Showing posts from 2010

111th Congress Review

This last election a large number of Democrats were voted out of office by the tea-baggers, conservatives, and ignorant of this country, blaming them for the unemployment and general dissatisfaction in America right now.

But as many in the conservative-media have started reporting with the end of the year review news, this years government has actually done quite a bit. One article on MSNBC even states, "This Congress, ... accomplished more, legislatively, than any other Congress since the 1960s (the Great Society) or the 1930s (the New Deal)."

What will this mean for the next congress coming into office? Probably not as much action and a slower pace of recovery. Why am I predicting that? Because when the "party of no" spends more time blocking legislation than passing it, not much happens.

Some highlights of the 111th congress:

Health Care Reform - love it or hate it, at least they did it. It's unfortunate it didn't include the public option that would hav…

2nd Page of Bing Search Results

This is why more people use Google search over Bing search, and apparently why Google is better. Yesterday I posted about how this blog is 4th when searching for it in Google search, getting beat out by a bike race. Well, on Bing search it is even worse. This blog doesn't even make the first page of the search results. In fact, if you notice the 9th result on the list is a blog, also hosted on blogspot, called crank-monkey. So the crank-monkey is higher rated than mine, yet the one and only post on that blog is from March of 2009. The Cranky Monkey has been around since 2005, I have 702 posts on the site, and according to Google Analytics this blog has had 1,686 visitors over the last 30 days.

Yet the Bing search algorithm feels that I should be on the second page of results. Hey Microsoft, ever wonder why people are using Google instead of Bing, maybe relevancy of search results has something to do with it.

The Cranky Monkey Not Even in the Race

Every once in a while I do a Google search for The Cranky Monkey, just to see how this blog stacks up, and every time I'm on the first page but not at the top. Yep, I get beat by some Cranky Monkey Mountain Bike race ending up in 3rd or 4th place…

Come on! They don't even have the cool URL, it's just some people in tight shorts and mini-helmets riding mountain bikes on the dirt.

This blog has national politics. We trash talking the Democrats and Republicans, religious-right, and even the right-wing propagandist media machine . We have anti-children commentary, and pictures of hot chicks. We make fun of the police, and large corporations. And most importantly we provide history lessons and inform the slowing dumbing down U.S. population.

So come on Google searchers, get off the bikes and get on the real cranky monkey. Then, get offended and leave a comment about it.

Natalie Portman Married with Baby on the Way

It's a sad day in celebrity news. Not only is Natalie Portman engaged to be married, she's also pregnant with the fools baby. Now what celebrity am I supposed to lust over?

Read more here...

Fox News Hates on the Nissan Leaf

Who would have thought that a Fox (the right-wing-media) news reporter would talk shit about a Nissan Leaf. After all, we'd hate to have a car that will eventually be manufactured in America, providing job to American citizens succeed. Especially if that car is going to do something as horrible as help the environment and reduce Americas dependency on foreign oil.

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Low Taxes, Increased Deficit, and Everyone Wins and Looses

The big news from D.C. this week is that the Republicans actually voted yes on something. And why wouldn't they - the tax packaged that passed this week leaves in place the tax cuts for the rich. So, Republicans and there rich cat friends won't see there checks go down at all. Plus they were able to include a more generous estate tax, that would allow the rich to not get taxed as much when inheriting a 10 million dollar estate.

The funny thing about the estate tax, is that it's not like the richie-riches haven't already rolled there estates into some type of corporation, so they wouldn't get taxed anyway, but whatever.

And big deal, the un-funded Bush era, deficit increasing, tax cuts get to stay in place which helps me out personally. And should I ever achieve the American dream and become on of the 2% of Americans making over $200 thousand a year, I won't get taxed higher for my hard earned money.

I would like to note something about this new tax bill for the de…

iTunes Most Played – Not By Me

I’ve used Windows Media Player, Zune, and of course iTunes to listen to my music, plus a few others. Unfortunately, I use iTunes the most, because I have an iPod that just won’t die. The reason why I say unfortunately is, iTunes has to have the worst random algorithm out of any music player I have found.
I have over 20 gigs of music and when sitting at my computer I let it play on random most of the time. Yet, out of all that, there are about 300 songs that show zero in the number of times played. And the number one song on my most played list is Time Machine by Black Sabbath. A song I only have because I picked up the Wayne's World CD at some time back when I actually bought CD’s. If I remember correctly it was a few bucks at a used CD store.
Now, I have nothing against Black Sabbath, it’s just not my style of music. And since I don’t really like this song, I’ve personally never selected it to play for any reason. So, out of the music I’ve selected to play, and the music that iTun…

Dash Trash Tales vol. 4

I’ve done a few posts recently trash talking Microsoft with my Dash Trash Tales. So I think it is only fair that I trash talk a few of the contractors and venders I might have been portraying better than they deserve. Sure, they get treated like second class citizens in Microsoft City, but to Microsoft’s defense a few deserve that treatment. So here are a few deserving stories- all names changes for privacy purposes.

