About Motorcycles

This week I reached the 1000 mile mark on my motorcycle, and since this is the Cranky Monkey, I decided to commemorate the occasion by posting top 10 things that make me cranky about motorcycles.

10. Not enough motorcycle parking. Come on Seattle, you want to get people out of those SUV's and into something smaller, you need to provide reasons to do so. If I could find more safe motorcycle parking downtown, I might be more inclined to ride my bike down there.
9. Helmet hair. In the morning my hair is usually still wet when I leave for work, and by the time I get to work it has dried into a disaster.
8. Large groups of riders going on rides. You are driving down the road and this large spread out group of riders is cruising along. They are spread out far enough to where it's impossible to pass them, and you are stuck waiting for a passing lane.
7. The weather. Yes riding when the weather is great, is great. But living in Seattle that's not very often. And quite often instead of…

California Taxes

This was sent from one of my cranky readers:

A friend of mine sent me some information about more taxes in California. I used to live in California and it Sucked! Not only are Californians snobby but they are always grumpy and complaining about everything but never do anything to make it better. Everyone is always way to busy and thinks someone else will step up. So my friend helped put a rally together to protest a new tax that will be on the ballot this fall. It's an increase in state taxes so they can put condom machines in the men's prison in Vacaville Cal. The prison is reporting a high outbreak of sexual transmitted diseases. So to stop this the only thing they can come up with is a safe sex campaign. For those of you who don't know Vacaville it's an armpit. The prison is high security because it holds death row inmates and the worst of the worst rapists and murderers. So here's the thing do these losers really need to have safe sex. Just let them butt fuck ea…

Rossi for G.O.P. Party

Here in Washington we are in the process of sending in our primary voter ballets. The ballot includes half a dozen names for governor, including our current governor and the person who lost last time around; Dino Rossi. Dino lost the last election in the same way Al Gore lost to Bush, by a few miscounted votes. But what Dino did differently than Gore, was he never shut up about it. He continued fighting in courts, and in the news, and everywhere else he could find. Gore actually took the higher road and when the decision was made, stepped aside. He also didn't force us to vote for or against him in the next election, like Rossi is doing this time around.

Rossi is running for governor again this fall, and this time I hope he looses badly and gets the hint to go away. I believe that a Republican governor might not be a bad idea for this state, and I dislike our current governor Chris Gregoire as much as everyone else, but don't believe that a cry baby looser is the way to go abo…

BMW vs Triumph

Let me tell you a little story about my ride into work this morning. I'm cruising down the carpool lane and there isn't a lot of traffic. Since there is little traffic I'm going well above the speed limit. 70 in a 60 zone to be exact. Some guy in a dark red BMW comes up behind me, and eventually flies past me, I'm guessing he's doing 80. I don't think much of it, as he gets in front of me. I stare at the Obama stickers on the back of his car and think, "what a jackass for ruining such a nice car", as he eventually gets held up by the truck front of him due to the traffic getting thicker. I pretty much follow him the rest of the way.

We get towards the exit and he gets over way before I do, and I eventually start getting over. By this time, I had gotten in front since I stayed in the carpool lane longer. It's crowded and it's getting close to the exit, so I have to get in front of this guy to exit. I turn my signal on and as soon as I do, he do…