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Friday, May 30, 2008

California Gay Marriage

The California State Supreme Court, recently ruled that the state constitution does not prevent same sex couples from being married. As of June 16th, gays and lesbians in California will be allowed to get married. As you can imagine all the right wing conservative douche bags are throwing a fit. They feel that they should be the only ones to get married, have affairs, and get divorced.

What are they doing about it? The right wing conservative douche bags, are pushing to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage. Just to be clear, I don't live in California, and I'm not gay. But, I do support equal rights, I (mostly) support peoples rights to choose how to live their own lives. I don't support (at all) the right wing conservative douche bags, who feel the need to try to control everyone else's lives. So look, if you live in California, tell the right wing conservative douche bag to fuck off. Let people get married if they want. And if you are a right wing conservative douche bag who has a problem with gay marriage, then don't go to the wedding.

Check out Equality for All for more information.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

The Pansy-Enertia

In this day and age of environmentalism and high gas prices, I’ve been reading up on electric cars and stuff. And by stuff I mean motorcycles. I found this story on MSN about an all electric motorcycle. “Cool I thought.” That was until I saw the thing..

How quickly would you get your assed kicked pulling up to the biker bar on this? I’m all for saving the planet, but there is something to be said for not looking like a total knob while doing it.

Now this is more like what a motorcycle should look like…

To be continued....

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Why Don't You Get Over It, You Old Bag

"Excuse me" I hear calling out from behind me.

I'm at the dog park walking my dog. As often happens I walk ahead as my dog lags behind, sniffing and pissing on everything she passes.

"Excuse me!" I turn around to see who's calling out."Is your dog okay?" she's asks.

I look to see an older lady with a dog of similar size to mine, holding her dog back while on a leash. It's apparent she's concerned that my dog might start a fight for some reason, even though I can clearly see my dog wagging her tail, and waiting for the lady to let her dog near mine. I quickly get irritated with the woman.

"She seems okay to me." I respond before turning to continue my walk.

What's the point in bringing your dog to a dog part if you don't want it to interact with other dogs? Or for that matter, what's the point in bringing your dog to an off leash dog park if you are going to keep it on a leash?

I turn again, and call my dog to me so that the old bag doesn't have a heart attack stressing about it. I continue my walk, with no further interaction with the woman. Near the entrance to the park is a large play area. I decide to hang out for a while and let my dog run around a bit. She pretty much just ignores the other dogs and does her own thing. But at least she's moving and working off some energy.

There is another man with a smaller dog who begins to walk down the trail, as the woman with the leashed dog comes back around. His dog runs up to hers and attempts to play with her dog. And from what I can see, her dog is attempting to play as well. Unfortunately the dog is being restrained by the old bag. The man, sensing the lack of interest the woman has with letting her dog interact, goes to grab his dog.

"She's getting over a bite." The woman says. "She got into a fight last week and is still apprehensive."

The guy asks if it was at this park or not, and the woman responds with, "no everyone at this park is nice." she continues to hurry towards the exit with her dog in tow.

As she walk past me she says, "Your dog seems fine, it's just that she's getting over a bite."

The thought of informing her that her dog didn’t appear to have any problems, and that maybe it was her that needs to get over last week’s attack, crosses my mind. But I doubt she would listen. So instead of speaking, I decide to stay silent with a disdainful look on my face as she continues to leave the park.

Friday, May 23, 2008

In Need of a Spanking

A friend forwarded this to me. This 7-year old kid stole his grandmothers SUV and went on a joyride, hitting cars, and other random stuff before wrecking it.

The grandmother seems to be the only reasonable person involved. Her comment is that she'd beat his ass, if the state wouldn't take him away for her doing it.

The police of course didn't do anything. The kids were driving around for a while wrecking the SUV. Where were the cops? They were called, but apparently to busy writing speeding tickets to go catch a 7 year old.

And this kid! They should just send him to jail now, and save society from having to deal with him later on. When they interview him, he shows no remorse at his actions. Shows no concern that he could have killed someone. And thinks his punishment should be a weekend without video games.

