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Monday, March 31, 2008

Read the Monkey

I realize that I'm not going to be changing the world with this blog. I realize that the majority of my readers are friends or co-workers. I also realize that beyond that audience, the majority of the people who visit this site are offended at the content or grammar, and usually leave never to return. Now having said all that, I'd like to think that this blog isn't that bad, and I do have a decent hit rate. After all , I'm sure it was my hatred of Mitt Romney that helped sway the republican voters towards McCain. And my opposition to a few new tax initiatives here in Seattle that helped keep them from going into effect. I'd also like to hope that my commentary on corporate America will help change the way companies to business in the long run, as my co-workers are promoted and move up the ladder to management.

According to cnet.com a blog is created every half second, with over 1 million posts every day. And according to NITL there are about 3 million blogs in existence.

So I decided to start browsing blogger, and some of the blogs out there, and see what other people are writing about. And after doing so, I realized I don't give myself enough credit. And why the hell aren't more people reading this blog, because compared to some of the crap I found, I provide some damn good content!

Let's look at some of the other weblogs I compete with for readership:
Nate and Jess - "We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. For more information on our faith, visit www.mormon.org" Do I need to say anything else or is the description they provide enough.
Hubbard Studio - "Oh, a photography site" I thought, "That might be interesting." Well it's not!
Nonsense or pinkchic0404 - on March 26, you can see a picture of a kitten with a stuffed frog on it's head. If it weren't on the head of a cat, I'd call it animal abuse.
(Most of) The Year in Pictures - A low quality, out of focus picture of some trees. It has an orange blur in the background of a train. It's "impressionistic". It could be, it also could be crap, depending on your point of view.
Breathemamabreathe - Look ma, pictures of flowers. like we've never seen that before, I can't wait for the sunset behind some mountains picture I'm sure this blogger is working on.
The Strong Family - "Lezlee, the luckiest stay at home mother, PRN ER RN and wife! Brad, the towns greatest dentist, father and husband! Luke, the cutest one year old rascal who loves trains, blankies and binkies! We are so blessed!" Awwww shucks, how fantastic is that. And look pictures of the baby, how cute, because everyone wants to look at your baby's pictures, I know I do.

I skipped past the foreign language ones, since I only read "American". And I did occasionally stumble on a blog that could be considered interesting, like the photography site SolJourneys. But for the most part, the majority of the blogs I looked at were as interesting as the ones I mentioned. So all you internet savvy, left leaning, pseudo-hippies, add The Cranky Monkey to your RSS feeds today. The grammar might suck, but at least it's interesting to read.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Randall Stephenson Doesn't Get It

A buddy of mine forwarded me this article this morning on how at&t is having a hard time finding skilled workers. According to CEO Randall Stephenson, "We're having trouble finding the numbers that we need with the skills that are required to do these jobs." He goes on by blaming the high school dropout rate as the cause. I was going to respond to how out of touch with reality Stephenson is, and comment on how terrible of a company at&t is to work for, but my nemesis over at The Rooster Strikes beat me to it. So just read his post instead.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Screw You, Your BMW, and Your Plasma TV

Yesterday on the drive in to work, the traffic was crappy and slow. But I eventually reached the cause of the traffic, a car wreck. I did my typical swearing at the dumb ass drivers who caused the wreck, and the dumb assed drivers who have to slow down and stare at it. I then went on into work, found my usual parking spot and continued on through the day.

Today! I hit the highway only to find the traffic just as bad as it was yesterday, except for there was no wreck. It was just people driving really slow. Also, since there was no wreck there wasn't a point where the traffic cleared up and moved at normal speed. So the whole drive was slow. After spending nearly an hour on the highway I decided to get off and take a few of the arterials. But they were just as bad. And the other side roads? Also just as bad. When listening to the traffic updates on the radio, apparently everywhere was bad. Some of the overall traffic was accidents, but apparently most of it was just heaving traffic. As far as I can tell, everyone in Western Washington decided to go for a drive this morning. After spending an hour and half to go the 19 miles to work, I finally made it. But, since it took me so long to get to work, many of the parking spots were taken, and I was stuck parking far away from the door. I wasn’t able to take a carpool spot, because my POS carpool buddy went and found a new job, so Microsoft took my carpool permit away. And, since I wasn't able to get my normal spot I had to park in a compact parking spot, which of course means someone will probably ding my door.