“Aaron” – Aaron was a vender hired on for some reason that those of us who worked with him could never quite figure out. We were working on a internal software project and somehow he was hired as a project manager with no real defined goals. His role as far as I could tell was attend meetings all day, offering his advice and talk a good game while actually not doing anything. Throughout the time we worked with him, he didn’t actually complete any task that was ever assigned to him – that I know of. Maybe he did and I was just not made aware of it.

Aaron, somehow managed to…

Watch Chuck!

Why are you people not watching Chuck!?!!? I know it's not a reality show. I know it doesn't have a bunch of dumb people doing dumb things, people who can't sing trying to sing, or D-list celebrities attempting to dance. But it is possible to broaden your horizons and occasional watch a scripted show with paid actors, that is not Law and Order or CSI.

Chuck has a hot blond chick kicking ass and a bunch of cheesy spy styled comedy, yet it's ratings are going down, not up. So all you Nielsen families need to reach your fat lazy arms over to the remote control and turn the television to NBC and watch some Chuck before the show gets canceled.

WikiHackers Attack MasterCard

The latest news in the battle of the world governments against WikiLeaks- hackers have come to the defense of WikiLeaks.

Today hackers bombarded the MasterCard website with a denial-of-service attack crashing the site. If you go to the site, right now, it will spin and possibly error out because so many people are going to the MasterCard website site, right now, and mucking up the servers. The "hacktivists" under "Operation Payback" have been hitting the companies who have been cutting ties with WikiLeaks due to pressure by the U.S. government, such as and PayPal Inc.

The U.S. government hasn't actually charged Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks, with any crimes but are considering charging him with espionage. Not because he has actually committed espionage, but because he set up wiki site that allows people to share information over the internet.

Dash Trash Tales vol. 3

The Connector is a really great service that Microsoft offers to its employees. For those who don’t know, the traffic in the Seattle metro area sucks. We’ve got Bellevue, Seattle, Redmond, and other cities all surrounded by lakes. And the original planners didn’t account for the massive amount of people who now live in the area. We have bridges over the lakes, two north-south interstates, and most of the side roads don’t go anywhere. So, what might be a short distance takes forever due to all the traffic. Depending on the study, Seattle usually ends up in the top 10 for worst traffic in the U.S.

Microsoft, for some also not well thought out reason, decided to build its small city/corporate campus in Redmond, a city east of everything with no good roads to get to it. And, since they now employee about 40,000 employees and almost as many contractors and venders, traffic to and from the offices gets backed up.

A few years ago Microsoft started offering the Connector- its own bus service. …

Tea-Party Comedy

A little conspiracy theory styled comedy thanks to

PayPal Drops WikiLeaks

WikiLeaks the website dedicated to exposing governments for the misleading, lying, cover-up loving, and incompetent bunch of douche-bags that they are, took another hit today. PayPal cut off WikiLeaks account that is used to collect donations.

WikiLeaks has been under attack lately. They have governments and hackers attacking the site forcing them to move their domain to Switzerland. The founder of the site receives death threats on a regular bases, and sexual assault charges. And now the government has motivated another big business besides Amazon to go after this organization, with PayPal no longer allowing supporters of the site to make donations.
If you have never been to the site, check out the about section and read with they do what they do, and why the government is against WikiLeaks goal of government openness and accountability for embarrassing, “Washington and foreign leaders by releasing a trove of brutally frank U.S. diplomatic cables” proving everything people think about…

WikiLeaks Moves to Switzerland

Further proving that you can’t actually say anything you want in America. the whistle blowing freedom of speech website has been forced to move to Switzerland.

WikiLeaks domain name has had to move to Switzerland after its U.S. service was withdrawn. Users can no longer visit to find out news the governments of the world don’t want you to know about, instead having to visit going forward. According to the story, “, a U.S. service that translates online addresses to Internet Protocol numbers to provide access, ended WikiLeaks’s service.”

Pentagon Study Says Repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

The pentagon released a study today they have been doing over the past year on the effects of repealing don’t ask don’t tell, and allowing gays and lesbians to openly serve in the military. It turns out that 70% of those actively serving in the military would be okay with gays serving in the military, or don’t care if they do. The average poll of Americans throughout the country shows that 58% to 60% of Americans would be okay with the law changing to allow gays to serve.

It’s interesting to note that more people who actually would be affected by this law changing approve of the law changing versus those who would not actually be effected by the law at all.

