Showing posts from August, 2008

Superhero Sissies

After watching the last Batman movie and thinking to myself, "what a pussy" I began to realize that it wasn't just him, and that many of our supposed superheroes are big babies. For example:

Batman: "my parents where killed, I'm traumatized, I can't have a meaningful relationship with a woman, booo hoooo." Cry me a river Batman, you are a billionaire with access to anything you want and all kinds of cool toys. Yet you spend all your time crying about it. Oh, and man up. I realize that in movie world the good guy doesn't kill the bad guy when he gets a chance, but in reality, we totally would.

Superman: He's always crying about being in love with Lois (movie) or Lana ( Smallville show) but they can't be together because he's worried that someone will hurt her. Hello! Have you noticed Superman that girls not being involved with you, end up in just as much danger. Oh and your annoying it sucks to be me, overly moral self, get over it. You ar…

Can I Have My Friday Night Back?

This was sent from one of my cranky readers. And before anyone leaves a comment; No she was not on a date with me.

My worst blind date ever…usually I screen better than this-I must have been tired last week…

Presentation: I looked hot…you didn’t even change clothes from when you worked that day-and you have a physical-labor type of job! Need I say more?

Too Much: Don’t tell me on our first date that you are filing bankruptcy then proceed to quiz me on what I know about it (what? the fuck should I know? all I know is you are screwed and it’s not going to feel good). I’m not looking for a sugar-daddy…I mean I have done it all on my very own for the past 13 years but-WOW…talk about overshare. Plus it kind of ruins the illusion of security that us girls are looking for (don’t kid yourselves girls…we want a guy who is, at least, responsible…even if we aren’t).

Future: You said that since you were filing bankruptcy, you would never be able to buy a house or be financially secure so you wa…

20Cent Fee on Plastic and Paper Bags

I posted recently about the city of Seattle proposing a 20cent fee on bags at grocery stores. Well, apparently not enough people protested it, because it passed. Starting this January every time a person gets a bag from a store in Seattle, they will be charged an extra 20 cents.

For those who think this will save the planet, it won't. it doesn't have any effect on the amount of plastic going into the dumps. People will just have to buy bags that they use for trash instead of using grocery ones. All this does is allow the government to make money, using environmentalism as an excuse. And note; if this did have to do with plastics in the dumps, then why are the also charging a fee of paper?!?!

If you want to learn more about this chicken shit new law, check out these sites and fight back. If you see a petition somewhere to get this repelled, sign it.

Start Learning Spanish White Boy

The U.S. Census Bureau is reporting that by the year 2042 good old whitey will no longer be the majority of the population. If you read the story on MSNBC, at least, that's how they make it sound. Technically that's not true. Yes, there won't be more white folk than minorities anymore, but Caucasians will still be the majority, as compared to any individual minority. So to all you conservatives sweating it out, don't worry, it's just that when all the groups are combined you won't be the top dogs.

If you want to know the largest growing population, assuming you can't guess, it's the Hispanic population. Besides all the immigration, those Mexicans are breeders. The Hispanic population is projected to double. And as anyone who has visited a fast food restaurants knows, they don't speak English all that well, so start studying Spanish, because one of these days, it might be the only way you will be able to order that Big Mac.

Cranky About Motorcycles

This week I reached the 1000 mile mark on my motorcycle, and since this is the Cranky Monkey, I decided to commemorate the occasion by posting top 10 things that make me cranky about motorcycles.

10. Not enough motorcycle parking. Come on Seattle, you want to get people out of those SUV's and into something smaller, you need to provide reasons to do so. If I could find more safe motorcycle parking downtown, I might be more inclined to ride my bike down there.
9. Helmet hair. In the morning my hair is usually still wet when I leave for work, and by the time I get to work it has dried into a disaster.
8. Large groups of riders going on rides. You are driving down the road and this large spread out group of riders is cruising along. They are spread out far enough to where it's impossible to pass them, and you are stuck waiting for a passing lane.
7. The weather. Yes riding when the weather is great, is great. But living in Seattle that's not very often. And quite often instead of…

California Taxes

This was sent from one of my cranky readers:

A friend of mine sent me some information about more taxes in California. I used to live in California and it Sucked! Not only are Californians snobby but they are always grumpy and complaining about everything but never do anything to make it better. Everyone is always way to busy and thinks someone else will step up. So my friend helped put a rally together to protest a new tax that will be on the ballot this fall. It's an increase in state taxes so they can put condom machines in the men's prison in Vacaville Cal. The prison is reporting a high outbreak of sexual transmitted diseases. So to stop this the only thing they can come up with is a safe sex campaign. For those of you who don't know Vacaville it's an armpit. The prison is high security because it holds death row inmates and the worst of the worst rapists and murderers. So here's the thing do these losers really need to have safe sex. Just let them butt fuck ea…

Rossi for G.O.P. Party

Here in Washington we are in the process of sending in our primary voter ballets. The ballot includes half a dozen names for governor, including our current governor and the person who lost last time around; Dino Rossi. Dino lost the last election in the same way Al Gore lost to Bush, by a few miscounted votes. But what Dino did differently than Gore, was he never shut up about it. He continued fighting in courts, and in the news, and everywhere else he could find. Gore actually took the higher road and when the decision was made, stepped aside. He also didn't force us to vote for or against him in the next election, like Rossi is doing this time around.

Rossi is running for governor again this fall, and this time I hope he looses badly and gets the hint to go away. I believe that a Republican governor might not be a bad idea for this state, and I dislike our current governor Chris Gregoire as much as everyone else, but don't believe that a cry baby looser is the way to go abo…

BMW vs Triumph

Let me tell you a little story about my ride into work this morning. I'm cruising down the carpool lane and there isn't a lot of traffic. Since there is little traffic I'm going well above the speed limit. 70 in a 60 zone to be exact. Some guy in a dark red BMW comes up behind me, and eventually flies past me, I'm guessing he's doing 80. I don't think much of it, as he gets in front of me. I stare at the Obama stickers on the back of his car and think, "what a jackass for ruining such a nice car", as he eventually gets held up by the truck front of him due to the traffic getting thicker. I pretty much follow him the rest of the way.

We get towards the exit and he gets over way before I do, and I eventually start getting over. By this time, I had gotten in front since I stayed in the carpool lane longer. It's crowded and it's getting close to the exit, so I have to get in front of this guy to exit. I turn my signal on and as soon as I do, he do…

Proud to Live in Seattle

Forbes recently published a story on cities with the highest inflation rate, and lucky me, Seattle is tied for the top spot. Not only do have the worst traffic, some of the highest house prices and cost of living, but we can now brag about the highest inflation rate. One of the reasons for this is, only in Seattle can they raise the prices of things and people will actually still pay for it. Other cities keep inflation down but not buying crap as the prices go up.

Well Seattle, if we are going to be bad at something , we might as well be at the top of the list…

- Full article on MSN -

Anthrax Anyone?

Remember the anthrax scare we had a few years back? Someone was mailing envelopes of it to government agencies, and the country was in a panic about the stuff? Remember how it stopped, but we never heard anything about the government catching the person? Well, that's because they didn't actually catch the person. Think about this; anthrax is a controlled substance. There are only a few places in the country that even has the stuff, and just about as many people who have access to it. The person used the postal service to mail it, which means the sending location can be narrowed down, assuming the person didn't fly across the country to drop the letters in the mail.

So this controlled substance, hard to find, few people with access, was able to be sent all over the place, and the FBI, our top cops weren't able to find the person. They did accuse one person of it, who ended up not being the right guy and ended up suing the FBI for about 5 million dollars.

Well for those of…