Have an account?

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #8

This is one that was forward to me via an e-mail chain. Based on the way it’s written, I’m sure it’s a fabrication, but it goes well with the theme of PAD.


George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when hiswife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no". Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all." Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Going Up?

On this blog somewhere, I did a posting about how a large number of Microsoft employees live in their own little world. I used the term, the “MS Bubble”. I think I might be changing it to the “MS world” or perhaps, “My Little Microsoft Land.” I don’t know, if you have any suggestions please leave a comment.


To the point – The building I work in has a parking garage directly underneath it. So, it involves taking an elevator to the upper floors. There is a small area with windows and a door in front of two elevators. The door of course, involves swiping your security badge to get in. The windows are large enough, so that when someone is in the elevator they can see someone walking up. Most people outside of “Microsoft Land” when getting on the elevator, see someone walking up, they will hold the elevator. It’s called being polite, I’ve even done it, and I’m not a polite person. Microsoft people on the other hand do not. This morning, I’m walking up, I see two people getting on the elevator, they see me walking through the door, neither one bothers to hold the elevator for me. This isn’t unusual, in fact I can’t think of a single time someone has done this.


So from now on, I’m going to start paying attention to the faces who do this, and hopefully one of these days, I can respond on kind. The only difference being, you will see me flipping you the finger as the elevator door shuts.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Dead Horses


Working for MSN, I will check the MSN news site. Today, our top story is a horse having to be euthanized. WTF?!?! Look, I’m bawling tears because a horse that won the Kentucky Derby had to be put to sleep. But on the first page? Don’t we have more important news to report on? I’ve heard rumor about a war in Iraq, and thousands of Americans and Iraqis dying over there. I’ve heard we also have people in Afghanistan looking for some guy who was involved in a little attack against America. We’ve got a lame duck president in office, and dozens of other people announcing they are running. We have climate change, and most importantly of all, the SAG Awards were last night. But no, our lead story is about a horse… of course

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #7

Here’s a local story, the key quote I would like to reference is, “"The officers went back to check on the woman's dog," he said. "Then that dog became extremely upset."” So they shot the dog!! Of course the dog is going to attack, it just got attacked by two dogs, dealt with the sound of gunshots, and was probably injured. So they go back to check on it and shoot it?!?! Wow, that’s nice of them. Is this how they go back and check on people who get in fights as well? My only hope is that one of the dogs that bit them had rabies.


Here’s an odd idea, how about they let the lady deal with her dog and calm it down. Odds are, if she is a responsible dog owner, she would have the capability.


Source

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

An Inconvenient Piece of Propaganda

Last weekend I watched An Inconvenient Truth. For those of you who don’t know, it’s Al Gore’s global warming speech on video. In all honesty I was looking for this video to help convince people that global warming is an issue. Unfortunately the message in the movie got lost in the political propaganda. The majority of the movie consisted of Gore in front of an audience spouting off facts about global warming, and then it would cut to him talking about the 2000 election. Or, it would cut to some scene of him sitting in front of a computer looking serous. He constantly quoted, “the scientist” but didn’t really say what scientist or where he obtained his information. Ok, maybe he did a little but once again, it was lost in the cuts of him walking through the airport like a normal person, or smack talking Bush.

Now that I’ve trashed most of the movie, you should still see it. Once you get past all the crap, the movie does have useful and informative message. I can say that I’ve read and studied quit a bit on global warming and what he says in the movie is accurate. Global warming is real for those of you who still are so arrogant to think humans are not having a negative impact on the planet. And it’s also something you are going to need to accept at some point in your life, because if you don’t…. well, if you don’t, then just piss off dumbass!!!

Monday, January 22, 2007

What’s Your Sign?

Yep, I’ve been silently saying it for years and here is the proof, Libras and Aquarians are terrible drivers…. Whenever someone cut’s me off, you can hear me swearing, “You damn Aquarius!!!”

A study was done to find out who the best and worst drivers are based on astrological sign. And since it was a study, I’m sure we can all take it as fact… And soon our insurance companies will be able to look at this, and think of new ways to screw us out of a few extra dollars. Well maybe not “us” I’m a Gemini one of the good drivers.

-Read the full article-

Friday, January 19, 2007

The Value of Good Customer Service

I’ve been involved in customer service in some form or another for quite a few years now. I started off on the phones at AT&T. I eventually moved on to other things and am now creating policy and processes for Microsoft. Even though I don’t actually talk to customers anymore, I occasionally listen to customer calls. You know the message, “this call may be monitored”. And it’s amazing how far removed we are as corporations from the idea of providing quality customer service. I recently listened to a call where the customer was aggravated over a $5.00 activation fee on a service they didn’t even use. Yes, technically they agreed to the terms and conditions (the scapegoat of all customer service representatives when they don’t want to be helpful), but it was 5 bucks.


Once upon a time, companies had a number that could be taken into account that isn’t used anymore; it’s called the cost per call. When you call into customer service, the company is paying to support that 800 number. They are paying the person to answer the phone, they are paying the manager to eventually get on the call, and they are paying people like me, the back end people who create the processes for those front people. So for every minute you are on that phone, the cost per call to that company increases.


