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Monday, May 31, 2010

Presidency for Dummies

I’m sure we’ve all seen the picture of George Bush walking and someone Photoshoped a presidency for dummies book in his hand. It was funny, because he did say a lot of stupid things and came across as kind of a dumbass.



Well of course now that Obama is president, someone went through and did the same for him. A little different but same theme. Of course, this one isn’t as funny. Not because I don’t support someone’s right to make fun of the president, but because, well, Obama isn’t a dummy.


People might think he’s a socialist because they don’t actually know what a socialist is. They might not like him because he is a democrat, black, or any number of other reasons. But when it comes down to it, he’s an intelligent guy. He can speak the English language, and he was elected through hard work, not because of who his dad is.

But whatever, if people want to think he’s a dummy, more power to them. Personally I thought this one was a little funnier.


And of course anything that has to do with masturbation is funny.













Thursday, May 27, 2010

Gulf Spill Surpasses the Valdez

Well it’s official the Gulf oil spill has surpassed the Exxon Valdez as the worst oil spill in U.S. history, according to new estimates released today. Yea BP! And of course, it’s still leaking, so it will get even worse before it’s done.

On a side note: according to a story by the associated press, “Though the spill is now the biggest in U.S. history, it's not the biggest ever in the Gulf. An offshore drilling rig in Mexican waters — the Ixtoc I — blew up in June 1979, releasing 140 million gallons of oil.” That spill took over 9 months before they were able to stop the leak. Now the question of course is how many people actually remember or know about that oil spill? I would imagine not very many.

To all the boycott BP people out there, why aren’t you boycotting Exxon from the Valdez disaster? Because we all need to drive to work in our fancy gas guzzling cars. And if we boycotted every company that has leaked massive amounts of oil into the oceans, we would never be able to drive. We all need to live in the suburbs in our McMansions, in America were in the 1950’s we decided to cover our country with interstates and highways rather than improving mass transit. In fact we reduced mass transit during that time.


Europe has trains all over the place. China is in the process of building bullet trains, something many European and Asian countries already have. I’ve been to countries that until a few years ago were considered third world countries that have a better mass transit system than we do in America, a supposedly first world country. I can think of New York City and San Francisco as examples of U.S. cities with a usable mass transit system. To bad I can’t take a bullet train down from Seattle to San Francisco to enjoy it.

So really, what’s the Gulf oil spill going to teach us? Probably not a lot. We will complain about politicians reactions, we will attempt to get BP to pay money, but we will eventually go back to life as usual regardless of how many birds, fish, and other wildlife will die from this. And why will we do this, because there are always oil related disasters, and as each generation ages the memory of that disaster fades.



Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Funny Comment by Commentarius de Prognosticis

Yesterday this guy Ioannes who blogs over at a site called “Commentarius de Prognosticis” (obviously titled to prove how smart he is), left a comment on my post. His site is all right-wing douche-bag nonsense that helps give tea-baggers and right-wing conservatives a bad name.

Anyway, I must have left a comment on his blog at some point, although I don’t actually remember doing it. And apparently my comment offended him (which makes me happy).

Here is the comment he left on my post:
“Don't bother coming to my blogsite again trying to publish your damnable lies extolling the baby-murdering, sodomy-loving Obamination of Desolation with your twisting of Sacred Scripture. Obama is ANTI-Christian in EVERYTHING he does, and so is anyone like you who supports him.

I don't publish comments from liberals and progressive. The best Democrat is the defeated, muzzled and emasculated Democrat.”


Some people might delete his comment because it’s so full of hatred and hostility. Plus by deleting it, it would reduce the number of links leading back to his site. But, luckily for you my readers, I’m not that kind of guy (like him). Instead I’m choosing to move his comment to today’s posts so that everyone can see it. No need for me to respond to what he said, I think it speaks for its self. Please feel free to check his blog out and leave any comments that you also feel might help motivate him go home and beat his wife or child over. He will delete the comments of course, but one of the many things I enjoy in life is, helping push people like this one step closer to having a heart attack.

Something else funny about this guy, for his blog profile under interests he lists things like church history, Catholicism (child molester), and the bible. It also says he’s into evolution. Correct me if I’m wrong but last I checked the bible proves there is no such thing as evolution, and that dinosaurs are just a myth perpetuated by the left-wing conspirators.




