Veep Drinking Game

Cranky About Motorcycles

This week I reached the 1000 mile mark on my motorcycle, and since this is the Cranky Monkey, I decided to commemorate the occasion by posting top 10 things that make me cranky about motorcycles.

10. Not enough motorcycle parking. Come on Seattle, you want to get people out of those SUV's and into something smaller, you need to provide reasons to do so. If I could find more safe motorcycle parking downtown, I might be more inclined to ride my bike down there.
9. Helmet hair. In the morning my hair is usually still wet when I leave for work, and by the time I get to work it has dried into a disaster.
8. Large groups of riders going on rides. You are driving down the road and this large spread out group of riders is cruising along. They are spread out far enough to where it's impossible to pass them, and you are stuck waiting for a passing lane.
7. The weather. Yes riding when the weather is great, is great. But living in Seattle that's not very often. And quite often instead of riding I'm stuck driving, thanks to the weather.
6. The wave. This actually used to be kind of cool. Riding down the road, you see another rider and you each do a quick acknowledgement wave. But sometimes you do it, and the other guy doesn't, which makes him a dick. Or sometimes you just don't want to wave back, especially if you are cruising down the interstate or shifting, and don't want to take your hand off the grip.
5. People who asks, "what kind of bike do you have?" but have no clue about motorcycles. Anyone who rides a motorcycle knows what I'm talking about. You are in the office, your helmet is on your desk and a coworker say, "Oh you have a motorcycle. what kind of bike is it?" You then tell the person and you can see in their eyes they have no clue what you are talking about, so they then say, "Cool" and change the subject to something else.
4. Maintenance. You have to clean and lube the chain every 200 miles, check the slack every 500, so forth and so on. Doesn't the manufacturer know I just want to ride the damn thing.
3. The Lynnwood Cycle Barn. This actually isn't a complaint about riding, but about a place that sells motorcycles. They have the worst sales people out of any sales people. If this country had a consistently shitty sales person contest, the Cycle Barn would always win. If you don't believe me, look up reviews on this place, they are all bad. Unfortunately they are one of the few places in in Western Washington that sells Triumphs. Triumph Motorcycle Company, if you are reading this please find another dealer in north Seattle. You probably loose business because of this place.
2. Dumbasses on crotch rockets. These are the ones that give other bike riders bad names. They race in and out of traffic, cutting people off, and being total dumbasses. Then when they do get in a wreck, everyone acts like it's the drivers fault not the rider.
1. Most every driver on the road. These are the people who don't see you, are to busy talking on their phones, eating, not paying attention, or driving red BMW's with Obama stickers on the back. When an accident happens it hurts the person on the bike more than the car. So, if we get rid of the cars, we get rid of the problem.


Unknown said…
The best thing about a bike is getting to meet new people driving BMW's on 405.
Rooster said…
CM, what you need is a "hairmet".

That will knock your list down to 9. For the rest of them, you're screwed.
jade98155 said…
If first part of number 6 was right wouldn't the second mean they you were a dick for not waving?

And probably bad sales people at lynnwood cycle barn is why they have to move all their stuff back to the main building. Sad because I liked the big space.
MGD said…
I was talking to someone that's in the loop, and he said bad sales is exactly why they are moving back to the old location.