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Friday, April 30, 2010

Arizona vs. Immigrants, and Liberals vs. Arizona

“Boycott Arizona,” they are yelling. “How the hell could they do that,” they say. “Cancel those conventions.” What did Arizona do that has managed to offend so many in this country? They passed a law that allows officers to question people they suspect of being an illegal immigrant. Basically they have a bunch of Republicans who don’t like them there Mexicans coming up here and taken all our awesome jobs.

You might think that I’d come out against this law. But to be honest I think it’s a little much to do about nothing. So what? Police have the right to ask Hispanics for ID. Sure it’s racial profiling, but the person being asked for ID can show it, and go on their merry way.

Ever travel in another country? I have. And one of the things you always make sure to do is carry your passport with you. Why do you do this? In case anyone asks for ID. And same rule applies, show it, and move on.

And that’s really what I think people should do here: If the person is legal, than they can show ID and move on. If they aren’t then they get shipped back home to sneak across the border again at a later date. And to be honest, are cops really going to spend a lot of time checking Hispanic peoples ID’s? No, because arresting illegal immigrants creates paper work, and doesn’t generate revenue. The cops have more important things to do, like write speeding tickets to working and tax-paying citizens.



Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Death By Power Point


There is a news story today in the New York Times about the military being crippled by that super fantastic product known as Power Point. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating but it is pretty interesting to note the number of complaints members of the military have about how Power Point dependant they have become.

I’ve spent quite a few years working for Microsoft, the company who owns the Power Point product, and can image the frustration the military feels; and the negative impact it has to creativity, productivity, and personality.

Here are a few quotes from the article:

- “PowerPoint makes us stupid,” Gen. James N. Mattis of the Marine Corps. – Most of the people I’ve seen move up in management positions can put together a great Power Point deck, can basically manage all their projects in Power Point, and quite a few could be confused for an actual retarded person. So yeah, this quote is valid.

- It’s dangerous because it can create the illusion of understanding and the illusion of control,” General McMaster said – Oh hell yes! How many presentations have I sat through that provide no real information, yet give the presenter the illusion of knowing what they are talking about? So many I can’t count. My claim to fame is spending a good 3 to 6 months in a contract at Microsoft where the end result was a 30 page power point presentation that contained no majorly useful information. After that contract was up the same group hired me back later for another contract, partially because I did such a good job to first time around

- “Commanders say that behind all the PowerPoint jokes are serious concerns that the program stifles discussion, critical thinking and thoughtful decision-making.” Ever sat in a meeting that consisted of sleeping through a presentation with very little discussion on the content of that presentation? I have.

“Last year when a military Web site, Company Command, asked an Army platoon leader in Iraq, Lt. Sam Nuxoll, how he spent most of his time, he responded, “Making PowerPoint slides.” When pressed, he said he was serious.” – when not attending a meeting that didn’t need to happen, I tend to spend a large portion of my day creating presentations for those meetings. My buddy Eccentri City (who posts here on occasion) spent quite a bit of time on a contract assignment throwing together a Power Point with graphs, bubbles, and animations. The end product looked great, and after he presented it, it was never seen from again.

check out the full article for more



Saturday, April 24, 2010

On Producing Humans

This weeks cranky contribution comes from my super sexy gal pal, Quorri Scharmyn

And BTW, I totally agree with her rant here...

Two things: stop assuming I am a baby factory and stop expecting me to be super stoked that you are having ten trillion of the disgusting creatures.

I am a woman, I am intelligent, I am attractive, and all of my reproductive capabilities would have been in order had I not chosen to dismember them. I have a successful career and am financially stable. Before I became voluntarily sterilized, people assumed that these qualities meant that I would have children. The part that is retarded about this is that no one assumes the same about men. No one walks up to a man of a similar situation and asks, “So, when are you going to have children?” Plus, when men choose to get sterilized, doctors generally don’t tell them they can’t do it because they aren’t married yet or haven’t had children yet. This is so very messed up. It took me seven years of pleading and begging and searching and dealing before I found a doctor who would perform sterilization on me. Every man I’ve ever talked to who has done the same exact procedure has found one on the first try.