Monday, May 24, 2010

Rep Alan Grayson Introduces the War Is Making You Poor Act


One of the interesting things I find about the tea-baggers running around complaining about the national debt, and the Republicans saying no to everything, is that neither of those groups have a problem with the war in Iraq. They refuse to spend money on healthcare, for the people of this country, they complain about illegal immigrants using our resources, they bitch about government bailouts, and yet not a word about the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

We spend about $7 billion (yes billion) dollars a month on the war in Iraq. Which is down from the $12 billion we were spending a month on the war in 2008. As of February 2010 we spent over $700 billion dollars on the war in Iraq alone.

The 2010 budget for military spending has gone up to $663.8 billion

As of 2007 there was an estimated $10 billion dollars lost through waste or mismanagement in the wars.

The national dept is over 11 trillion dollars increased about 4 billion dollars per day.

Now I’m no math wiz or anything, but I would image that if we stopped spending so much money invading other countries, we could spend a little on stopping the increase of the national debt, and possibly begin to pay it down again. Something that hasn’t been done since Bill Clinton was president.

I know this is just a political ploy to help him get re-elected but, if the teabaggers and Republicans care so much about taxes and government spending, why are they not supporting Rep. Grayson? He has introduced a bill to cut separate funding for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and uses the money to eliminate federal income taxes on every American's first $35,000 of income.

Oh, I know why, because he’s a Democrat.





Friday, May 21, 2010

It's not racism stupid! You are here ILLEGALLY!

A friend of mine recently became a fan of this facebook page “It's not racism stupid! You are here ILLEGALLY!” And since I recently posted my support of the new law in Arizona on illegal immigration and that people are all in a huff about it. I figured I’d check out the facebook page. I didn’t become a fan of it, because I don’t care for the extremely hostile attitude it seems to represent, and that the admin of the site refuses to engage in any debate on the subject stating, “Don't email me with any liberal rhetoric or hyperbole.I will not respond and you will be blocked!!”

But, the facebook page does make an interesting point on the subject that I figured I would copy and paste here with a comparison of the U.S. vs. a few other countries.


-IF YOU CROSS THE MEXICAN BORDER YOU PAY A FINE AND ARE DEPORTED, THE SECOND TIME YOU ARE JAILED FOR UP TO 10 YEARS.
-IF YOU CROSS THE FRENCH BORDER YOU ARE FINED,JAILED AND THEN DEPORTED.
-IF YOU ENTER ENGLAND ILLEGALLY YOU ARE FINED 10,000 AND DEPORTED
IF YOU ENTER ITALY ILLEGALLY YOU ARE FINED 13000 EURO AND DEPORTED
- IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
- IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
- IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
- IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
- IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
- IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
- IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
- IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
- IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

He also has a list titled, “IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET................................”

But his list is not actually correct, and it only takes a couple of minutes on the internet to verify.

1 - A JOB,
True. That’s why they are here after all.

2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,
True. Some states will legally issue illegal immigrants drivers licenses. And a couple other states have loopholes that allow illegal immigrants to get one. about 15 states total, including my state of Washington. I can see both sides of this debate.

3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, -
Not true. This is a lie. Only legal immigrants can get one.

4 - WELFARE, -
Not true. According to the Congressional Research Service points out in a 2007 report, “undocumented immigrants are not eligible to receive public "welfare" benefits”

5 - FOOD STAMPS,
This is partially true. The illegal immigrant is not eligible, but if they have a child while in America the parent can get food stamps for the child. Which obviously means, they could eat that same food.

6 - CREDIT CARDS, -
This isn’t a government supported issue, so who cares. If a credit card company chooses to give an illegal immigrant a credit card, that’s their choice. They are a company after all.

7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
This is partially true as well, depending on the context it is taken. based on how the law is written federal housing laws state that illegal aliens can live in federally-subsidized public housing as long as at least one family member is in the U.S. legally. As in, the legal resident is the tenant.

8 - FREE EDUCATION,
This is another one that could be true or false depending on the context, and varies from state to state. But for the most part, the parents don’t get a free education but their children can attend public schools. And some states will allow those children to enroll in college. Keep in mind, they would still have to pay that college tuition like the rest of us.

9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
Technically anyone can walk into an emergency room and get health care - citizen or not. The hospital, or community health center, can attempt to bill them, and I would image just like many U.S. citizens do, they don’t pay. Is the argument here that we should just let the person bleed and die in the street? Is that what Jesus would do?

10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON,
My motorcycle club has a lobbyist in Washington. BFD! As long as the lobbyists are citizens or here legally they can lobby for whatever they want. We live in America afterall.

11 - BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE,
True. If I moved to another country, I would put a lot of effort into learning the language. I think it’s only fare to expect the same from anyone moving here… legally of course.