It used to be the manager would get on the phone, and think outside the box, assuming the person deserved it; they would provide a refund or credit. Now days, they will argue and argue with the customer about a charge that would cost the company less overall to just provide the refund. Not only do companies loose money due to the cost per call, they loose in word of mouth. Think about this, for every bad customer service experience you have, how many people do you tell? Now compare this to the positive customer service experiences you have and how many people you tell. Statistically, people are more inclined to tell the negative (I read a study on it a while back).


AT&T/Cingular/at&t has gone from one of the top rated companies in customer service to one of the bottom.


In the end, everyone looses. The customer leaves unhappy and doesn’t receive the potential benefits of the product. And the company looses in the bottom dollar and reputation. Who’s to blame? Everyone!
Upper management: Is so far removed from the customer experience, they don’t promote quality customer service, only the numbers they see on presentations and reports from people like me.
People like me: Yep, I’ll even take a small part in this. I’ve been sufficiently beat down by the corporate politics game that I don’t speak up or create presentations around quality customer service. I used to, that’s one of the reasons I was “The Cranky Corporate Monkey” at Cingular. But now I do what I’m told, I think of ways to reduce head count and improve systems, processes, and policy to save the company money on some report that goes to upper management. Sure I still occasionally try to voice my opinion but people like me are becoming fewer and fewer.
Customer service reps and their managers: Totally, they can take the initiative, care a little bit about the company they work for, and think outside that box. Policies are guidelines, they aren’t written in stone. Use good judgment.
The customer: Suck it up! Is a few dollars worth the aggravation that goes along with calling into customer service? I wish it were but it’s not.


Keep up hope my fellow readers; life is a large circle and things always come around. Look at Christmas; a few years ago it was taboo to say, “Merry Christmas” You had to say, “Happy Holidays” instead. This last year, a lot of people were back to saying, “Merry Christmas”. Customer service will come around too. One of these days, upper management will realize again the value of quality customer service. And as we all know… it flows downhill.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Drivers in the Snow

This is in Portland but it's not like Seattle drivers are any different.

http://www.king5.com/sharedcontent/VideoPlayer/videoPlayer.php?vidId=114054&catId=231

China Goes Green

One nice thing about communism is when the government decides to clean up the lobbyists like we have here in the states don’t get much say in it. China, a country that actually pollutes more than us, is cleaning house, “All new buildings in China will be required to cut energy consumption for heating, lighting and air conditioning by 50 percent”.

Article

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #6

This actually happened last summer but I never blogged on it, or if I did I can’t find it. It was a Saturday morning, probably around 6:00 or 7:00, I was started awake by the sound of someone honking their horn right outside my house. I live in a condo/townhouse. I tried to ignore it but was forced out of bed when someone started knocking at my door.
“What!” I asked standing in a pair of sweat pants and not much else.
“Do you own a black sedan?” an older and haggard looking blond asked.
“No.” I responded quickly.
“Someone parked it in the road and it’s blocking the way.”
“Well it’s not mine.” And I shut the door.
To give you an idea of the layout of my complex; the parking lot is basically a big C shape. Around the edges are the condos and townhouses, we each have a garage with a little driveway, and across from mine is some open parking for guests and stuff. I obviously park in the driveway in front of my garage. I couldn’t go back to sleep at this point, primarily due to the horn honking. I quickly put on some jeans and a shirt, and went out to see what all the drama was over.
There were three people gathered around a black Acura, the blond, an older Asian lady, and some guy. The car had been parked at an angle, the back of the vehicle was towards the bumper of mine, and the front was pointing towards the open parking spots, so as to block anyone from driving past.
“Why don’t you just push it out of the way?” I said.
“The guy responded, “I think it’s been stolen, there is a key broken in the ignition and it’s in park.”
I jumped into the driver seat real quick to try to force it into neutral. Since the key was broken in the ignition we were able to force it to turn and then able to put the car in gear. The four of us then pushed it to an empty spot. It took only a matter of minutes. There were a few words said as I went back to bed.
Later that day I woke up and as my head cleared up I realized a few things. One, yes the car was stolen, I called the cops knowing my neighbors wouldn’t. Two, since the car was stolen and obviously stolen by the condition, broken key, etc, did they really think honking the horn was going to do any good? Like the theft would come running out, “oh sorry after stealing that I meant to park it better. Here let me move it.” And finally, what a bunch of retards, it took under a minute to move the thing once I got out there, yet between the three of them they couldn’t figure it out.

How does this relate to Police Academy Dropouts? After calling the police around 10:00 in the morning, they finally showed up around 4:00 or 5:00 that evening. Apparently getting someone their car back isn’t that high of a priority. It’s a loose relation.

