Showing posts from April, 2008

That's My Kind of Monkey

Or Orangutan if you want to get technical

Gun Totting Students at Virginia Tech

Last week was the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting. According an AP story in the Seattle PI, the dealer who sold one of the guns to Seung-Hui Cho used in the shooting visited the school. The dealer was speaking to a group of students who support providing them with the rights to carry concealed weapons on campus. I can see why people might have felt this was a little out of taste. But I actually agree with the goal. I know my liberal readers will disagree with me on this, but imagine this situation if a few of the students or teachers were allowed carry weapons. As anyone who followed the story knows, the local police were totally inept when it came to quickly resolving the shooting. But if a few gun savvy students were packing, I bet they would have resolved it with a much smaller final death toll. Cho would have rushed into a room, and found a few students with 45's pointed at his head.

Why did the United States and the U.S.S.R. never fire nuclear missiles at each other …

Police Academy Dropouts # 21

For the most part I’d like to support our judicial system, considering it has allowed us to be a productive society for quite a while now. But having said that, I do wonder sometimes if it's the best system.

You might remember this story; back in 2006 Sean Bell was out celebrating his bachelor party. Outside a strip club that he and a couple of his buddies just exited, he was shot and killed by police. His friends were also shot but lived. I do believe that the men did something to provoke the police. In general, most cops don't start shooting without reason. But having said that, Bell and his friends all turned out to be unarmed after the bullets stopped flying. And by bullets, I mean 50 total bullets. That's right folks, not only did the 3 cops involved shoot him, they shot him a lot. And continued shooting. Each cop would have had to eject the clip in his gun, and re-load to shoot that many bullets.

The cops involved in the shooting were just acquitted. They weren't a…

Piss Bowl Anyone?

Microsoft in it's attempts to build "green" recently opened up a new building on the campus. I've recently had the pleasure of holding a few meetings in the building, and have to say it's pretty nice. It has a nice large central forum, with huge skylights lighting the place. The conference rooms, have large windows in place of walls, and a lot of nice conference room features. The place has a relaxing little cafeteria, with a large outdoor seating area for the few days of the year we can use it.

Unfortunately since this is Microsoft, they can build something totally cool, yet include one major flaw. In this this case it's the men's room. In an attempt to save on water consumption they installed no flush urinals . As you can see, they are basically bowels in the wall. Good intentions, but the flaw of course is, since they don't flush, they don't flush. When walking into the men's room it smells typical at first, until you get to the urinals. The…

Top 10 Reasons To Hate Dr. Phil

10. His moustache.
9. Oprah. Do I need to say anymore?
8. "Dr. Phil had his producers bail out Mercades Nichols, one of the six teenage Florida cheerleaders accused of beating another girl, videotaping it and posting the footage on YouTube." Dr. Phil wanted her to come on his show. - Source TV.MSN
7. He's basically a Jerry Springer, but unlike Jerry who acknowledges his trash TV, Dr. Phil acts like he's above that.
6. He's overweight, yet he has people on his show and tells them to loose weight.
5. His continued time on the air and popularity is, further proof of the dumbing down of society.
4. He exploits and makes money from the suffering of his guests.
3. "In 1989, the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists imposed disciplinary sanctions against McGraw for what was deemed an inappropriate "dual relationship." McGraw admitted he hired one of his clients, a 19-year-old woman, to work in his office (can you say "breach of ethics"?), but…

Cranky Hits 300

That's right folks, this is posting number 300. I started this blog back in August of 2005 as a joke. Originally the blog was titled "The Men's Room" and was dedicated to the odd happenings in the men's room, at the AT&T Building I worked in. After a while though, it expanded into the wonderful ramblings of a Cranky Monkey that it is today. In honor of my 300th post, I decided it would be fun to look back at some of the fantastic reader comments I've received, from you all, my fantastic readers. Lets start with the first real comment I received. "Jesus. Cranky Monkey is a crock. My grandma is crankier than you." Well Anonymous, I certainly hope my posts since have lived up to your grandmothers standards. On Stereotyping the greatness of men, one anonymous female responded with a comment that "women can have an intelligent conversation's" Come on, only a crazy chick would think something like that. After one of my many tirades o…

Wal-Mart Sues Disabled Employee

This is actually old news but since it helps feed my negative disposition for Wal-Mart, I'm going to blog about it anyway.

