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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

That's My Kind of Monkey

Or Orangutan if you want to get technical


Monday, April 28, 2008

Gun Totting Students at Virginia Tech

Last week was the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shooting. According an AP story in the Seattle PI, the dealer who sold one of the guns to Seung-Hui Cho used in the shooting visited the school. The dealer was speaking to a group of students who support providing them with the rights to carry concealed weapons on campus. I can see why people might have felt this was a little out of taste. But I actually agree with the goal. I know my liberal readers will disagree with me on this, but imagine this situation if a few of the students or teachers were allowed carry weapons. As anyone who followed the story knows, the local police were totally inept when it came to quickly resolving the shooting. But if a few gun savvy students were packing, I bet they would have resolved it with a much smaller final death toll. Cho would have rushed into a room, and found a few students with 45's pointed at his head.

Why did the United States and the U.S.S.R. never fire nuclear missiles at each other during the cold war? I bet one reason had to do with the knowledge that the other side would shoot back. In this era of school shootings, maybe we should consider a solution that's a little outside the box. Let's empower people to protect themselves. Let's actually follow the second amendment to the Constitution and allow people the right to bear arms, and see how that effects school shootings.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Police Academy Dropouts # 21

For the most part I’d like to support our judicial system, considering it has allowed us to be a productive society for quite a while now. But having said that, I do wonder sometimes if it's the best system.

You might remember this story; back in 2006 Sean Bell was out celebrating his bachelor party. Outside a strip club that he and a couple of his buddies just exited, he was shot and killed by police. His friends were also shot but lived. I do believe that the men did something to provoke the police. In general, most cops don't start shooting without reason. But having said that, Bell and his friends all turned out to be unarmed after the bullets stopped flying. And by bullets, I mean 50 total bullets. That's right folks, not only did the 3 cops involved shoot him, they shot him a lot. And continued shooting. Each cop would have had to eject the clip in his gun, and re-load to shoot that many bullets.

The cops involved in the shooting were just acquitted. They weren't acquitted by a jury, but by the judge. Makes you wonder about our judicial system.

It's not often I side with the criminal, but it's even less often that I side with the police. The police, who in many cases are just as bad as the criminals.

Full Story on msnbc

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Piss Bowl Anyone?

Microsoft in it's attempts to build "green" recently opened up a new building on the campus. I've recently had the pleasure of holding a few meetings in the building, and have to say it's pretty nice. It has a nice large central forum, with huge skylights lighting the place. The conference rooms, have large windows in place of walls, and a lot of nice conference room features. The place has a relaxing little cafeteria, with a large outdoor seating area for the few days of the year we can use it.

Unfortunately since this is Microsoft, they can build something totally cool, yet include one major flaw. In this this case it's the men's room. In an attempt to save on water consumption they installed no flush urinals . As you can see, they are basically bowels in the wall. Good intentions, but the flaw of course is, since they don't flush, they don't flush. When walking into the men's room it smells typical at first, until you get to the urinals. Then you smell… urine. Since the toilets don't flush, they have no way of rinsing out the gallons and gallons of piss that go into them each day.



Let's hope they learned a lesson here. It's okay to want to conserve and save on the water bill, but don't take it to such an extreme next time.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Top 10 Reasons To Hate Dr. Phil


10. His moustache.
9. Oprah. Do I need to say anymore?
8. "Dr. Phil had his producers bail out Mercades Nichols, one of the six teenage Florida cheerleaders accused of beating another girl, videotaping it and posting the footage on YouTube." Dr. Phil wanted her to come on his show. - Source TV.MSN
7. He's basically a Jerry Springer, but unlike Jerry who acknowledges his trash TV, Dr. Phil acts like he's above that.
6. He's overweight, yet he has people on his show and tells them to loose weight.
5. His continued time on the air and popularity is, further proof of the dumbing down of society.
4. He exploits and makes money from the suffering of his guests.
3. "In 1989, the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists imposed disciplinary sanctions against McGraw for what was deemed an inappropriate "dual relationship." McGraw admitted he hired one of his clients, a 19-year-old woman, to work in his office (can you say "breach of ethics"?), but denied her claim of a sexual relationship" - Source TV.MSN
2. "His license to practice psychology was revoked and, from that point on, he has not been licensed to practice psychology at all" - Source TV.MSN
1. He's anti-pornography.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Cranky Hits 300

That's right folks, this is posting number 300. I started this blog back in August of 2005 as a joke. Originally the blog was titled "The Men's Room" and was dedicated to the odd happenings in the men's room, at the AT&T Building I worked in. After a while though, it expanded into the wonderful ramblings of a Cranky Monkey that it is today. In honor of my 300th post, I decided it would be fun to look back at some of the fantastic reader comments I've received, from you all, my fantastic readers.

  • Lets start with the first real comment I received. "Jesus. Cranky Monkey is a crock. My grandma is crankier than you." Well Anonymous, I certainly hope my posts since have lived up to your grandmothers standards.
  • On Stereotyping the greatness of men, one anonymous female responded with a comment that "women can have an intelligent conversation's" Come on, only a crazy chick would think something like that.
  • After one of my many tirades on the crappiness that is Cingular/AT&T Jam Mayer (CallCenterScript), apparently had a hard time reading the name at the top of the blog referring to me as "Cranky_Money"
  • Which leads to one of my favorite comments by Anonymous, on rednecks in Elk Washington breading (misspelled breeding). "Breading is what we in Elk use on our fried fish or fried chicken. If you meant "breeding," maybe you should have asked one of the Elk rednecks how to spell it" And it's true, I have bad spelling and grammar, after all, I'm the product of an eastern Washington education. And hey, I may not be able to spell incest without spell check, but at least I know what it means, anonymous.
  • After trash talking people who hide from the camera at picture time, one of those people was so kind as to refer to me as, "asshole" with a ;) after it.
  • Of course, after referring to the majority of my readers as Cunts. I received a plethora of comments, ranging from referring to me as a, "ass munching, cock sucking, cunt licking, dirty whore" to "I love your Blog, you're a creative writing genius!" and I might be taking that last quote out of context.
  • And a comments blog wouldn't be complete without mentioning my buddy over at the rooster strikes. It is thanks to his whacked out religious conservatism, that I've been able to enjoy many a heated debate on the subject.