And, seriously, when you ask me when I’m going to have kids and I tell you never, stop responding with some version of, “You’ll change your mind,” with that mental, supposedly knowing look that is often paired with a wink. No, I won’t change my mind, you blinking moron. Fifteen straight years of being absolutely solid on this matter has proven that. And I’m pretty sure my fallopian tubes are made up even more than my mind is, anyhow, so it wouldn’t matter even if I did somehow decide that slobbering bags of poop production were the best thing for my future. Besides, let’s get real, you telling me that I will change my mind about not having kids is like me asking you, “So, when did you decide to get pregnant? Oh, well, you’ll change your mind, don’t worry. It’ll happen, sooner or later.” That would be rude. That would be in bad taste. Just like it is when you do it.

Why are women supposed to have baby production as their main goal in life, anyway? Why is it so strange to so many people that I think letting a literal parasite take over my entire body and every single, vital system I have a disgusting prospect? Why is it so strange to people that I truly love my life as it is and absolutely never want to give up the majority of my time, money, and peace of mind for a little sack of flesh that will thanklessly produce mounds of fecal matter and sputum for me to dispose of, only to then develop the ability to speak and think for itself so that it can spite me intentionally? No thanks. Plus, I like my girly parts firm and intact not stretch marked, ripped up, and worn out.

Important side note: my nipples are for sucking only sexually, not for feeding other humans.

So, it goes almost without saying that I am also not stoked when other people decide to ruin their bodies, minds, bank accounts and self esteem in order to be sick for nine months and then miserable for another 18-24 years. Yay for you, if you’re doing it, but don’t expect me to be as enrapt as you are by the little thing’s developmental successes which, by the way, every single human on the face of the planet has also likely experienced. Your child is only special and wonderful to you, the rest of us are bored shitless by it and want you to shut up.

Last thought: babies add “9,441 metric tons of CO2 to a parent's collective carbon footprint.” (Huffington Post) That means that, before you call me selfish for wanting to live my life for myself instead of for a whiny brat raised in a society that forces it to be an entitled, vapid, shallow idiot, think about who is really being selfish. You will be someone who gave up the planet’s health to indulge your own personal desire to pass on your flawed genetics, I will be someone who led a happy life and contributed less to the planet’s demise. Who is selfish now?




Friday, April 23, 2010

Comedy Central Folds to a Radical Muslim Group

More proof that radical messed in the head Muslims are winning. Last weeks episode of South Park featured Mohammed dressed up in a bear costume. When some radical Muslims in New York found out about it, they threatened the creators of the shows lives.

Proving that such threats work, the executives as Comedy Central censored the show, doing things like bleeping out the use of the name Mohammed from the show. Apparently it’s not enough to just not show the guy, you can’t even say his name out of fear. And not only that, if you want to watch the so-called controversial episode, you can’t, because it’s not available on the comedy central site for the same reason right now. In that episode they make fun of Jesus and Buddha, yet the only religion that caused controversy is the Muslim religion.

Jon Stewart and the Daily Show has what I believe to be the appropriate response.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
South Park Death Threats
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party



Thursday, April 22, 2010

Earth Day 2010

It’s been 40 years since earth day started, and what has it accomplished? Not much. Some recent polls show fewer people believe in global warming, although the proof continues to build. More and more people are born every day, taking a toll on our overtaxed planet. and yet a few, the minority in our right-wing country, still try to get the word out to save the planet.




Good for them, although I think it might be a losing battle. Maybe we should all just run wild, drink, do drugs, fuck, and have a merry time instead. Better to go out having a good fun than lamenting the inevitable.




Monday, April 19, 2010

Trash on Top of the World

When we hear about Mt. Everest, we think about going where only a few have gone before, and peace and tranquility when finally reaching the top. At 29,028 feet, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain of the world and must have a fantastic view that only a few have seen. To be exact, about 4,000 climbers have seen. Well, here is proof that we are a dirty bunch of people, slobs no-matter where we go in this world. There is about 50 tons of trash just piled up on the mountain from those climbers. Because when enjoying the beauty of the world’s tallest mountain, you don’t want to be burdened with carrying out your own trash.