So what is the hold up now? Old while male Republicans like John McCain have opposed allowing gays to openly serve, as well as a small minority of old white male Democrats. The majority of Democrats want the law to change, and a few open minded Republicans want the law to change, and President Obama has stated he wants the law to c…

Mitt the Rat Does Dishes

Mitt Romney in an obviously staged picture, so as to pretend he is just like one of us normal Americans. You know he is totally thinking to himself, “hurry up at take the picture so I can hand this back over to the maid.”

TSA Gone Wild

You will need to select the image to actually see it.

Courtesy of the Rooster and Graph Jam

National Opt-Out Day

I won’t be flying this tomorrow, but I want to support those who are flying tomorrow the 24th and participating in National Opt-Out Day.

For those who don’t know, National Opt-Out Day is a day, where everyone flying should choose to get patted down instead of submitting to the full body scans. The idea being it will slow down the screening process and irritate the people doing the screening.

“Big deal,” you might be thinking, “I don’t care if some douche hired off the streets looks at my junk.” But before you go through with the body scan, just think of this as a continuing step to slowly giving up our rights and freedoms.

Why does the N.R.A. fight every attempt at gun regulations even though it might be something that it worthwhile? Because they understand that as they give away one right, someone will try to get them to give up another one later.

- Remember the days when people could actually walk each other to the boarding gate and see each other off.
- Remember the days when we didn’t …

How many baby pandas does it take to cause sea levels to rise .2 micrometers?


Buy Nothing Day

One week from today it will be that day again. That day, where people wake up as early as possible to run to the store to be first in line, or as close as possible. The day where they fight over that last parking spot, swearing and cussing at the person who beat them to it. That day where people trample over those who fall, or move to slow. That day where people fight over the discounted items, beat one another, insult, and attack one another for those Chinese made products. That day were people will wait in line forever, get stuck in the parking lot, swearing at everyone else while not noticing that they are also blocking traffic.
Yes that’s right, it will be black Friday. The day after the day where we hang out with family and have fun, so we compensate by being consumerist cheapskates. It’s black Friday, the day we have off of work just so we can drag our fat asses to Wallmart and buy as much as we can fit in the SUV.
Or for some, it’s not Black Friday. For some it’s Buy Nothing Day…

Bill Nye Drops and Everyone Tweets

Further proof that our society is doomed to failure.

Last night while doing a speech for an audience at the University of Southern California, Bill Nye "The Science Guy" collapsed.

You would think that a few people would have gotten up and checked to make sure we was okay, or offer help, but, according to this story, everyone in the audience began tweeting, facebooking, and taking pictures instead.

It would be nice if karma would react to situations like this and just drop the ceiling on the students in the auditorium.

Windows Phone 7, iPhone, Android Get Barbequed

Because they are having a hard time selling the product based on features, apparently they have decided to try marketing it as heat tolerant.


WTF California?!?

In case you haven't heard this, California, one of the most liberal states in the nation, voted down the opportunity to legalize marijuana with prop. 19. I'm going to assume the reason it failed has to do with people figuring their current method of obtaining it is just fine, versus, people who actually think it is a bad thing.

Read more in the SF Gate

Dash Trash Tales vol. 2

As a vender Microsoft doesn’t provide an office or seating area for the vender. The thought process is, they work for another company so that company should provide the office for the person. This can be done by either providing them a place to sit at wherever there office is, or Microsoft will let the company pay for an office on the campus. Most vender companies don’t do this as it eats into their profit. On my last V- assignment as Microsoft I usually had to be in the building, this had to do with meetings or just being available as needed.

In order to find a place to sit I would usually roam around the 3 story building I worked in, until I could find an office that was vacant. This is generally accepted practice on the Microsoft campus and the teams who those offices are assigned to don’t mind, because they aren’t being used. Usually what happens is when that office is going to be assigned to someone, someone comes by and lets us know that we need to move out. This can be done in …

Dash Trash Tales vol. 1

I did a post last year about how working at Microsoft as a V- or A- was like being black in the south during the 1950’s. Obviously, I don’t believe that statement to be true, but the post was intended to be sarcastic commentary in the way that blue badges tend to treat orange badges, intentional or not. Since that post I’ve had a few contractors get rather offended at the post.

So I’ve decided to back it up with stories of life at Microsoft as a V- or A-. If you have one you’d like to share good or bad, feel free to leave it as a comment.

This story was told to me by a co-worker. He is now an FTE but this story takes places during his time as a contracted (CSG) employee.

