I Hate MySpace

The super bowl was yesterday and I should probably complain about how the Bears were an embarrassment to Chicago, especially after beating the Seahawks. The Seahawks are probably better at playing in the rain then Chicago or Indianapolis. I have bigger fish to bitch about today, MySpace.

About a year ago, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and set up a MySpace account. I did the usual, added some friends, customized it a little, and filled out cheesy answers to the generic questions. Within a week, an ex-girlfriend found me on it. At first I thought it was some girl just starting a conversation but after looking at her picture and the conversation I realized who it was. During the years since I last saw her, she has gained some weight and added more tattoos to her body, and basically looks like a big dike. Since that time, I’ve had a buddy from high school, friends and friends of friends, and even one girl who I only met once at a restaurant 10 years ago, who now lives halfway across the country. With the exception of one friend who now lives in New Zealand, and that’s really more of an excuse to go visit someday.

So people!! What I’m saying here is, if you are someone I used to know, in any way shape or form, don’t find me on MySpace. I don’t care what you have been up to since, I don’t care where you are living, and I don’t care about any catching up you would like to do. Actually, I have two exceptions to that rule. If you are a totally hot chick I used to know and are still totally hot, you can e-mail me. Or if you are someone who has since come into a large some of money and you want to share it with me. Those are the only two allowed, otherwise fuck off and get a life that doesn’t involve catching up on old times.