12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.
True. I wonder how this person feels when they see people burning the U.S. flag on the street of the Middle East? Maybe we should beat these protesters in the streets and burn there flag? Would that be the American thing to do.

Note: When I eventually create a list of top 10 reasons you are a douche-bag, I will include people who use ALL CAPS to make a point.





Thursday, May 20, 2010

Draw Mohammed Day

Not being a fan of most religious nuts needs to force their opinions and beliefs on others, I’m especially against the portion of the Muslim religion who threatens and follows through with some of those threats to harm people who show images of Mohammed.

I have worked with quite a few Muslims and for the most part they are good friendly people. I get along with them well, just like I get along with many of the Christians, Mormons, and other religious people I’ve worked with. My good friend who blogs over at The Rooster Strikes has strong religious convictions, and we’ve had a few heated debates on the subject, yet we can respect each other’s point of views, and don’t literally want to kill each other when we disagree.

But just like some right-wing douche-bag Christians give normal Christians a bad name, there are right-wing douche-bag Muslims who give normal Muslims a bad name as well.

In response to that I’ve posted in the past with a few images of Mohammad. And apparently I’m not the only one rebelling in this way. There is a facebook group that has declared today Everybody Draw Mohammed Day.

So here you go, worst Mohammed drawing ever done.




Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Super Coffee

This cranky contribution was sent to me via e-mail. I'm not really sure what the complaint or bitch is here though. maybe it's the high cost of the coffee, or maybe it's the fact that people will spend 50 bucks on a cup of coffee that comes out of an animals butt.

Kopi Luwak the most expensive coffee in the world does exist, and those who drink the expensive coffee insist that it is made from coffee beans eaten, partly digested and then excreted by the Common palm civet, a weasel-like animal.

“Kopi” the Indonesian word for coffee along with “luwak” is local name of this animal which eats the raw red coffee beans. The civet digests the soft outer part of the coffee cherry, but does not digest the inner beans and excretes them.

Apparently the internal digestion ends up adds a unique flavor to the beans, removing the bitter flavor, and then beans are then picked up by locals and sold. The most expensive coffee beans can cost up to $600 a pound, and up to $50 per cup, if you can get over the fact that you are drinking such a strange brew.

You would know if you drank the most expensive coffee in the world, because the quantities of it are tiny amounts.


Monday, May 17, 2010

Don Hertzfeldt's REJECTED

Haven’t posted in a couple of days, so here is some filler content until I get around to writing something.



Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Poo Poo Play Time

Some things I enjoy more than others, and one of those is watching little kids play in the area that my dog takes a crap.

Just to be clear I’m actually pretty good about cleaning up after my dog. If I’m walking her and she poops in someone’s yard, or park, etc. I clean it up and throw it away. The area I’m referencing is to the side of a roadway that is basically overgrown grass and trash. There isn’t a sidewalk, but there is street parking. And in South Everett, it tends to be the area that people living out of their cars tend to park. It’s also where the half-day kids living in the plethora of apartments near my place, get picked up on the bus.

The reason I don’t really like these kids is they are irritating. Or their parents are irritating. They drive down there, approximately about a block away from the ghetto apartment they live in, and the parents sit in the cars most of the time, while the kids play in the garbage and overgrown grass, that myself and other dog walkers let their animals take shits in. If I’m walking past during the time they are waiting, they are either in my way, or if scared of my dog make a fuss about having to get out of the way. As if my dog is actually going to hurt them.

So today, as I was driving home, I noticed them all playing in the dumping ground, and poo, and whatever else gets thrown there and I smiled. Yes, it’s an asshole thing to do, but hey if the parents will let them play there, seeing full well what a nasty patch of muck it is, it’s not my problem. After all, I am a cranky monkey.


Monday, May 10, 2010

Spill After Spill and Still No Aliens

The Exxon Valdez oil spill occurred in 1989. Over 10 million gallons of oil spilled into Prince William Sound in Alaska, killing wildlife, polluting beaches, and even now over 20 years later the effects are still visible.

At the time a terrible disaster and learning experience that we’ve never learned from. The Exxon Corporation was fined 5 billion dollars for the disaster, and proving that expensive lawyers do pay-off, where able to later get it reduced to about 500 million.



In Ecuador Texaco and Chevron spent about 3 decades contaminating one of the most biodiverse regions on Earth, poisoning the water, air and land and uprooting indigenous peoples. To this day there are lakes of sludge and runoff from the drilling in the region. Some estimates actually put this environmental disaster in worse terms than the Valdez spill, yet most North Americans know nothing about it.


