Things That Make Me Cranky

cranky monkey cartoon
Chad the Cranky Monkey
1. Walking With Phones

It's funny when they walk into something, not as funny when they aren't watching where they are going and walk into me, or I have to move so they don't.

2. Bluetooth Headsets or Airpods

Ever had someone talk to you, then you respond only to find out that they were actually talking to someone else on the headset? Exactly, and that's why I don't like them.

3. Impatient People

Although I have to admit I get a little impatient myself at times.

4. Unclear Phone Number Message

When someone calls and leaves a phone number but they only say it once and say it quickly so I have to listen to the message again to get the number. Even worse when they do it at the end of the message instead of the beginning.

5. People Who Talk About Work Excessively

Get a life. I don't want to talk about my work all the time, and I like my job, so what makes you think I want to listen to you talk about your boring office job.

6. Guys in The Men's Locker Room Who Don't Close The Shower Curtain or Door

Seriously guys if you are looking for a hookup go to the gay bathhouse in your town. Personally, I have no interest in seeing your soap covered harry back.

7. People Whistling to Themselves

Just something creepy and annoying about it

8. Smelly Lunch People

People who eat bring leftover broccoli or fish to work then reheat in the microwave. I think everyone hates this but for some reason people still do it.

9. People Who Go to Concerts or Events Then Record It With A Phone Instead of Just Listening to Music

Look at what I just posted on Facebook everyone, a shitty handheld video clip of a concert that I went to but didn't actually listen to because I was busy fucking around with my phone the whole time.

10. People Who Ask For Suggestions On Places to Meet But Then Say No to Every Suggestion

I have a couple of friends who do this and it drives me nuts. We have plans and they are like, "Hey where do you want to meet?" So I suggest a place and they say no not there. I suggest another and they don’t like that one either. Okay, then how about you suggest a place jackass!

11. That Person On a Plane Who Puts Two Items in the Overhead

One that is supposed to go in the overhead and the other under the seat in front of them. But instead of putting it under the seat they put both in the overhead. This is why so many people have a hard time finding space you jackasses!

12. Haircut Hair

Getting a haircut and having an itchy neck for the rest of the day.

13. How Difficult Businesses Make It To Contacting Them

This is especially the case with large businesses that have an online presence. Trying to go to the website and find the contact us, then actually getting a bunch of help files, before eventually finding a phone number. Then call the number and having go to through the system before talking to someone, who asks you for all your information, what you need, then transfers you to someone else who does the exact same thing.

14. Mayonnaise on a Hamburger or Chicken Burger

When going to a restaurant and ordering a chicken burger without the mayo then the cook puts mayo on it, realizes they it was supposed to be without so they scrape it off, as if it won't be noticed.

15.  Excessive Mayonnaise on Sandwiches

Speaking of Mayonnaise, why is it when I order a sandwich or wrap the person working at the deli counter puts massive quantities of mayonnaise on it? Even when I ask for less mayonnaise they seem so in the habit of excessive quantities my sandwich will still often ooze mayo.

16. People Who Tell Me Something I Already Know

I know this is probably just an insecurity thing on my end of not wanting to look dumb, or maybe it is because I'm a know-it-all. Either way, it seriously pisses me off when someone tells me something that I already know. Even worse is when working on something at work and a manager tells me to work on something I am already working on.