    I could go on, but I do have a job after all. So , if I didn't mention a comment you left, don't be mad. After all I'm trying to remember back over 300 posts. Most of the ones mentioned I had to go back and look for. So feel free to comment again, maybe after the next 300 I'll talk about you.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Wal-Mart Sues Disabled Employee

This is actually old news but since it helps feed my negative disposition for Wal-Mart, I'm going to blog about it anyway.

A Wal-Mart employee was injured in an accident a while back. And is now she is disabled. She of course used her Wal-Mart medical plan for care. After the accident, she sued to liable party, won, and got a settlement out of it. Wal-Mart after paying her medical decided they wanted a piece of that money. The justification being, they paid her medical why shouldn't they get some of the money she got. So by that reasoning should everyone who works for Wal-Mart, who pays a premium each month but not actually use the insurance get to sue them, and get their money back. After all they paid and didn't use it.


MSN Video

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Sneaky Apple


Since most everyone has iTunes, or some other Apple related product on their computer; you might have noticed something recently. I'm sure we've all seen this window pop up "New software is available from Apple". And we generally just look at this as a software update and hit install. But if you notice, Safari is one of those updates. Yes, it's not an update but a sneaky instillation of the Safari web browsers.

I recently unintentionally installed Safari, and besides not being impressed by it, I was a little irritated by the fact that they went through this method to get it on my computer. Imagine if Microsoft did something similar with it's Media Player or Zune updates. How many law suites do you think would have been filed against them? How many news stories or people throwing a fit on the internet would we find? Yet for some reason, I've seen no news on this, and little web traffic. Is it because Apple is everyones little darling, selling us the cute iPod with the ever so cool iPhone, and Microsoft is the corporate tyrant buying up most any company that stands in its way? Well, as far as this cranky blogger is concerned the only thing Apples are good for, is baking into pies.

Monday, April 07, 2008

No One Wants to Look Dumb, Except MSN.com

Recently a co-worker and I were in the Microsoft campus cafeteria and noticed large banners hanging all over the place. The banners has a slogan of "no one wants to look dumb" with the picture of some guy and an acoustic guitar on it. Beyond that, their wasn't much information. After trying to decide the point of the advertisement, we decided to go back to our desk's and look up the site. on the way back, we noticed posters in the office building with the same slogan.

After going to the site, the guy with the guitar walks out, strums a little, and sits down. After listening to some of the default songs, and looking at the scrolling across the bottom, sending each other some cheesy songs it allows you to make up, and checking the linkss we figured out what the site was about. The guy with the guitar isn't the dumb one, the dumb person is the person who's not using msn.com as their default search engine. That's right folks, Microsoft is saying the majority of the population on the planet is dumb, because we use Google and Yahoo.

Great Microsoft, you spend a decent amount of money to advertise your search engine to your employees. I haven't seen these ads anywhere else. So really, who's the dumb ones here?

Friday, April 04, 2008

Big Harry Baby Deal


Are we so starved for Britney news that we've reduced ourselves to lapping up news about a pregnant man? Oprah (the antichrist)Winfrey just did a show about Thomas Beatie, who according to Yahoo Buzz has recently become an internet celebrity for getting pregnant.

For the people who haven't listened to any news story, surfed the net, or been in public over the past week; Thomas used to be a woman and is now living as a man. Thomas still has all the female reproductive organs. So, why the fuck do we care? She took hormones to look like a man, that's basically it. She has small boobs, a clit enlarged to look like a small penis, and face hair. How many women who look like that naturally have kids each year? Enough to the point that we don't see them on Oprah. But just because this girl is now living as a man, she gets her 15 minutes of fame?!?!?! We really are turning into a bunch of ignorant sheep.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

No Really, It Doesn't Work

Working in corporate buildings, we of course have multiple conference rooms. All the conference rooms have phones for conference calls, and some projectors for presentations. In one of the smaller conference rooms the phone lines haven't worked since I've been here. I would assume people have said something to facilities, but for some reason the phone line hasn't been repaired. At one point a person brought in a second phone to the room, possibly thinking it might be the phone and not the outlet causing the problem. Well it wasn't, because now the room has two phones in it. And as you can see by this picture, there is now an old monitor, multiple lines, a hub, and a bunch of other crap. Anyway, using this room regularly (because it's a short walk from my office) I decided one day to take all the phones, cables and crap, and pile it on a table in the corner (not pictured).




Apparently the fact that everything was piled on a table in the corner didn't convince people that the phones don't work. Because a couple of days later, I went back into the room for a meeting, and it was back to normal, phones piled, cords all over the place, and a person actually trying to get the phone to work. I politely let her know it wouldn't work no matter what outlet she plugged it into. She huffed away, as if it were my fault.

My boss and I, who were meeting, decided to write on the white board that the phone don't work so stop trying. We would love to have a little camera in the corner, to see how many people seeing the note still try using the phones. Or for that matter, how many don't see the note at all.

Note: As of the time of this posting, the phone still does not work in that room.