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Friday, August 31, 2012

50 Shades of Crap

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Everyone around the office, online, and on the bus has been talking about 50 Shades of Grey as if it is some kind of fantastic racy novel. Ohhhh so erotic. So, I decided to break down and read it, and luckily I didn’t actually pay for it as I would have been pissed if I had.

To be honest, which is why I have a anonymous blog, it has got to be one of the worst pieces of writing I have ever attempted to read. And I say attempt because after forcing myself halfway through it I gave up and deleted it from my kindle. Also thankful that I didn’t pay for the download. The characters are one dimensional and stereotyped. The dialog is crap, and the porn aspect of it is terrible. “Oh baby, cum for me baby.” I wouldn’t consider myself an expert on a well-crafted novel, or porn, but I have read enough to know what good is, and 50 Shades of Grey is none of it.

The popularity of this book can lead me to only one conclusion: people are dumb and have to taste! And they have no sense of sexual adventure, as this crap turns them on. And I’m not saying crap in the sense that a red room with sex swings and ropes offends me. I’m saying crap because what happens in the novel sucks big harry grey balls. And while on a trip to Germany, I realized it’s not just Americans with bad taste in books, it’s everyone. I was walking past a bookstore and they had a huge display of the German version of the novel. When I think sexually adventurous I don’t think of Germany. Sorry Germans, but the beds in your country are way too hard for a romping sexual adventure. But I’ll be in Frankfurt for another day, so if a couple hot German chicks want to prove me wrong, feel to respond.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Facebook Sucks!

You might think I wrote this, as I also have a hate, hate relationship with Facebook. But I didn't. This Cranky Contribution is from my gal pal Chiwi

My biggest pet peeve with Facebook is not the random thoughts of everyone, including myself, being posted at all hours of the day.  I can easily ignore them or even better, if I really don’t want to see someone’s posts because I only accepted them as a friend out of pure peer pressure, I can totally hide their information from my news feed.  They, in turn, can do the same with my postings. 

Further, I’m not even bothered by the one million notifications a day I get because, again, that’s something that I can pretty much control by changing my account settings.  They were nice enough to update Facebook to give you that option.  I just haven’t gotten around to it so from time to time, I do get annoyed but it’s my own fault.

Nope, the lack of privacy and the easy access to my personal information are also not the reasons why I’m bitching and moaning.  When I joined Facebook, I understood what I was getting into and I don’t share anything that I don’t want to bite me in the ass, say if I ever try to seek a political career perhaps.  Plus to some extent, you can control the privacy of your page though perhaps not your whole life history.

What bugs me about Facebook may actually seem pretty silly to some but it’s always in the back of my mind.  They’ve forced us to accept the new “timeline” feature, they keep coming up with updates left and right, apps, surveys, pokes and prods but they can’t tweak it just a little so a person can have background music to their page.  I don’t know why this irritates me so much but it does.  This is why I liked MySpace better.  I was able to add a profile song that came up when anyone opened my page in addition to a series of more songs that would play throughout the time that someone had my profile open.  But alas, I was forced to move to Facebook as more friends and family migrated their way there.

For someone, like myself, who finds the music she listens to representative of her personality and moods, it seems pretty silly for Facebook to leave something like that out…since your profile page is supposed to be a personal reflection of who you are and how you define yourself.  Unless I add apps or videos one by one, I can’t just have a song (or series of songs) play while someone is looking at my profile but by God, I have a new Timeline with a cover photo of one random day in my life.  That sure is a reflection of who I am.  

I’ve closed my Facebook account several times in protest of many things about it that I dislike but then I miss all the good stuff that friends and family post.  So even though I probably won’t close my account anymore as I’ve gotten myself in the habit of only checking it a few times a day (unless I’m deathly bored as was the case today) I think Facebook sucks!  

By the way, I know you can add apps so as to add your music but that annoys me as well!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The i Generation

Generation iAt some point in time we started to give each generation a name. It seems to me that it started with the beats, then worked its way to the baby boomers, generation X, and then Y because we ran out of original ideas for generational names. Although the i generation is the more obvious choice.

i use my iPhone to update my Facebook page with what i just had for dinner, so that someone else can read it on their iPad. Marketing has picked up on how important i am as they don't need to capitalize anymore, at least that is what executives at AT&T thought when changing the name to at&t so as to appear more relevant to the i generation. Would a 15 year old actually know what the original AT&T stood for, and if they did would they have any idea what a telegraph actually is?

i used to be able to attend a concert without seeing half the audience on their iPhones throughout the show. There was a time that we could visit a friend who valued sound quality over convenience when listening to music, but at least i can plug my iPod into the stereo system now and play the latest Call Me Maybe parody. When was the last time you spent time with someone who didn't respond to text messages all night or a Words with Friends game? Or are you that person?

i have my smart phone, my iPod, and a Facebook page. But i can leave my phone in the other room and not feel the need to respond to a text until the next day. i can watch a movie without letting everyone know which theater I'm at by "checking in" on Facebook. And most importantly, i can take a shit without tweeting it to all my friends, because the world doesn't need to know every time i have a bowel movement. Call me old school. I prefer to blog about my life. Because I am a member of the X generation, representing the days of full sentences and capitalization.

Monday, August 06, 2012

Mohawk Guy

Further proof of what is wrong with this country. The latest Mars rover lands and the first link on CNN, or when searching google images about the rover is a guy with a mohawk.

Billion dollar science project on another planet, or some due with a mohawk?