Top 10 Things That Make Me Cranky About Riding the Elevator at Microsoft

10 - The countdown: One of the crappy parts about riding the elevator in the morning is how similar the floor notifications are to a timer counting down impending doom... AKA the workday.
9 - Having to spend time in a closed space with another person: In some cases with a person who might smell bad or be creepy.
8 - Spending time in a closed space with a totally hot chick: Because when she gets out, I become "that creepy guy in the elevator" she tells her co-workers about.
7 - Encountering a co-worker that I know but don't really want to talk to: We then have to make idle small talk while we stare at the floors waiting for the door to open.
6 - Riding an elevator with multiple people who know each other: If they are riding in the same elevator at the office, they are going to talk about work, and I have to hear it. Or even worse, they start talking about the cute thing their kid did last night!
5 - The chatty Cathy: This is that person who can't handle being in a closed space in silence so they create idle chatter. "that traffic was nice this morning." or, "Sure hope the weather is going to be nice this weekend." How about "shut the fuck up bitch, I don't know you, and don't want to talk to your ass."
4 - The rider who only needs to go one floor: We are in a three floor building, and you can't walk your lazy ass up or down one flight of stairs. So now I have to wait for the elevator to stop on your floor before it gets to mine.
3 - The person who talk on their cell phone the whole time: The conversation usually consists of, "Can you hear me? I just got on the elevator so the phone is cutting out. Hold on. Can you hear me now. Hello. How about now? Hold on just a second, I'm almost to my floor."
2 - The person who checks e-mail from their Blackberry: What, you are so important that you can't wait 10 minutes, to get up to your desk and check form your computer?!?! Well guess what jackass, you aren't!
1 - The laptop person: Even worse than the cell phone person is, the person who opens their laptop and starts checking e-mail. How about I smack the thing out of your hands and kick you in the balls instead.

Comments

skfocken said…
I would totally check my crackberry in the elevator! Then I look busy and no one will talk to me...I also hate idle talk with people I don't know or can't stand.
But...it seems that the CM hasn't ever had a good elevator experience. That's too bad...remind me to help you change that. ;)
Rooster said…
Ah man, I'm totally #5. I just talk because of the awkwardness. I fail.
EC said…
#4 pisses me off bad! When they use the elevator to go from one floor to another with the stairs in PLAIN view while I'm trying to get from the basement garage to 3, I just want to follow them out and punch them in the face and then run back into the elevator before the door closes..