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Friday, August 28, 2009

Airline Humor

With the airlines and airports back in the news lately for doing what they do best - provide crappy service, I thought I'd post a little airline imagery.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Great Delivery UPS

Thanks UPS for doing such a fantastic job delivery my package. It’s not too often that I receive something that has tire tracks from actually being driven over.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Round Peg Square Whole

“You can’t fit a round peg in a square whole.” Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be that round peg? Let’s say you are the round peg living in a box of square pegs. All the square pegs know you don’t fit in, and you know you don’t fit in, but you are in the toy box with them, so you pretend to be as square as you can pretend to be. There is no option to get out of the box, as you've been in it too long and the lid is closed. So, what’s a round peg to do? The round peg just hangs out with the square pegs, trying to fit in as best as a round peg can, waiting for the times that someone will try to fit the round peg into that square whole. And someone always does try, and it always fails. So the peg gets thrown back into the box, instead of moved to a box of round pegs where it belongs.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Utopia or Dystopia?

You ever watch one of those sci-fi movies projecting a dystopian world, thinking that could never happen, or at least not in my lifetime. Does a dystopian world have to be post apocalyptic? Does it have to be in the works of fiction writers? According to Wikipedia dystopian is, "characterized by poverty, oppression, war, violence, disease, pollution, nuclear fallout and/or the abridgement of human rights, resulting in widespread unhappiness, suffering, and other kinds of pain".

Relevant to our current society?

Poverty - about 25,000 people die every day of hunger or hunger-related causes. With about 32.3 million people living below the official poverty level, making a poverty rate of 11.8%. In 2005, one out of three urban dwellers (approximately 1 billion people) was living in slum conditions.

Oppression - Most recently we've seen Iran arresting protesters. China, one of the largest communist countries in the world is becoming the worlds largest economy. Ever heard of North Korea, Myanmar (Burma), or Sudan? "Oh but that's over there, we don't do that in America." We've had a civil war over slavery, we still have reservations for the Indians we've kicked off there land. McCarthyism in the 50's. We have laws that require permits to march and protest. The CIA regularly detains and integrates in secret suspected terrorists. Illegal government wire tapping, the creation of the department of homeland security, peoples names being added to airline watch lists. The FCC regulates what we watch on television or hear over the radio. Don't think we see government oppression? Just because it's not blatant, doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

War - world wide spending on the military comes to about 780 Billion dollars each year, with the United States spending about 12 billion a month on the Iraq war alone. To put that in prospective, less than one percent of what the world spends every year on weapons is needed to put every child into school. The news almost daily provides updates on the Iraq war, the war in Afghanistan, the wars in the middle east, war in Africa, conflict in South East Asia, and so on.

Violence - We have hate crimes against gays and lesbians, we have Muslims killing Christians, and Christians killing Muslims. We have movies, video games, and television full of killing and violence against others. We see more violence in a day, than we see two people kissing, making love, or being good to one another.

Disease - It was Bird flue, now it's Swine Flue. Who knows what next year will bring.

Pollution - Global warming, melting ice caps, mercury in our fish, The Great Pacific Garbage Patch. About a third of all mammals are endangered. We have species going extinct at an unprecedented rate, due to man made pollutants.

Nuclear fallout - not yet, although the U.S. has spent billions of dollars on a missile defense system. North Korea is testing missiles, and the number of countries capable of building nuclear bombs is increasing.

Human rights violations - Abu Ghraib Prison will always be remember for the human rights violations that went on there. We still have people held in Guantanamo Bay without trial. Whenever there is a war or a conflict, there are human rights violations that go along with it.

Unhappiness, suffering, and other kinds of pain - Americans pay more for prescription drugs than any other country in the world. We spend about 200 billion dollars on medications, with 34 billion dollars spent on alternative medicine. In fact we take so many narcotics, that are drinking water is becoming contaminated with it. Sounds like a lot of unhappy, suffering, and in pain people to me.

For anyone reading who might be thinking, "it's not that bad." lets look at the opposite- utopia. According to Wikipedia again, a utopian society encompass perfect socio-politico-legal system, an Ecological utopia, Economic utopia, Religious utopia, Scientific and technological utopia an earthly paradise

Hmmm, sounds like the scale leans more towards dystopia than utopia to me.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Nissan LEAF

While GM is still plugging away on the Chevy Volt a gas/electric car, Nissan is right on the heals of Tesla with the Nissan LEAF an all electric vehicle, expected to be on roads in 2010.

The all electric LEAF is a compact five-door hatchback with room for four. The LEAF won't get quite the mileage as the Tesla Model S, with the current estimates on the LEAF at 100 miles per charge. But as a low cost daily all electric commuter, I think it should sell pretty well.

