Veep Drinking Game

How to Properly Deal with Neighbors

Every morning I start the day off by taking my dog for a quick piss break. It's usually around 6:30 or 7:00am, which in Seattle means it's dark outside, or just barely getting light. I live in a townhouse complex with attached garages, so I have to walk through the parking lot past other peoples townhomes to get to the road. The complex is well lit, with lights in yards and above garages. Most mornings I do this without interactions with others.

Last fall a new neighbor moved into the place across from mine. For the most part she is a good neighbor. Good in the sense that I never have to see her or hear her. The only catch is, that she leaves for work about the same time each morning that I walk my dog.

The first time I walked past her driveway when she was backing her Ford Explorer out of her garage and driveway, she almost backed into me. I yelled, and she quickly stopped.

A few days or weeks later, the next time, I walked way around her so as to give her plenty of room, while giving her a dirty look that she most likely didn't see.

A time after that, I kicked the side of her car and yelled at her.

Then one day, after work, as I was walking my dog she was parked next to her mail box getting the mail. So, I decided to try being a nice neighbor and having a talk with her.

Me: Hi, could you do me a favor and when you are backing out in the mornings, try to watch…

Her: (cutting me off) It's your fault that I almost hit you. It's dark, and you wear dark clothing!

Me: Look, I'm trying to be nice here, but if you want to turn this into a fucking argument…

Her: (cutting me off again, and getting into her car) I can't talk to you when you swear at me!

Me: (slight confused, and now getting pissed) If you want to turn this into an argument we can! (I yell while standing on front of her car so she can't move) Next time you back into me, I'm going to make sure there is a dent into your car!

Well, apparently yelling at her worked. This morning I was walking my dog past her place, she stopped when she saw me, and even waved at me. Teaching a valuable lesson. When attempting to talk nicely to someone, you get nowhere, but if you yell at that person and threaten to kick a dent in the side of there car, they will pay attention. Let this be a lesson for you kids.


Quorri Scharmyn said…
hahahaa....haha...ha. You win.
MGD said…
Damn right!