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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Snot Salad

This was sent from a cranky reader...

O.K so at lunch today I totally pulled a Cranky Monkey. I was at The California Pizza Kitchen a nice restaurant but nothing fancy. I was sitting at the bar by myself just watching everything that goes on in the kitchen area and the bar. The bar faces the work station for the kitchen so you can see everything that goes on while they prepare your food. So I am talking to one of the girls that works there (very cute) anyway notice quite a few times that she blows her nose. She obviously uses a Kleenex but does not wash her hands when she's done. This kind of bothers me but oh well. Then I notice while she is making my salad she wipes her nose with her hand. She not only does this once but twice while making my salad. She brings it over to me and sets it down in front of me. I look at her and ask her if I could have another one. She looks at me like I'm stupid. She said, "is that not what you wanted" I say, "yes however, I watched you make it and for health reasons I would love to have a new one." The manager hears me and comes over. I explain to him the issue. I try to do this in a private matter but the girl (who is not cute anymore) keeps butting in. He apologizes and makes me a new one himself. I should have got it to go because the entire time I ate she stared at me.

So disgusting. I don't want her snot in my food. What happened to washing your hands after touching your face.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Top 10 Things That Make Me Cranky About Riding the Elevator at Microsoft

10 - The countdown: One of the crappy parts about riding the elevator in the morning is how similar the floor notifications are to a timer counting down impending doom... AKA the workday.
9 - Having to spend time in a closed space with another person: In some cases with a person who might smell bad or be creepy.
8 - Spending time in a closed space with a totally hot chick: Because when she gets out, I become "that creepy guy in the elevator" she tells her co-workers about.
7 - Encountering a co-worker that I know but don't really want to talk to: We then have to make idle small talk while we stare at the floors waiting for the door to open.
6 - Riding an elevator with multiple people who know each other: If they are riding in the same elevator at the office, they are going to talk about work, and I have to hear it. Or even worse, they start talking about the cute thing their kid did last night!
5 - The chatty Cathy: This is that person who can't handle being in a closed space in silence so they create idle chatter. "that traffic was nice this morning." or, "Sure hope the weather is going to be nice this weekend." How about "shut the fuck up bitch, I don't know you, and don't want to talk to your ass."
4 - The rider who only needs to go one floor: We are in a three floor building, and you can't walk your lazy ass up or down one flight of stairs. So now I have to wait for the elevator to stop on your floor before it gets to mine.
3 - The person who talk on their cell phone the whole time: The conversation usually consists of, "Can you hear me? I just got on the elevator so the phone is cutting out. Hold on. Can you hear me now. Hello. How about now? Hold on just a second, I'm almost to my floor."
2 - The person who checks e-mail from their Blackberry: What, you are so important that you can't wait 10 minutes, to get up to your desk and check form your computer?!?! Well guess what jackass, you aren't!
1 - The laptop person: Even worse than the cell phone person is, the person who opens their laptop and starts checking e-mail. How about I smack the thing out of your hands and kick you in the balls instead.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Dreamy Morning

It's kind of messed up what we force ourselves to do every morning. We usually start it off with the sound of an alarm clock, forcing us to do something our bodies don't want to do, which is wake up. Since we are waking up earlier than we should, we then spend the rest of the morning in a half awake daze just walking through a routine. We shower, get ready, maybe eat, and drive to work. Then when we get to work, sit down, and actually wake up, we realize that we don't remember everything we did that morning. Then the anxiety kicks in, "Did I feed the dog?", "Did I shut and lock the door?", "Am I wearing pants?" All of which really sucks if you have to drive an hour to find out the answer to two of those questions. So instead, you just spend the day wondering how pissed your dog is going to be when you get home, assuming the dog is still there.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Bathroom Police

Going to the bathroom this morning, and shortly after I walk in a guy comes in and uses the urinal next to mine. As we finish up I noticed that he didn't flush. As we wash our hands this is the conversation:

CM - you don't flush after you are done?
Guy - (acting surprised) Oh, I didn't flush?

