On Producing Humans

This weeks cranky contribution comes from my super sexy gal pal, Quorri Scharmyn

And BTW, I totally agree with her rant here...

Two things: stop assuming I am a baby factory and stop expecting me to be super stoked that you are having ten trillion of the disgusting creatures.

I am a woman, I am intelligent, I am attractive, and all of my reproductive capabilities would have been in order had I not chosen to dismember them. I have a successful career and am financially stable. Before I became voluntarily sterilized, people assumed that these qualities meant that I would have children. The part that is retarded about this is that no one assumes the same about men. No one walks up to a man of a similar situation and asks, “So, when are you going to have children?” Plus, when men choose to get sterilized, doctors generally don’t tell them they can’t do it because they aren’t married yet or haven’t had children yet. This is so very messed up. It took me seven years of pleading and begging and searching and dealing before I found a doctor who would perform sterilization on me. Every man I’ve ever talked to who has done the same exact procedure has found one on the first try.

And, seriously, when you ask me when I’m going to have kids and I tell you never, stop responding with some version of, “You’ll change your mind,” with that mental, supposedly knowing look that is often paired with a wink. No, I won’t change my mind, you blinking moron. Fifteen straight years of being absolutely solid on this matter has proven that. And I’m pretty sure my fallopian tubes are made up even more than my mind is, anyhow, so it wouldn’t matter even if I did somehow decide that slobbering bags of poop production were the best thing for my future. Besides, let’s get real, you telling me that I will change my mind about not having kids is like me asking you, “So, when did you decide to get pregnant? Oh, well, you’ll change your mind, don’t worry. It’ll happen, sooner or later.” That would be rude. That would be in bad taste. Just like it is when you do it.

Why are women supposed to have baby production as their main goal in life, anyway? Why is it so strange to so many people that I think letting a literal parasite take over my entire body and every single, vital system I have a disgusting prospect? Why is it so strange to people that I truly love my life as it is and absolutely never want to give up the majority of my time, money, and peace of mind for a little sack of flesh that will thanklessly produce mounds of fecal matter and sputum for me to dispose of, only to then develop the ability to speak and think for itself so that it can spite me intentionally? No thanks. Plus, I like my girly parts firm and intact not stretch marked, ripped up, and worn out.

Important side note: my nipples are for sucking only sexually, not for feeding other humans.

So, it goes almost without saying that I am also not stoked when other people decide to ruin their bodies, minds, bank accounts and self esteem in order to be sick for nine months and then miserable for another 18-24 years. Yay for you, if you’re doing it, but don’t expect me to be as enrapt as you are by the little thing’s developmental successes which, by the way, every single human on the face of the planet has also likely experienced. Your child is only special and wonderful to you, the rest of us are bored shitless by it and want you to shut up.

Last thought: babies add “9,441 metric tons of CO2 to a parent's collective carbon footprint.” (Huffington Post) That means that, before you call me selfish for wanting to live my life for myself instead of for a whiny brat raised in a society that forces it to be an entitled, vapid, shallow idiot, think about who is really being selfish. You will be someone who gave up the planet’s health to indulge your own personal desire to pass on your flawed genetics, I will be someone who led a happy life and contributed less to the planet’s demise. Who is selfish now?




Comments

Anonymous said…
Or, maybe you're just a bitch. Raising a child is the most rewarding thing that any one can do. Just because you're defective and don't want to do what humans are meant to do, doesn't mean all these other people are thoughtless, mindless, douchebags.

You are the exception, not the rule. Don't be offended when people suggest you might change your mind on having children. They aren't being dicks and trying to offend you, they are suggesting that you might be interested in producing something that you can create the ultimate bond with and experience true unconditional love.

All those things you said children are, you were, but maybe your just upset because even though you have a dispensable income and a whorish, non-producing reproductive sytem, will never create your own legacy - to be fruitful and to carry your own beliefs.

Speaking of, as for your "after thought", don't get all high and mighty because you think you are doing the earth a favor by not having kids. Because you aren't producing kids, you could very well be preemptively stopping the creation of a life who leads a major influence to help this planet, a life that could be so impactful and influential that it could continue righting the wrongs that our wasteful, earth-deteriorating history has caused.

But no, you'd rather have your money and be selfish, and let the people who don't care about the planet keep reproducing. Way to go you douchebag. Your little afterthought may have helped prevent a small carbon footprint in the short term, but what could your decision have resulted in in the long term? Ever see Idiocracy? Ya, stupid movie, but almost prophetic in the sense that people like you, that could potentially produce some very bright children that could do some good this world, choose not to because of your desire to have non-consequential vag and a career that ultimately means nothing in the grand scheme of things allows for idiots and morons to overpopulate the earth and destroy it.

I, for one, will at least try to raise my children to offset your selfishness and ignorance. It sure would have been nice to have your kids by their side, fighting the good fight.
Quorri Scharmyn said…
You might be right, my vagina and my reproductive system may have produced the child who saved humanity from itself; in effect, I have truly destroyed the entire planet. God, I really suck. Our entire future is just shit now and it was so bright and hopeful before....what have I done?

