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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The 4 Crazy Stages of Women

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After many years of field study, conversations with others, both male and female, I've come to a conclusion that all women are some sort of crazy.

Stage 1: Nuts
This unfortunately is the smallest percentage of women and if you can find a woman who is just nuts, marry her. She might get a little emotional sometimes, but everyone does that at points. And that's more or less all you will have to deal with. At this stage they are aware enough to admit that all women fall somewhere on the crazy scale. They get along with their parents, and might even be friends with an ex-boyfriend because "it didn't work out" but they wont hate him.

Stage 2: Crazy
This is where the majority of women fall. This are the ones who get emotional for no reason, get mad at you for being the same person you were when you met her. But, given a little time you might learn to deal with her. These are the women you hear guys talk about when they just admit to being wrong about something even though they weren't, just because it's not worth the effort to deal with her. They won't let things go, and bring up stuff from years ago when they get mad at you. At this stage they will start arguing with you when you call them crazy because they think they are not. And they most likely have issues with at least one of their parents.

Stage 3: Batshit Crazy
Women who are batshit crazy should be seeing a therapists and possibly medicated. They will flip out for no reason. They will make stuff up about you when talking to friends, they will assume you are cheating when you are not, and they definitely don't trust you even though you have done nothing. They certainly have issues with at least one of their parents, most likely the mother, and all of their ex-boyfriends were bad. These are the women who will tell you how they were molested, raped, or have some other kind of emotional trauma on the first date. These women might stalk or harass you after a breakup, so keep that in mind if getting involved with one. 

Stage 4: Completely Fucking Insane
These are the women who will freak out and jump out of your moving car for no reason other than that they have had to much to drink. Then tell the cops you pushed them. They will accuse you of abusing them, or emotionally traumatizing them in some way. At this stage they will for sure have issues with their parents, and most likely siblings as well. They will tell you how every single of their exes were horrible abusive people. And they most certainly should be medicated, seeing a therapists, and possible in an institution. They will tell you they love you and would die without you one day and threaten suicide if you leave them. Then the next day they will hate you and never want to see you again. They will break your things when they are mad, then start crying 5 minutes later because you are mad at them for it. You should not let these women know where you live, and if hooking up with one go back to her place. Because on the plus side, the more crazy they are the better in bed they end up being.

It's possible for women to fall in between stages, so for example they could be a stage 3.5 or 2.7. Or maybe when you first meet they are just crazy, but as the relationship goes on they turn out to be completely fucking insane. So keep an eye out as to not what stage they seem when you meet them, pay attention to what stage they might end up being as the relationship goes on and they can't control the crazy as well as they do when you first meet.





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