Freak Out!

Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, we're all going to die! Swine flu has made it to Europe! Stop traveling, stop going to work and school, stop the presses! Even though no one in the U.S. has died from it, we all need to hit the streets in riots! The CDC has raised the alert level to 4!!!! Be like the Russians and Chinese, and stop eating beef from California. Even though there is no relations between beef and swine flue, we need to stop eating it anyway… Vegetarians had it right all along. We should all just stop eating any kind of meat! It's called swine flue after all, so take all that bacon and burn it to kill the viruses that don't exist in it. And no matter how good it smells while burning it, don't eat it or you will die! You will be the first person in the United States to actually die from swine flu, if you eat bacon. Get out the masks, get out the antibacterial soap, and whatever you do don't make love you your spouse, he/she is probably already infected and doesn't even know it…. Whatever you do, don't trust anyone, kiss anyone, or even be in the same room with anyone! Espically don't trust Obama, I'm sure this is somehow his fault. In fact it all probably started from his dog! The Republican party was right! We should have voted for McCain. Oh, nooooo!!!!

Comments

Seattle Freeze said…
You make me laugh...and I agree with your sarcasm. :D

I was out sick yesterday and can you guess how many people asked me if I had the 'swine flu' this morning?

Uh...if I did, do you think I'd be HERE?!? Fuck no.

Pretty fucking lame.
CM said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
CM said…
You should tell people it's not the swine flu that you have but the ebola virus
Seattle Freeze said…
Actually it's a mix of small pox, sars and the hantavirus.
Which reminds me...we should hang out! :P
CM said…
Totally... except for I think i'm busy that night.
Seattle Freeze said…
What?!? Ok... I'll go watch lesbians on skates by myself. Hmmm...maybe I'll even take one home. ;) Sure you don't want to join?
CM said…
Hmmm, now that I think of it, smallpox might not be that bad.
Seattle Freeze said…
That didn't take much convincing! ;)