Monday, April 12, 2010

Microsoft Sucks?

As anyone who has read this blog know, I enjoy trash talking Microsoft just as much as anyone. But my trash talking has more to do with the people who work there than the actual products. Although, at times the products do kind of suck (Vista anyone). So, I decided to do a quick internet search for Microsoft sucks, and found a Microsoft sucks website, which… totally sucks. You would think that a bunch of internet geeks could come up with something better than a poorly designed “forum to expose the dark side of Microsoft Corp and its products.”

There is a survey that tells us there are a total of 325 “Microsoft Sucks Pages” out there, so I decided to do a little more searching for a good website that trash talks Microsoft:

- I found some crappy videos on Google videos and YouTube.
- The I Hate Microsoft website did design the site to look like crap in Internet Explorer, motivating people to go to the site in a another companies browser. Although after navigating to the site in Firefox, I still found it to be a totally lame and uninteresting site.
- Someone wrote a freakishly long rant about why he hates Microsoft, with sub-pages and all. So long that I doubt anyone in our short attention span country would actually read it.
- Another one refers to Bill Gates as the anti-Christ. Which provides a few stories anecdotal stories, on a poorly formatted webpage.
- It appears that most all formats for a website dedicated to hating Microsoft must be white, with standard black text only. Very little formatting and in many cases some Google ads across the top or bottom of the boring design of the page.

So what does my brief search for Microsoft haters tell me? It tells me that maybe some of these people hate the products because they have no tech skills of their own. Sure, Microsoft sucks in a lot of ways. They take or buy other companies ideas. They design and release products knowing they are flawed. They release new versions regularly so as to sell upgrades. And of course, they treat their contracted employees like crap. But to all the Microsoft haters out there, I’ve worked for quite a few large corporations and they are not really any different from Microsoft. It’s not like Apply promotes the use of other companies products. It’s not like AT&T treats its employees any better. And it’s not like Starbucks builds its coffee shops across the street from the mom and pop coffee shop to help increase coffee sales for that store.







Thursday, April 08, 2010

Teabonics part. 3

Okay, if I’m going to trash talk conservative protesters who can’t spell yesterday, I should trash talk the liberal protestors as well. The interesting thing about my search using the same query, it was much harder to find examples of liberal misspellings.







Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Teabonics part. 2

I’ve never been one for proper grammar and spelling, but after posting last week about a McCain fan holding his sign misspelled, I thought I would do an internet search for “protester misspellings” to see what came back. The interesting thing about the results where how many came back as misspellings by teabaggers, conservatives, right-wingers, and the supposed morally righteous.


Maybe you should get a brain “moron”


Yeah “whose” side are you on?



These students should spend a little more time in class and a little less time making signs.



I’m thinking if you can’t spell socialist you probably don’t even know what one is.


I'm outraged at "your" spelling.





I wonder if Mitt can spell Washington. At least someone noticed.





Why is it so hard for these people to spell socialist?




Maybe Fox news should also add spelling hour to its program line up to keep its viewers “informed.”




And this lady had a crisis of “incompetence.”



If English is your language, you’d think you could actually spell it without “exception.”




I love how many anti-Mexico protest signs can’t seem to actually use the English language.



“Amnesty” from what?





Or afford.




Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Meetings Making People Dumber

Finally an answer to why most managers in large corporations are retarded. A study on group thinking has found that, “brainstorming sessions backfire when group thinking clouds decisions.”

Basically what they are saying is that when one person speaks up fewer alternative ideas are thought of. Most corporate managers spend the majority of their days in meetings. My guess is they hear an idea and stick with it from then on. Slowly over time they lose the ability to think outside the box, and discourage others from doing so, and in the end every mind begins to think the same. This is why people who work for large corporations all start thinking the same, praising each other’s ideas that aren’t original, and end up as pretty much the same person. At least that’s my take on it.

