Veep Drinking Game

Dash Trash Tales (Life as a Contracted Employee) vol. 4

I’ve done a few posts recently trash-talking Microsoft with my Dash Trash Tales. So I think it is only fair that I trash talk a few of the contractors and vendors I might have been portraying better than they deserve. Sure, they get treated like second-class citizens in Microsoft City, but to Microsoft’s defense, a few deserve that treatment. So here are a few deserving stories- all names changed for privacy purposes.

“Aaron” – Aaron was a vendor hired on for some reason that those of us who worked with him could never quite figure out. We were working on an internal software project, and somehow he was hired as a project manager with no real defined goals. His role as far as I could tell was attending meetings all day, offering his advice and talk a good game while not doing anything. Throughout the time we worked with him, he didn’t actually complete any task that was ever assigned to him – that I know of. Maybe he did, and I was just not made aware of it.

Aaron somehow managed to stay employed for a year, if I remember correctly, and I think this was partially because they kept changing who he was reporting too. Since he never reported to the same manager for more than a couple months, no one dealt with him long enough to realize that he never actually did anything. That was until his last manager who was on the ball well enough to figure it out and quickly ended his contract.

“Gina” – Vendors at Microsoft are usually not provided with an office. As I’ve previously mentioned. For Gina that was a great thing, because she took full advantage of being provided with the option of working from home. For example; one day I needed some information from her. So, I did what most people typically do who work remotely. I instant messaged her through office communicator. A few hours later she responded. The reason it took her so long to respond was that she was busy playing Guitar Hero. It must have been a tough contract for her.

“Katrina” – I was involved with the interview for this person. Three of us interviewed her for her role on the team I worked with. After the interviews were done, we got together and discussed the candidates. There was one I felt would be the better candidate, but the other two liked Katrina. I admit her resume looked good, but in the interview, I didn’t feel she explained things well and wasn’t clear in her answers. The response I got for the other two was, “that’s because of her accent.” Implying that I didn’t think she was qualified because I couldn’t understand her. So I gave in, and we hired her.

It didn’t take long to realize that the woman was incompetent. She was so disorganized that I am amazed she could find her way to the woman's bathroom. Most people found her so frustrating to deal with that I ended up having to cover for her, as they would come to me with what the needed instead of her. After many complaints to our manager, and nearly a year later, he finally cut her contract and replaced her.

Here is the thing; I got along pretty well with all these people, and a few of them I even like. But, it is a business and requires a pretty intelligent person to do the job - sometimes. And, even if the position doesn’t require a certain level of intelligence, at least attempt to come across as an intelligent person, or when sitting at home playing video games, don’t tell people that is what you are doing. Or if you do tell people, make sure it is friends who are at home doing the same thing, not someone who is in the office trying to get work done because you didn't do yours.