And, I think you also may be right that my career as a teacher, helping children to become better than the uncritical, mindless sea of idiots that society otherwise forces them to become, is a "career that ultimately means nothing in the grand scheme of things." Thank you for helping me to see that truth, you're like a really insightful guide through the vague mists and stormy seas of a protestant-based values system, good job.

I'm glad you will raise children who will be as bold as you to anonymously try to sway the lost people like myself who ignorantly attempt to make a dent in society's system of sexual inequality and oppressive value system through leaving long comments, full of assumptions and far-sighted ideals which are not at all awash in the very oppression people are discussing...

Idiocracy is a great movie and it's obvious you got the only message, that idiots have babies and smart people don't, and not any of those other messages that don't really count, like that maybe people should just slow down their rampant production and stop treating the world like a mini-mart. Way to see through that mix of images and sounds and draw out only one facet. Most things in life can be reduced thusly and you're obviously brilliant to have done it here.

I'll be so happy for you when you get to see that your children will become exactly what you've crafted them to become, never disappointing you or doing what other children do which is exactly opposite of what their parents dream for them. And I'm sure if you succeed in getting them to live out your own personal ideals and dreams they won't be at all repressed or resentful of you for molding them so tightly. Really, I'm very proud of you.

Thank you for opening my eyes, anonymous friend, what would I do without you? Now I can finally stop being such a selfish bitch and make babies not because it will make me happy, but because it might produce the savior of the universe. Thank God for me!
CM said…
Quorri hit on some interesting points in her original post here, and as a person who has spoken out many times on over population, I enjoyed that she used it along with many other reasons in her decision not to have children. But, what I also got out of this post was her irritation at so many people trying to tell her how to live her life. As an adult, as a woman, and as a human being she should be allowed to make her own decisions on how to live her life and what to do with her body. Yet so many people in this country feel the need to try to force their beliefs on her.

What would have been nice to see in a response by anonymous is an informed opposing point of view. Maybe a discussion on the advantages of having children and possibly a, “I might not follow along with your point of view, but I can respect it, because you have the right to make that decision.” Instead what anonymous decided to do is start her response with insults, proving the point that the movie Idiocracy (she referenced) was making: stupid people keep having children and smart people are choosing not to.
Anonymous said…
I have no problems with you not wanting to have children, I never really was to keen too have one myself. I now do have one and all I can say that fullfillment it brings is inconparable to anythign else and absolutely can't be explained to a childles person. And I do not mean to patronising here, people were telling me thigns about kids and before I had my own it was just white noise. I still don't particuraly care about other people's kids but do have much more respect for all parents.

Where I do disagree with you, and where you statement lost all its merit is turning it into a sexist thing. Men can't have children on their own, period, And its a good thing cause if you could get one through say masturbation there would be no space left onthe planet.

I'm not really sure where would we end up as a human race if we all stoped having children. It is every animal's instinct to reproduce and pass on the genes.

I have no issue with your decision and don't particulary care about your motives. Unfortunately you just came out like one of the people you despise. And while i do not thing there is any shame in it, it is sort of an easy way out.
Quorri Scharmyn said…
All sarcasm aside, now we're actually getting somewhere. I really appreciate your choice to start engaging in dialogue about this.

I have a lot of friends with children and, while I can't begin to empathize with their choices, I can sympathize with the concept that children provide meaning for people and that they can also provide important, social, and emotional bonds and development, as well. So, I'm happy for people who find those things in child-rearing.

I never equated every single aspect of my argument to sexism, though sexism is truly intertwined with some of the issues I brought up. For example, doctors being much more willing to sterilize men than women and people assuming women should choose to have babies while men are left off the hook, in general, as far as people's expectations about whose choice and responsibility child rearing is.

I don't understand your comment about men not being able to choose to have children. Of course they can. You're right that they can't choose to do it on their own, but neither can women, so I'm pretty lost as to what your point is here.

Finally, I am sure where we would be if everyone decided to never have children: extinct. It's pretty obvious. Which is why I would never suggest that every human choose to get sterilized.

However, it truly is easier to not have them, for me, you're right! I am taking the easiest of routes, on this issue! I love it! The same can be said for someone who has a different point of view and can't wait to have as many children as possible, though. They also are choosing the easy way out-- not having children would be tortuous for them and would be the hardest thing to choose.
Rooster said…
Wait, I'm confused. Let's get to the real core issue here... Are the two "anonymous" posters the same person or different people? Damn anonymous option. Secondly, what is the plural form of anonymous? Is there one?

Also, CM is totally right... How about a respectful difference of opinion? People are freakin' brutal on the WWW. Don't act so tough behind the anonymous facade.
Quorri Scharmyn said…
Good point, I assumed that the anonymous was the same person. Bad assumption, I realize.

Oops :)