Monday, January 15, 2007

The Light War Has Been Lost

Last week I posted about some lighting changes in my office and how people can attempt to get rid of the crappy overhead lights, yet someone will ruin it for all. That has now happened in my area. I walked in this morning and noticed it was exceptionally bright, looked up and saw the overheard fluorescents on. Even worse, most of the lamps that were brought in are on as well, so now it’s even brighter than it was before.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Old Bathroom Blog’s

I decided to go through and clean up some of my old postings, mostly because my archive list is getting a little long. This blog originally started as a joke about them men’s room at my previous office building. Looking through the postings, I’m noticing a lot of similarities between then and now. Here are a few to give you an idea.


seat covers - posted Thursday, September 29, 2005
so here's the thing. I work for a rather large corporation in a professional building with adults. Yet, for some reason, an occasional adult male, still can't handle the task of putting the paper seat cover in the toilet. they might occasionally just leave it on the seat, or let if fall on the floor. or in today's case, wad it up and leave it on the back of the toilet...


The Station - posted Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Imagine pissing in a train station. Now you know what it’s like to go in the men’s room at my office. Doors opening and closing, people walking in and out, constant chatter. It’s like, “damn it! I just want to chill and take a piss real quick! And sometimes a nice crap.”


Robert's no hander – posted Wednesday, October 19, 2005
taking a leak this morning guy comes in and takes the other urinal whips it out and then folded his arms across his chest Did it "no hands." made all adjustments by moving his pelvis


Rick has an experience – posted Monday, October 10, 2005
go to take a dump, late in after noon so rooms have been used all day. Seat covered with little specs of skin. Goes to clean it but so bad can't touch it. Like a pimply ass that sat down and squished...He decided to hold it till he got home...


No Handed Breather…- posted Sunday, October 09, 2005
Taking a piss In the left urinal Guy comes in and goes to the one right next to me Two hands on hips Breathing so loudly that it sounds like he's taking a crapI was in midstream and almost stopped it was so distracting

Friday, January 12, 2007

Wednesdays Snow

This last Wednesday, we had some snow in the Seattle area. I live up north and work in Redmond, after starting out driving in that morning; I changed my mind and decided to stay home for the day. I’m glad I did. From anyone I’ve talked to, the drive or ride home was hell. Here are a couple other blogs on bus riding that night.

The Commute Home

Peace Is Every Step

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Cingular Still at the Bottom

Since I love to talk trash about Cingular, here is an article backing it up. "Which cell phone carrier rated highest?"

Equality

Interesting conversation we had during out carpool this morning. So if women are equal in all aspects and all that fun stuff that get’s complained about all the time, why is it that a guy can’t beat the hell out of a woman like he can another guy? Wouldn’t that make her equal? Based on this, it is women who create the equality not the men…

Monday, January 08, 2007

Office Lighting

I’ve worked in an office for quite a few years, quite a few buildings, and a couple different companies. One of which was Cingular. As with most offices, the lighting was/is overhead florescent lights. Anyone who has worked in such an environment knows it sucks. Anyway, a few people there would occasionally try to turn the lights off and just use desk lamps. Of course, we would always get that irritating, anal retentive, bitch who has to come in and turn them back on. And of course since management wouldn’t want to offend that one person, we would have to deal with the lighting.


Now, I’m at Microsoft and I have to give them props on the lighting. I work in the same environment, a large area full of cubes. They on the other hand, went through today and bought nice lamps for the office areas and turned the fluorescents off. I have to say, it makes a real difference. People’s attitudes seem more relaxed, and it’s easier to focus on what you are actually doing. I’ve even notice a lot of the side conversations have mellowed. Of course this is the first day, so we will have to see what the long run ends up being, but it’s better than Cingular, who could care less about employee satisfaction.


Update – Within the past hour of having this posted, we’ve already had people complain about the lights. Luckily they were outvoted when it came to on or off. As of right now, only one of the overheads was turned back on, and that person will only be here for a few more weeks, I will be turning it back off on her last day.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

A Real Hero

A couple of weeks ago, I did a posting about James Kim. The guy was all over the news in just about all publications, being praised as a hero after getting his family stuck in the snow, then wondering off for help and dying in the woods. Look people, just because someone dies, does not make them a hero. You want to know what a hero is, it’s Wesley Autrey. He basically jumped on to subway tracks, covering a man with his body, to protect him while the subway went over them. That’s a freaken hero. Yet, our media has hardly reported the story. After searching, I did find one main stream news organization reporting the story, CNN. It wasn’t on the front page, like the James King story. I guess, someone doing something brave and living, isn’t as newsworthy as someone doing something stupid and dying.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Police Academy Dropouts #5

Back from vacation so here is this week’s lame cop story.

I used to date this girl and her car was broken into. Well, it just happened that a cop was driving past, at the exact time it was happening, so they caught the guy. Anyway, she gets her car fixed through insurance and all that, and about a week later, someone busts out all the windows on the car. Didn’t take anything just busted the windows one night. Obviously it was the guy who had broken into it the week before, getting back at her for what happened. She calls the cops and tells them what happens. They don’t bother send someone over, they just file the report over the phone. Since we are sure it’s the person from before, we ask, what’s his name or any information about him. We are told, they can’t provide that information. So this criminal, spends a few days in jail, gets out, vandalizes her car, and not only are they not going to do anything about it(no proof that it was him), they aren’t even going to give us the information to do something about it.