In the Gulf of Mexico a BP oil drilling rig exploded and has leaked about 4 million gallons into the gulf- and is still leaking. The coast of Louisiana is already feeling the effects. Animals already on the endangered species list are being hurt by the oil. Food we consume from the gulf is being contaminated. And we will be feeling the effects from the spill for years to come. And let’s not even bother discussing what minor penalty BP will have to pay for this disaster.



The United States makes up less than 5% of the world's population, yet we create roughly a quarter of the world's demand for oil. Over 60 percent of our oil is imported from other countries, many of whom are not fans of our country.



The current requirement for gas mileage in cars is 27.5 mpg, an increase of only 1 mile per gallon over the standard in 1989 of 26.5 when the Valdez happened.


The world has a limited amount of oil left. We have technology that would allow us to move away from drilling for oil in oceans, national parks, and even in down town Los Angeles. Yes, there are oil drilling rigs in the city of Los Angeles. Yet, as a people we are so dependent on our cars, that we accept all of this as a way of life. We ignore the environmental impact of our commutes to work each day, because we recycle our plastic bottles and paper, and think we are doing good.



The pro-drill conservatives and members of big business, try to play off all the oil in the Gulf of Mexico as no big deal. Or blame Obama, as if he is at fault. The liberals use this as proof of why we shouldn’t drill, yet pack the two kids on the back of their Subaru for a weekend hike in the mountains.




Stephen Hawkins recently made a statement to the effect of, “If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.” Basically implying that they would do what we do, destroy everything in our paths and utilize all the natural resources. My hope is if aliens ever visit, they show up and say WTF, and just clean out the human population leaving the rest of the planet intact. Except for maybe a few of us, who they would take back to their home world and utilize us as sex slaves for their super sexy women, who for some reason all look like a young Angelina Jolie.




Thursday, May 06, 2010

Lessons of Success

Microsoft has enlightened me about what it means to be successful in our society. In case I hadn’t picked up the myriad other social cues I could have snatched along my life’s path, I can see exactly what success looks like through Clip Art Online.

Simply type in the word “success” and hit enter. That’s all it takes! You will be taken on a vivid, photographic journey definitive of what it really, truly is to be successful. Just take a look!


The first page is so enlightening! I am learning that I can be successful if I get a sex change! Good thing I’m white, or else I don’t think it would work out for me. I guess I may want to buy a dark or neutral toned suit and make sure I learn how to wear a tie properly, as it seems this is an important part of being successful. At least I already know how to read newspapers, phew!


Uh oh! Page two makes it seem as though I may need to add a blazer to my ensemble and, what’s this? How many “thumbs up” signals should I give, to whom, and how often? Maybe success is more difficult than I thought?! I’ll take it slowly, practice the hand gestures and smirking, and maybe buy a red tie for the collection…


But wait! The Santa hat, what does it mean! Must I be Christian and start celebrating Christmas? Oh no! I guess I’ll have to become religious and worship other people’s imaginary friends. Damn. And, oh crap! It looks like I might need to become rich for success to be meaningful in my life. Shoot. I’m pretty poor. Still, at least I’m not black. That almost-black lady seems to be present in the world of the successful and mighty only because she has a group of white people standing behind her, ready to support her in case her inferior, black culture crops up to take over her better, white-driven senses.


Oh, I finally see! I don’t need a sex change, after all! I just need to dye my hair blonde, smile a lot, and stand with my arms crossed frequently, maybe in a field of daisies. So long as I’m still kind of sexual and show off my breasts, I might be ok. Unlike the men, I might want to unbutton the top few buttons of my dress shirt and show a little cleavage. And charts, charts, charts! Maybe I’ll tattoo one on my ass. That should cover it.

Good thing Microsoft is so amazing at reflecting our society’s cultural values about success or I’d be a wreck in life. Now that I know how to become successful, I’m going to go share this information with all of the brunettes, gingers, unattractives, and people who are not white so that they can also learn how to achieve more in life. Hurrah for progress!

Monday, May 03, 2010

Pictures of Mohammed


After my recent post about Comedy Central bleeping out the word Mohammad from a recent episode of South Park, and how all media outlets are paranoid of showing his image, I thought I would try to find out how hard it is to find pictures of the Muslim idol. Apparently it isn’t that hard.

















So what has my research shown me? That the Muslim radicals only care about mass media outlets. They don’t really care that much about people showing his image if they don’t have an audience. If they did, all the publishers of these images would receive threats, or even worse.

And really, isn’t that what religion is all about… hypocrisy and getting worked up over nothing, and only throwing a fit if it’s going to get on the evening news.