At this point in the story I finally made it to work, made it to my office, and started the 20 minute process known as powering up my Windows Vista laptop. I went to the break room, made a cup of tea, and back to my office to finish waiting on the startup process, only to find I wasn't pay attention and grabbed some nasty orange tea. Went back to the break room, made another cup of tea, and back to my office to continue the waiting process. And listen to the loud mouth jackass in the office next to me, who has no concept that people work in the office building with him.

I'm not done bitching today! So the writers strike has been over for a month now, so you would think that we would finally have something worth watching on TV. But no! I was home Monday night and actually wanted to sit down and vedge. But no! it's practically all reality TV. I had the option of 2 hours of dancing with the stars. Some crappy assed game shows, like "look how dumb we've become as a country". I could have watched "Oprah" the racist snatch, prefaced by "I'm not really a Dr. Phil". Or how about "House". Oh jeez, what's House going to do this week that will almost get him fired, and piss people off, but won't because in the end he will be right.

I don't know why real doctors are so stingy about Valium prescriptions. Wouldn't the world be a better place if it were easier to get! They act like regular prescription drug use is abuse and a bad thing.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008


One of the things about working where I do is, I can have one day with no work at all, and the next be totally swamped. Yesterday was one of the former. So like many other office employees, I was killing time by playing solitaire. I didn't want to play on my computer, so I decided to play the version that comes with my iPod. On my computer or with cards, I occasionally win a game. Against my iPod I always loose... always. I mentioned this to my buddy The Rooster, only to find out he has the same problem. Has anyone ever finished a game of solitaire on the thing? Or this this just some lame joke by Steve Jobs and the Apple crew?

I'll add this to the list of reasons that when this one breaks I'm buying something else. Now I just need another company to come out with an MP3 player that has solitaire on it.

Monday, March 24, 2008

4,000 For 6 Years

For those of you who haven't heard, we hit the 4,000 dead soldiers mark this Sunday in the Iraq war. The Seattle PI did a quick story on it, and pointed out that 97 percent of those deaths were after George Bush declared major combat over. But hey, on the flip side, at least we've only lost 4,000 U.S. troops. It was nice of the PI to only focus on our loss, and not even bother mentioning the approximate 90,000 Iraq's killed since the war started. You know, the people we are there to protect.


Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"Finland, Finland, Finland, The Country Where I Want to Be"

I heard about this story on the drive in to work this morning, and it is further proof why Europe is way cooler than America. It took me a while to find and validate the story, since none of the U.S. news sites had it.

Here in America if a politician tries to work a three-way with a couple of girls, he gets shunned out of office. In Finland if a foreign minister sends text messages to a model and her sister trying to work a three-way, he gets a, niiiiiice dude. Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen, was caught sending about 200 text messages trying to work a three way with these two sisters.

The best part: he was recently ousted in a tell all book by a former lover as having broken up with her via text message. Oh wait, even better than that, with all this press Vanhanen has seen his popularity ratings "soar".

Click here for Full Story

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Management Trashes Again

One of the joys of working for Microsoft is the management. For example; one of the projects I was hired to work on launched a couple of weeks ago. It's basically internal software or a tool, that allows internal employees to request development changes to other pieces of software. It allows for prioritization, sorting, and a few other limited things. It's pretty basic but it does the job and people are actually using it. The main reason it's being used is that we designed it for simplicity. We were able to do this because, when creating it we tried to keep management as out of the process as possible. We had intended on rolling it out, and based on user feedback making improvement changes.

We'll, the tool has launched and at this point it's impossible to keep management away, and as expected they've started making changes, adding all kinds of crap and fields in the request form, and modifying the process. My prediction at this point is that the tool will be trashed and useless by the first of June. And if you don't believe me, another tool/software item this department created last year cost nearly half a million dollars to develop. It was never really utilized at launch, and has since been discontinued. Why? because management was involved through the whole design process.

Friday, March 14, 2008

"A person is A Person, No Matter How Small"

I heard about this on my drive into work this morning. And I would like to point it out as further proof that the anti-abortion conservatives are total nut bags. Apparently at the premiers of the new Dr Seuss movie, the anti-abortionist are handing out flyers and getting obnoxious about the line form the movie, "A person is a person, no matter how small" implying Dr Seuss was pro-life. Well first of all, according to the person who represents the Seuss estate, his wife, and any interview ever done with the guy, he didn't want his books to be used for any political agenda. And come on people, can't you just actually watch a movie and enjoy it, why does everything have to be used promote your agenda!