He worked on a team that had a couple of contractors, and there was an employee event within his organization. Wanting to make sure that everyone was included his manager invited him and the other contractor to the event. When they showed up at the event there were a couple of people at the entrance, who were actually ch…

November 2nd is Finally Here

Ahhh yes! It’s Tuesday. Fantastic. Why am I so happy it’s Tuesday? Because it’s also November 2nd. Why am I happy it’s November 2nd. Because today is the end of this year’s elections. Maybe the people I wanted to win didn’t, maybe the initiatives I wanted to pass didn’t pass, but I don’t care. Because I am sick and tired of all the damn ads when I surf for porn, I mean surf for useful information on the internet. I’m tired of the signs and crap in peoples yards, and I’m tired of the commercials when I turn on the television or radio.

Maybe it’s me, but it seems like every year the news and hype about each election grows. It could be that the news stations no longer actually report on the news, in finding that letting people rant opinion draws more ratings, but I’m getting sick of it.

Especially considering that no matter how many people protest, or who is in office, things don’t really change that much. The system sucks, and someday I’ll have that boat in the Caribbean so I won’t have …

Rally to Restore Sanity – Seattle Edition

I posted a few weeks ago about the Rally to Restore Sanity that Jon Stewart hosted, along with the Keep Fear Alive Rally by Stephen Colbert. Well, this last Saturday it happened and I attended the Seattle event, held at Westlake Center.

The day started off fine and as I left the house, along with three friends, the day was sunny. Unfortunately the rain slowing began as we drove to downtown Seattle. And by the time we parked the car and walked to the event (already in full swing) the rain was pouring down. Yet, I have to give Seattle residents props on their ability to ignore the rain and cold. Signs were held high saying things like…


All the while we stood and watched a webcast of the event in Washington D.C. which appeared to be having a very nice and sunny day. The webcast occasionally had its pauses and hiccups, as they often do, and the rally was a lot like watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but all in all it looked like the crowds were having a good time. And with …

Some More Happy News About The Artic

The latest Arctic Report Card from NOAA

No Mops Please

Next time you are taking one of the Washington State ferries, be sure to throw the head of your mop in the trash and not in the toilet.

It’s a good thing they have this sign, because the mop I carry around with me all the time probably would have ended up in the toilet if not for this warning sign.

Ads in the Cart

Even in the shopping cart at the store they are trying to sell me something. Is it just me or are these ads everywhere getting a little excessive.

But then again, chili dogs do taste good.

Washington States District 21 Representative

And for my final cranky recommendations this election season, it will be for Washington States District 21 representatives.

Part of these recommendations are partially based on interactions I had with these people last year. You can read the posts under My Washington Representatives part 1 and part 2. In those posts I had an issues that I e-mailed my representatives about. Out of the three one called me back, the other sent me a generic e-mailed response, and the third did nothing.

First up Marko Liias vs. Elizabeth Scott
Out of the three I e-mailed on that issues, Marko was the one who called me back. I was impressed that he would take the time to listen to me on the issue, and that he was actually following up. I found the conversation very cordial and he came across as a pretty decent person. So in this category it’s an easy one… Vote for Marko Liias

Next up – Mary Helen Roberts vs. Ed Borey
Mary was the one who sent me the generic e-mailed response. And I can feel pretty confident in …

Walmart Hotties and Studs

And for a quick break from the politics, some Walmart comedy. Courtesy of People of Wallmart. No commentary needed:

Check out there site for more, it's well worth a visit.

Washington State Initiative and Resolutions for 2010

The Cranky Monkey advises on how you should vote. Because I know what I’m talking about.

Initiative 1053:
"Initiative 1053 would require a two-thirds majority to pass any tax increase in the state legislature."

Vote Yes

I know we have already voted on this many times and already approved it in Washington. But as residents know, the state legislator ignored this law, so now let’s do it again. Maybe one of these days they will actually start listening to the voters… okay, probably not, but it’s not like it will hurt anything to have it passed.

Initiative 1082:
"This measure would permit certification of private insurers as industrial insurance insurers, and authorize employers to purchase state-mandated industrial insurance coverage through an 'industrial insurance insurer' beginning July 1, 2012."

Vote No

Why am I saying vote no? Because I know absolutely nothing about this issue, that’s why.

Initiative 1098:
"This measure would tax “adjusted gross income” above …

James Watkins vs. Jay Inslee for Washington State Representative

So I’m driving home from work on a Friday afternoon. The interstate of full of traffic as usual, and as I get closer to an overpass it gets even more backed up. When I get to the overpass I see why everyone is slowing down, because a small group of douche-bags are holding signs for James Watkins and waving flags. The next overpass… the same thing.

So, who should you vote for? Vote for Jay Inslee because James Watkins supporters cause traffic jams.

Blog Action Day - Water

It is blog action day today and the theme this year is water. It could be on clean water, water resources, or water projects of some kind. For my contributing post to this year’s theme, I’ve decide not to write, but to use images to tell a story from travels around the world.

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