A Wal-Mart employee was injured in an accident a while back. And is now she is disabled. She of course used her Wal-Mart medical plan for care. After the accident, she sued to liable party, won, and got a settlement out of it. Wal-Mart after paying her medical decided they wanted a piece of that money. The justification being, they paid her medical why shouldn't they get some of the money she got. So by that reasoning should everyone who works for Wal-Mart, who pays a premium each month but not actually use the insurance get to sue them, and get their money back. After all they paid and didn't use it.

MSN Video

Sneaky Apple

Since most everyone has iTunes, or some other Apple related product on their computer; you might have noticed something recently. I'm sure we've all seen this window pop up "New software is available from Apple". And we generally just look at this as a software update and hit install. But if you notice, Safari is one of those updates. Yes, it's not an update but a sneaky instillation of the Safari web browsers.

I recently unintentionally installed Safari, and besides not being impressed by it, I was a little irritated by the fact that they went through this method to get it on my computer. Imagine if Microsoft did something similar with it's Media Player or Zune updates. How many law suites do you think would have been filed against them? How many news stories or people throwing a fit on the internet would we find? Yet for some reason, I've seen no news on this, and little web traffic. Is it because Apple is everyones little darling, selling us the cute iP…

No One Wants to Look Dumb, Except

Recently a co-worker and I were in the Microsoft campus cafeteria and noticed large banners hanging all over the place. The banners has a slogan of "no one wants to look dumb" with the picture of some guy and an acoustic guitar on it. Beyond that, their wasn't much information. After trying to decide the point of the advertisement, we decided to go back to our desk's and look up the site. on the way back, we noticed posters in the office building with the same slogan.

After going to the site, the guy with the guitar walks out, strums a little, and sits down. After listening to some of the default songs, and looking at the scrolling across the bottom, sending each other some cheesy songs it allows you to make up, and checking the linkss we figured out what the site was about. The guy with the guitar isn't the dumb one, the dumb person is the person who's not using as their default search engine. That's right folks, Microsoft is saying the majority…

Big Harry Baby Deal

Are we so starved for Britney news that we've reduced ourselves to lapping up news about a pregnant man? Oprah (the antichrist)Winfrey just did a show about Thomas Beatie, who according to Yahoo Buzz has recently become an internet celebrity for getting pregnant.

For the people who haven't listened to any news story, surfed the net, or been in public over the past week; Thomas used to be a woman and is now living as a man. Thomas still has all the female reproductive organs. So, why the fuck do we care? She took hormones to look like a man, that's basically it. She has small boobs, a clit enlarged to look like a small penis, and face hair. How many women who look like that naturally have kids each year? Enough to the point that we don't see them on Oprah. But just because this girl is now living as a man, she gets her 15 minutes of fame?!?!?! We really are turning into a bunch of ignorant sheep.

No Really, It Doesn't Work

Working in corporate buildings, we of course have multiple conference rooms. All the conference rooms have phones for conference calls, and some projectors for presentations. In one of the smaller conference rooms the phone lines haven't worked since I've been here. I would assume people have said something to facilities, but for some reason the phone line hasn't been repaired. At one point a person brought in a second phone to the room, possibly thinking it might be the phone and not the outlet causing the problem. Well it wasn't, because now the room has two phones in it. And as you can see by this picture, there is now an old monitor, multiple lines, a hub, and a bunch of other crap. Anyway, using this room regularly (because it's a short walk from my office) I decided one day to take all the phones, cables and crap, and pile it on a table in the corner (not pictured).

Apparently the fact that everything was piled on a table in the corner didn't convince peop…