Come on people, let grandma beat this boy to the edge of his life! That's the kind of lesson this kid needs.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Pay at the Pump

They came up with this great thing a many years ago, the ability to pay with your card at the gas pump. The idea around this is it allows the constumer to reduce time at the gas station by not having to go inside and deal with the clerk.

Cranky Monkey- (after waiting in line) I need my receipt
Severely in need of braces clerk – Which pump?
CM – Well, there are two cars out there. One of them is currently pumping gas and the other is done. Which one do you think?
Clerk – The one that’s done.
CM- Yep.
Clerk – (looking at computer trying to figure the correct pump out) It’s still easer to know the pump number
CM- It’s the Toyota Pickup (Pointing to my truck)
Clerk – Number 6.
CM- It wouldn’t be an issue if the pump printed a receipt.
Clerk – I’d replace it if I knew how. (Hands receipt to Cranky Monkey)
CM- Thanks. (Walks out)

This isn’t a new scenario. In fact I am generally more surprised when I actually get the receipt at the pump, as compared to when I need to go in the store. Which, of course, ruins the point of paying at the pump, because in the end, I still have to go inside and waste my time in line! F-you gas station clerk!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Tipping is for Service Europe

Tipping as many of us know is a U.S. tradition that has managed to work its way overseas. Unfortunately in the process something was lost; the reason for the tip. Generally when traveling in Europe the service is slow at the standard cafés and restaurants. I recently watched a documentary on Amsterdam and one of the jokes the host made was about waiting 20 minutes at a café for service. Having been to Amsterdam I can validate that he was a little more serious than joking.

I recently had lunch in the heart of Prague. We sat down, waited for a while, and were eventually brought menus and asked for our drink orders. Eventually they brought the drinks and took the food order. They also brought bread with the food. Since it was a warm nice day, we sat and had a second drink. Ordering the second drink involved flagging someone down, and at no point through the meal did they come check on us. After we were done they came and took the plates. They didn't bring they check though which is standard through Europe. Very rarely do they bring the check after the meal; generally you have to flag someone down for it. After receiving the check, I noticed it was very high. It also had things on it that I didn't order. So I flagged the waiter down and asked. One of the items was the bread. We didn't order it but were charged for it. I didn't feel like arguing over the bill, so I agreed to pay it. After doing so, the waiter pointed out at the bottom of the bill it said, in English, "Tip not included."And it's a good thing that it wasn't included, because he didn't deserve one, and he didn't get one.

Mr. Czech Waiter - Just because someone deals with tourist all day doesn't give you the right to be a rude jackass, and New York is proof of that. I went to New York a while back, and in the city that is known for its rudeness, I found some of the nicest people. The waiters/waitresses were always super friendly and they always got a good tip from me.

Tipping is for service. If you do a good job, you get tipped. If you do a bad job you don't get tipped. That's how it works Europe.

Maybe that’s why so many European cafés and restaurants include the tip in the bill. My guess is when they don’t include it they don’t get tipped.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Brat on the Airplane

Have you ever had to spend 10 hours in the economy seats on an airplane? How about 10 hours in the economy seats, sitting behind some little kid who spends 8 of those 10 hours making noise? I have. This little kid climbed all over the place, cried every time she didn't get what she wanted, and the parents did nothing. I mean nothing at all to stop her! When the plane was getting ready to land, the girl didn't want to put on her seatbelt, and the parents didn't try to make her. They asked her if she would put it on. She said no. So they didn't ask her again. The steward and stewardess had to come around multiple times and say something. The final time the mom was like, "she doesn't want to wear it." and the stewardess said she had to. So the mom actually made the stewardess put the seatbelt on the kid.

The only saving grace for me was that I was behind the kid and not in front. The couple in front of the kid had it way worse, because she kept kicking and grabbing the seats in front. They had way more patience that I would have in that situation.

Airlines should implement a policy if your child is unruly, they can fine you. This would generate revenue for the struggling airlines, and motivate parents to actually be parents for a few hours.