He walks over and hits the handle. And goes to leave.

Guy - What are you, the bathroom police.
CM - No, I just don't like to piss in someone else's pee. I'm… oh what's it called…. Considerate!

He walks away, not turning around.

I hope I have a meeting with this guy someday. That way when everyone else is around I can introduce myself and say, "Oh yeah, we've met, you are the guy who doesn't flush the toilet after he is done."

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Laptop in the Break Room Guy

After my hour and half drive to work this morning, I walk into the break room to make a cup of tea. Standing next to the counter with all the supplies, is a guy with his laptop open checking his e-mail, while waiting for his coffee to brew!

Really, you feel you need to get in everyone's way, and can't wait to check your e-mail because you are just that important! You need to get in MY way, just because you can't wait till your coffee brews and go to your office to check e-mail.

Laptop in the break room guy, you are the douche of the week..

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Early Morning Trash

Now that the elections are over I can get back to complaining about truly important stuff.

As I was lying in bed this morning, listening to the dump truck outside my house, I thought to myself that I've never lived anywhere that the dump truck didn't visit so early. I've lived in quite a few places and it seems odd that everywhere the trash is hauled away super early in the morning. Why is this? It's not like the trash is time sensitive, and if it doesn't get hauled away before noon it explodes all over the yard. These guys already have a bad enough job as it is, why is it they have to wake up super early in the morning as well? Let the poor guys sleep a bit, let the customers sleep a bit, and pick up the trash later in the day. I really don't think its going to hurt anything. And I sure as hell won't find it as irritating.

Since we are on the subject, why can't the mail get delivered a little earlier? The mail usually doesn't show up at my place till after 4:00. Just like I've never had the trash hauled away later than 7:30, I've never had the mail show up before 3:00.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Proposition 8 Yes from California Voters???

This was sent to me from a cranky women out there who is as pissed as I am, that on the same night they voted for the first black president, California voters also approved Prop 8 banning gay marriage. Segregation isn't just about race, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can take the next evolutionary step as a nation.

I just don’t get it? If someone was to say to me that I could not get married because I wanted to marry a man, it would be unfathomable? I don’t understand why people fight so hard to take away basic legal rights from a committed couple? They are not doing anything to religious people, they are not trying to infringe on their legal rights for tax purposes, power of attorney laws and families. I heard they spent record numbers on this proposition for what; because religious people are scared that their beliefs are being dumped on? If two people want to get married why not just let them…who’s it hurting? I have heard arguments it’s hurting the foundation of marriage for families. What about the children in which are from same sex parents? What about them. I can only hope with Barack Obama, freedom for every American citizen can be granted within our lifetimes.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The Pendulum Has Swung

Last night the country voted Barack Obama the next president of the United States. It's not often that I get impressed with this country. Usually, I'm sickened with the conservative movement holding all the sway, but I'd like to think of this as the beginning on a new era for this country, a new era that I will look forward to being the part of.

America is a country of opposites, always leaning towards one side or the other. During the 60's and 70's it was about free love, women's liberation, and of course racial equality. Beginning in the 80's the conservative movement picked up speed, and Americans became scared of the rest of the world. Last night the country has moved again. Having traveled outside of the U.S., I've experienced the shame that goes along with acknowledging the country of my origin, and listened to people speak about the war mongering and hate they perceive in us. With last nights election, hopefully soon that perception will change.

Barack is a politician after all, so change won't be as sweeping as some expect or anticipate. All the president can do is set the standard, he leads and allows those in his administration to manage this country is a positive or negative light. We've seen with the Bush administration what the negative light looks like. With the Obama administration, I have faith in a brighter outlook. With this elections, I'd like to expect less of the fear mongering our elected officials have used over the past, and maybe a little more hope. After all, hope was the spirit of his campaign.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


I will fully admit that I'm kind of a junky when it comes to the elections, but this year has been ridiculous. And today, it's finally over. We will pick our next president, vote on some local issues, and offices, and get to move on to something else to bitch and complain about. I can't wait…. Now go vote bitches.