Friday, August 14, 2009

From Twitter to Newspeak

OMG! In further proof of the dumbing down of society, or that that Goerge Orwell might have been more prolific than previously thought. An author has recently decided to use the latest fad Twitter, to publish his novel 140 characters at a time, according to a story at scitech. For those who haven't read the book Nineteen Eighty-Four, it was written in the late 1940's about the year 1984 where a totalitarian regime is always watching and controlling the population, through the promotion of blind obedience. One of the ways they do this is through newspeak, an abbreviated version on the English language. With twitter being the latest fad, and people lol'ing there way through a text message or IM conversation, while they talk about their x-mas plans or the item they have 4 sale on e-bay, how long will it be before we see a dictionary of newspeak to tell us all the meaning of the abbreviated words we need to know? "It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words" one of the characters on the novel tells us. With the average black man talking like he's from the ghetto, even though he's never been to one. Or the average white man talking like he's from the deep south, even though he lives in the pacific northwest. Or the ever increasing Mexican population not even bothering to learn the language. How long will it be before we see our language reduced to a bunch of gibberish? Not in my lifetime!?!?! Maybe, maybe not.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A Guys Perfect Jon

Sent from a cranky reader...

I just got back from having drinks with the girls and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. One of my girlfriends is having some bladder problems. I know what your thinking. She must be old and probably not in good shape... Totally the opposite. She's about 35 awsome body and very cute. Anyway, her doctor sent her to a physical therapist who specializes in keegal (don't know how to spell it ) exercises. She is to see this therapist every week for a month were they practice doing all different kinds of exercises. She practices on her own for about 10minutes than he yes he measures her success by by sticking his fingers up her vagina and feeling the size of her bladder and how tight she can make herself. If this does not work she will than be shown how to use circular toys to make her tighter. Now if this isn't bad enough her therapist is really kind of cute and not married. The only good thing about this besides us having the best laugh ever was she gave us all the instruction on how to do proper keegal exercises and if she needs it we all get some toys. So If any of you men or women need a new job this might be something to look into

Monday, August 10, 2009

Chase and Coal Companies

Through various acquisition, JP Morgan Chase now owns most banking I use. So it would be nice if that company were a little more responsible in it's policies.

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Like Working with Children

How my job equates to being a teacher and working with young children.

  1. Have to hold hands. My job consists of making sure others are doing there job, and not upsetting them in the process.
  2. Be careful of swearing or saying anything offensive, like kids we don't want to offend or they might cry, so will the developers and PM at Microsoft.
  3. When they get upset about something they will pout or cry.
  4. Have to talk down to them, so they will understand - dumb it down.
  5. Presentation need lots of color and bubbles. The 07 version of Power Point has lots of great ways of making that presentation look cool to keep their attention
  6. Need to provide them with playtime (aka moral builders).
  7. If they go without enough sleep, or are sick, they will get cranky.
  8. If they do a good job, they get a prize. Ie, plaque, certificate, or a kudos in a e-mail
  9. If they do a bad job, they get rewarded as well, because we wouldn't want anyone to feel bad
  10. The teachers/bosses pet get's the promotion, sweet jobs, and primo office

Monday, August 03, 2009

...Because You're Single

Sent from a cranky reader...

Not your normal blog but I thought I would send it anyway. I just got back from a vacation with the family. My kids and I had a great time but I almost killed my family.

We rented a house (that I found ) it had 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and a private pool. Grandma and Grandpa got one room, makes since. My brother in-law and his wife got another and they brought a friend who got the other room. I got the couch in the great room with all the kids! I went to my mother in-law( actually ex mother in-law ) and told her I was going to take the other bedroom. Her response was " Her husband MIGHT be coming up later so then were would he sleep" I said it was not my problem. When or if he does come then I will move back out to the couch. It was then brought to my attention well you are single so no matter what sleeping on the couch was not a big deal but her and her husband could not fit on the couch. Fine, I' ll take the couch. Her husband came up a day later and that left me on the couch and sharing a bathroom with 5 children, again not a big deal "because I was single " and only need a bathroom with a shower. I did not need a sunken tub in my bathroom because I had nobody to share it with. The real kicker was the romantic nights in the pool that I just don't understand "because I am single" I let this all go because I decided I was just going to have a great time with my kids. I was fine until I got back from my vacation and found out my girls vacation we had planned to the wineries has been changed to staying at a friends cabin because her husband doesn't think it's a good idea for a bunch of women to hang out and drink at the spa for 3 day's. Whatever! I called my friend and again after a long conversation I got "you just don't understand cause your single" I just want to know what the HELL does that have to do with anything.

I maybe single but that does not mean I'm not seeing anyone. I am seeing someone and just because we are not married or even getting married, ever. We still have respect for each other, I trust him and he trust me. We still do whatever we want. I think that's the problem with everyone. No body trust anybody and God forbid they do anything by themselves or have a life of there own. I am glad I'm single.