Here’s a link to the actual news report on the study.




Saturday, April 03, 2010

Help Stop the Chihuly Glass Museum at the Seattle Center

The Seattle Center, Space Needle, and the money making goons want to take away more public space at the Seattle Center and build a Chihuly glass museum seem to think it’s a done deal. But, Mayor Mike McGinn said, “Whatever we decide, we are not going to do something the public doesn’t like.” So people, it’s up to Seattle residents to let him know that the public does not support a giant glass homage to the one-eyed-willy known as Dale Chihuly. Anyone who has driven to downtown Seattle can’t miss the eye-sore known as the EMP. Do we really need another privately owned butt-ugly building right next to it, a building that would take away the fun forest and open space that was originally proposed to replace it?

An unofficial poll on the Strangers website shows that most of its readers oppose the museum. And according to a recent stream of comments on the Seattle Times site, it doesn’t appear their readers like the idea either. So if most Seattle residents oppose the idea than who is for it? Anyone who can make money from it, selling glass crap to tourists, that’s who.




Contact information for the mayor and Seattle city council:

Mayor Mike McGinnPhone: (206) 684-4000Email: http://slog.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/mike.mcginn@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Seattle Center Director Robert Nellams(206) 684-7330Email: robert.nellams@seattle.gov
Richard Conlin, Council PresidentPhone: (206) 684-8805Email: mailto:richard.conlin@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Sally BagshawPhone: (206) 684-8801Email: mailto:sally.bagshaw@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Tim BurgessPhone: (206) 684-8806Email: mailto:tim.burgess@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Sally J. ClarkPhone: (206) 684-8802Email: mailto:sally.clark@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Jean GoddenPhone: (206) 684-8807Email: mailto:jean.godden@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Bruce Harrell Phone: (206) 684-8804Email: mailto:bruce.harrell@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Nick LicataPhone: (206) 684-8803Email: mailto:nick.licata@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Mike O'BrienPhone: (206) 684-8800Email: mailto:mike.obrien@seattle.gov?subject=Don
Tom RasmussenPhone: (206) 684-8808Email: mailto:tom.rasmussen@seattle.gov?subject=Don






Friday, April 02, 2010

Teabonics

What happens if you get tea-bagged in the head to often? You get further proof that liberals are smarter than conservatives.

As most of my regular readers know, grammar and spelling are not my best set of skills. But there are things I can spell, and if unsure I can always turn to the person next to me and hope they can spell the word I’m looking for. Or worse case scenario, I can use spell check or dictionary.com.



That’s right, feedom isn’t free, feedom costs a buck o'five…





Thursday, April 01, 2010

Arkansas: Bill Halter for U.S. Senate

As we all know by now, the recent Health Care bill passed by congress did not include a public option. The public option was opposed by the insurance industry and the republican tea bagging cronies, because it would have forced insurance companies to compete and provide lower rates. Well it wasn’t just republicans that forced the public option to get dropped, it was also democrats like Sen. Blanche Lincoln from Arkansas. Senator Lincolns response on why she didn’t vote for the public option? "I don't answer to my party." So, Arkansas democrats it’s up to you to vote someone in who does support his party and his constituents. The Arkansas primary is May 18th and Lt. Governor Bill Halter is running against the well funded Senator Lincoln. Bill Halter has stated, “I'm running as a proud Democrat...I will not run away from the beliefs we all share.” Those beliefs include the public option.

If Arkansas wants a senator who is a republican they should vote one into office. If they want a democrat as a senator, they should vote a real democrat into office. You can support Bill Halters campaign by going here

Watch this ad by Blanche Lincoln. She basically voted no on everything. Hmmm, sounds an awful lot like the party of no (republicans) to me.




Bill Halter ad. Sure, he sounds like a typical politician, but hey, he can’t be any worse than what’s already there. And at least he seems to be proud to be a democrat, unlike Lincoln who seems to avoid mentioning that fact.