If you want to read more on this, do a fucking Google search. I don't feel like posting links today.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Eliot on the Out, After the Old In and Out

Everyone else is talking about it, so I will to. New York Democratic governor Eliot Spitzer was busted this week for hiring high priced call girls. To be honest, the fact that he is paying prostitutes for sex doesn't really bother me. Personally I think it should be legalized, regulated, and taxed like everything else. But that is for a different blog posting.

Obviously his wife is to blame for this, I can only assume she's not doing something for him at home that he had to go elsewhere for. And unlike most of his Republican counterparts, at least he was caught having sex with girls instead of picking up boys in seedy bathrooms. The only thing that really pisses me off about this guy, is as a prosecutor he made a name for himself by going after prostitution rings. Which of course makes him a hypocrite! And if there is one thing I can't stand in politics, it's hypocrisy.

Full Story on MSNBC

Monday, March 10, 2008

Fuck, Shit, Fuck, Fuck

The City Council in the town of South Pasadena California decided to pass a proclamation that "the first week of March as No Cussing Week" Yes, that's right, they've decided that cussing is offensive and they don't want it around. Even better, it wasn't the councils idea, or even the mayor, it was a 14 year old boy who had to tell his friends "I don't cuss. And If you want to hang out with me, you don't cuss." well you know what, you fucking little piece of shit kid, fuck you! Some people like cussing, some people enjoy using it as a method of expressing themselves, and some people just plain and simply like to see the look on little pussy boys faces when they say "shove it up your little cunt hole."

South Pasadena city council, you bunch of snatch faced fuck-tards, this is America, were we have something called freedom of speech. I know it gets regulated, banned, and people are shamed into not using it these days, but we still have it….. At least us bloggers do….. For now.

Full Story on CNN

Friday, March 07, 2008

A Bitter Week

I was thinking about my job this week and what a frustrating part of the Microsoft organization I work in. In the process of being frustrated and irritated with the management structure I deal with, I spoke to a few close coworkers. Only to find out that, I'm not the only one. I know big surprise right. I have one coworker who, like me, has no desire to accept a full time position within this group and is basically counting down the days till his contract us up. I have another coworker who is actually quitting, and today is her last day. She's not quitting because she has another job lined up, she quitting because she is simply tired of dealing with the crap she has to deal with on a daily basis.

When I think back to the people who were here over a year ago when I did my first contract with this group, most all of them have moved on. Some moved to different jobs within the company, some moved out of state, and I know of one for sure who also quit because she was tired of the BS, and just didn't want to work here anymore. Just so we are clear, I'm talking about both contractors and full time employees.

I know some people might be thinking, it can't be that bad, and in a lot of ways it’s not. I would still rather work here as a vender/contractor compared to working at AT&T Wireless as a full time employee. But having said that, it always amazes me, how a company can become a huge as Microsoft, yet have directors and upper managers who are totally and completely incompetent at their jobs. The only saving grace for me is, my immediate manager is actually a pretty good guy, probably due to the fact that he’s only worked for the company for about 9 months.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Negative Works

The big news on the drive in to work today is how Hillary Clinton won the primaries in Ohio and Texas. Everyone is talking about how this is a turn around for her, and how the Democrat primaries are going to draw out even longer. Something else that I would like to point out about this change for her, is what works in campaigning… Negative campaigning. Up until a few weeks ago, both Clinton and Obama were trying to stay positive in the ads and debates. But, when Clinton lost 11 primaries in a row, her ads turned negative and her speeches turned towards attacking. We all act like we prefer our politicians to stay positive and we don't appreciate negative advertising, but when it comes down to it, negative works. look people, they aren't going to stop unless the sheep of America start thinking outside of what they are told to think. Yes, that includes you Texas

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Boeing Babies

I'm sure most everyone who lives in Western Washington has heard the news about Boeing loosing a huge military tanker contract to Airbus. The thing that is pissing me off about this, is every ones attitude about it. Everyone is acting all shocked about it. It's like, they can't believe that the government would choose a foreign competitor over the U.S. company. Even if the competitor is offering, "twice the size of the Boeing aircraft, providing more tanker capacity, more passenger space if converted to air transport, and more space for patients if converted to the aero-evacuation mission," according to the Seattle PI. Not only that, according to one story, the Air Force had 5 criteria for success and Boeing failed 4 out of those 5.

Look Boeing and Boeing supporters, maybe the problem is you went in totally expecting to get the contract, you offered an inferior product, and you fucked yourselves!

So here's my response to all people crying about it: maybe Boeing shouldn't have just assumed they were getting the contract and should have made a better offer/product instead. Now stop your crying.