10 Laws The Next President Should Enact to Make This a Better Country

With a little over a week to go till the next president will be elected, I decided to help the next president (Obama) out with some advice on a few new laws he should pass.

10 - Tighten the border with Mexico. I know this is in contrast to my liberal stance on most issues, but every time I go to Home Depot I feel like a riot is about to break out. I do support a guest worker program though. Come up and work, make some money, then go home to raise the 10 kids.
9 - Put a cap on the salaries of executives. I've met and worked for many upper managers and business executives, so I know they in no way shape or form do anything that justifies the salaries they receive.
8 - Increase the marriage age to 25. If you are in love and going to be together forever at 18, then you will still be in love and together at 25. I'd imagine we'd see fewer divorces if people had to wait a while.
7 - Legalize gay marriage. Look, there is no reason marriage shouldn't be between two humans who love each other. Gays should be allowed to get married and have a 50% divorce rate just like the rest of us. As long as they are over 25.
6 - Change the tax law so that people with children, when they get their tax refund each year, a portion of that has to go to the local school that the child attends. Why is it that homeowners with no children have to pay for the education of a family of 5. A family that gets a huge tax refund check each year for having so many children!
5 - If you are on welfare, you have to be on birth control. And not the pill kind, but the kind that gets shot in your arm, so you can't "accidently" forget to take the pill and get pregnant.
4 - Speaking of children, before we end up like China, enact a 2 child per family law. What the hell do people need so many kids for anyway? The religious rights overwhelming need to have babies is increasing the strain on this countries natural resources.
3 - And speaking of taxes, a flat tax across the board. I agree with the rich on this, just because someone makes more they shouldn't have to pay more.
2 - Reduce the legal drinking limit to 18. if you are old enough to kill and die for your country, you should be allowed to go get drunk the night before you ship out.
1 - Legalize marijuana. Come on people, this is not any worse for you than alcohol. When was the last time you heard of a guy beating his wife because he smoked to much weed. Lets take that money and use it to fight real crime and fill the jails with real criminals.

- I'm actually going to add one more to the list. An across the country Death with Dignity laws. We have I-1000 on the ballot this year in Washington. This should be moved from a state level law and just made legal nationally.

Comments

Rooster said…
#6 is a genius idea. That's coming from a guy that would still have to pay for the educational taxes. It's similar to the fact that I have to pay taxes that pay for welfare mommas that abuse the system. I just shouldn't have to!

#5 wouldn't have to be implemented because #4 would pre-emptively solve it.

#2 and #1: All I can say is AMEN! I'm glad those are the top of list. I don't smoke weed anymore, but I still think it should be legalized.

In fact, to further your point: What's the worst that will happen when someone gets piss drunk? They'll kill someone. What's the worst that will happen if someone is ripped out of their gord? They'll steal a bag of Cheeto's and try to get away at 5mph (yes, 5), and then pull over a block down the road because they forgot where they are.
CM said…
Mmmmmmm Cheeto's...